Chemistry Joke

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Jonathan Orozco 1A
Posts: 9
Joined: Wed Sep 21, 2016 2:58 pm

Chemistry Joke

Postby Jonathan Orozco 1A » Sat Feb 11, 2017 9:19 pm

Question: Why does hamburger have less energy than steak?

Answer: Because it's in the ground state.

Aileen Nguyen 3N
Posts: 26
Joined: Wed Sep 21, 2016 2:56 pm
Been upvoted: 1 time

Re: Chemistry Joke

Postby Aileen Nguyen 3N » Sun Feb 12, 2017 9:00 pm

Great joke!
However, you're supposed to post all chemistry jokes here:
viewtopic.php?f=156&t=4291

Sebastian
Posts: 15
Joined: Wed Sep 21, 2016 2:56 pm

Re: Chemistry Joke

Postby Sebastian » Fri Mar 17, 2017 9:48 pm

I would write a chemistry joke but all of the good ones Argon.

Sam Smoot 2L
Posts: 59
Joined: Fri Sep 29, 2017 7:04 am

Re: Chemistry Joke

Postby Sam Smoot 2L » Fri Jan 12, 2018 2:19 pm

post
Attachments
Drop the base meme.jpeg
Drop the base meme.jpeg (14.05 KiB) Viewed 2469 times

Sam Smoot 2L
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Re: Chemistry Joke

Postby Sam Smoot 2L » Fri Jan 12, 2018 2:19 pm

post
Attachments
Formal charge meme 2.jpeg
Formal charge meme 2.jpeg (10.09 KiB) Viewed 2469 times

Sam Smoot 2L
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Joined: Fri Sep 29, 2017 7:04 am

Re: Chemistry Joke

Postby Sam Smoot 2L » Fri Jan 12, 2018 2:19 pm

post
Attachments
Mr. bean chem meme.jpg

Karen Zheng_2H
Posts: 40
Joined: Fri Sep 29, 2017 7:04 am

Re: Chemistry Joke

Postby Karen Zheng_2H » Sun Jan 14, 2018 2:37 pm

What kind of dogs do chemists have?





Laboratory retrievers

Karen Zheng_2H
Posts: 40
Joined: Fri Sep 29, 2017 7:04 am

Re: Chemistry Joke

Postby Karen Zheng_2H » Sun Jan 14, 2018 2:38 pm

Why did the polar bear dissolve in water?




Because it was polar.
Attachments
why-did-the-white-bