Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

[Anjum Farook 2O]

What do you do with a sick chemist?

First you try and helium, then try and curium, but it that doesn’t work, you barium

[Laila Stedman 3G]

Helium walks into a bar,
The bar tender says "We don't serve noble gasses in here."
Helium doesn't react.

[Huongly Do 3D]

What do you call a tooth in a glass of water?

A one molar solution.

[Marie_Rhoads_2C]

My friend was reading a book about anti-gravity...He said it's impossible to put down!

[JessenyaReyes_1B]

joke below :)

[Priscilla_Molina_3J]

I wish to apologize for not having more chemistry jokes, but I only add them periodically.

[Brian_Mena_1J]

Enjoy

[Mirian_Garcia_2G]

[Priscilla_Molina_3J]

You must be a compound of barium and beryllium because you're a total BaBe ;)

[Ian Brown 1K]

Why did the white bear dissolve in water?

Because it was polar!

[Jason_Hong_2J]

Why did the noble gas cry?

Because all of his friends Argon.

[Michael Sparks 2F]

What do you call a tooth in a glass of water?

A one molar solution

[Alexxa_Vasquez_3B]

:)

[Novelpreet_Boparai1N]

If you're not part of the solution, you're part of the precipitate.

[Isaiah Sandoval 1D]

Anode has no friends. You might be asking why? If you ask them, they'll saying he's too salty for their taste.

[Katherine_Ly_1H]

Organic chemistry is difficult. Those who study it have alkynes of trouble.

[Jerry_Dar_3C]

Have you ever heard that one about the chemist who was reading a book about helium and just couldn't put it down?

[z_hernandez_loza_3J]

.

[Ethan_Wilson_1E]

Two atoms are walking down the street. One atom says to the other, “Hey! I think I lost an electron!”

The other says, “Are you sure?”

“Yes, I’m positive!

[Celine_Ngo_3L]

(or sunday)

[Faizal_Mamani_1F]

What's wrong with a joke involving Cobalt, Radon, and Ytterium?


...its CoRn Y

[Billy Ngoy 2I]

Q: Why are chemists great for solving problems?

A: They have all the solutions.

[Britney Pheng 1L]

[Sunny Chera 1N]

What do you call a tooth in a glass of water?

A one molar solution!

[Melissa Ledesma 2B]

!!

[Ann Zhang_1M]

Don't trust atoms, they make up everything.

[Makenna Vulgas 1G]

Anyone know any jokes about sodium?

Na......

[Kareem]

“What is the difference between thermodynamics and a stick?

Answer: “A stick has two ends and no beginning. Thermodynamics has two ‘beginnings’ (the first and second law) and no end.”

[Thomas_Elizabeth_3A]

Making bad chemistry jokes because all the good ones Argon!

[Srishti_Dhawan_2I]

Have you heard the one about a chemist who was reading a book about helium?
He just couldn't put it down.

[Linh Ngau 1F]

This is me.

[Samya Konda 2I]

A photon checks into a hotel and is asked if he needs any help with his luggage. He says, "No, I'm traveling light."

Organic chemistry is difficult. Those who study it have alkynes of trouble.

[Andrew Nguyen 3O]

Q. What is a cation afraid of?


A. A dogion

[alliedavis]

[paulapedrani]

“What is the difference between thermodynamics and a stick?

“A stick has two ends and no beginning. Thermodynamics has two ‘beginnings’ (the first and second law) and no end.”

[Sascha_Clark_4I]

Q:Hey what's nu?
A: C/λ

[Libbyfidel_1E]

I once told a chem joke, there was no reaction.

[Jagmeet_Arora_1G]

Q: Did you hear about the man who got cooled to absolute zero?

A: he's 0k now ;)

[Angela_Pu_3C]

[Jaz_Y_1H]

What did the scientist say when he found 2 isotopes of helium? Hehe

A chemist was reading a book on helium. He couldn’t put it down.

Old chemists never die, they just stop reacting.

[Theresa_Trieu_2G]

[Paul Sedaros 1B]

Q: What do you get when you mix barium, cobalt, and nitrogen?
A: BaCoN

[Jasmine_Wong_2K]

Why did the bear dissolve in water?
It was polar.

[Jessica Huang 1M]

[maria_tamondong_1L]

Q: Why was the mole of oxygen molecules excited when he walked out of the singles bar?
A: He got Avogadro's number!

[Mackenzie_Lowenstein_2N]

If you're not part of the solution, you're part of the precipitate.

[Mackenzie_Lowenstein_2N]

A photon checks into a hotel and is asked if he needs any help with his luggage. He says, "No, I'm traveling light."

[Mackenzie_Lowenstein_2N]

Did you hear about the man who got cooled to absolute zero? He's 0K now.

[Mackenzie_Lowenstein_2N]

If the Silver Surfer and Iron Man team up, they'd be alloys.

[Mackenzie_Lowenstein_2N]

The name's Bond. Ionic Bond. Taken, not shared.

[Mimi_Giang_1F]

Why did the noble gas cry?
Because all his friends argon.

[Katie_Ho_1M]

What kind of dogs do chemists have?

Laboratory Retrievers

[Kristen_Power_1C]

I have many chemistry jokes.
I'm just afraid they won't get a good reaction!

[Neha Nibber 3H]

Did you hear Oxygen and Potassium went on a date?
It went OK!

Not even a week later, Oxygen and Magnesium went out!
OMg

Oxygen then tried to ask Nitrogen out...
She said NO!

[Hanan_Kashkoul_1O]

[Nathan Mallipeddi 2H]

Q: Anyone know any jokes about sodium?
A: Na

[Nathan Mallipeddi 2H]

Making bad chemistry jokes because all the good ones Argon

[JoAnna Yortiss 2G]

How often do I like jokes about chemistry?

Periodically.

[Sharlene Reyes 2N]

[Jonathan_Hu_2C]

(Chem Joke)

[Jessie_Chen_2L]

[Teresa_Duarte_3K]

Q: What animal is made up of calcium, nickel and neon?
A: A CaNiNe

[Samart_Condon_1D]

Every dipole has its moment.

[Timothy_Hyun_2K]

Don't trust an atom.

They make up everything.

[Ikechukwu Ofoegbu 3D]

Q: What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?
A: A ferrous wheel.

[Zaamin Khwaja 3D]

Did you know that you can freeze yourself to -273.15 degrees Celsius and still be 0K

[saminah_adam]

Graduated Cylinder Joke

[Sonia_Lele_2K]

A chemistry lab is like a big party. Some drop acid, others drop the base.

[Jane Sin 3A]

The optimist sees the glass half full. The pessimist sees the glass half empty. The chemist sees the glass completely full, half with liquid and half with air.

Q: What is the name of 007's Eskimo cousin?
A: Polar Bond.

My favorite-
Q: What element is a girl's future best friend?
A: Carbon.

[Cindy Ngo 1E]

Teacher: Chemistry test tomorrow!
Me: How about Nitric Oxide (NO)..

[AlexandraOsterland_3E]

Since Valentine's Day is coming up:)
I wish I was an ion so I could form an exothermic bond with you.
If you were C6, and I were H12, all we would need is the air we breathe to be sweeter than sugar.

[msrivastava_]

Q: What do you get when you mix sulfur, tungsten, and silver?
A: SWAG

[SarahTian3k]

Why do chemists learn about ammonia first?
It's pretty basic stuff.

[Jessica De Anda 2C]

A small piece of sodium that lived in a test tube fell in love with a Bunsen burner. "Oh Bunsen, my flame," the sodium pined. "I melt whenever I see you," The Bunsen burner replied, "It's just a phase you're going through."

[Chaoyi_He_3H]

What is the formula for water?
H, I, J, K, L, M, N, O
H to O.

[Tyler_Vellozzi_3E]

What do you call an acid with a bad attitude? A mean oh acid

[Nick_Ida 1D]

What do you get when you cross two hydrogen buffalo and a oxygen buffalo?
-A water buffalo

[Odel Zadeh_2C]

Two atoms are walking down the street.
Says one atom to the other, "Hey! I think I lost an electron!"
The other says, "Are you sure??"
"Yes, I'm positive!"

[Rachelle_Stark_3H]

3.14% of sailors are Pi rates

[Ashley T 2H]

The guy next to me asked me if I had any Hypo Bromide; he said NaBrO.

[yubin moon 3c]

.

[Evan Gentry 2E]

Why did the bear dissolve in water?
It was a Polar bear!

[204639491]

If a king farts...

Is it a Noble Gas?

[Mirian_Garcia_2G]

[Ting Zheng 3L]

What do you call a clown who's in jail?

A silicon!

[Jaz_Y_1H]

I found the large hot dog from the electrochem demo!

[Philline_Tumbaga_1F]

[Jaspreet_Nagra_2I]

Q:
What kind of fish is made up of only 2 sodium atoms?
A:
2Na

[Chris Liddicoat]

Two chemists go into a bar. The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O." The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" — and he died.

[Ivy Kwok 2I]

[Amber_Candelaria_1D]

[Kiana_Shibata_2G]

What is the most important thing to learn in chemistry? To never lick the spoon!

[heather_carlton_1K]

What did the copper anode say to the aluminum cathode, prior to electroplating?
Al Cu later

[Josh_Zhong_1F]

GOT MOLE PROBLEMS?
CALL AVOGADRO AT 602-1023

LOLOLOLOLLLLLLLLLL,

[Mirian_Garcia_2G]

[Omeed_Partovi_1L]

Why did the liquid smell so good?

-Because it didn't pass gas.

[Iris Feng 2I]

How do you make 24-molar solution?

Put artificial teeth in water.

[Shushanna S 3F]

I'm so salty, you could you could make a battery out of me.

[Cecile Riviere-Cazaux 2A]

[Hannah Liu 2A]

Q: What do you call Iron blowing in the wind?
A: Febreze!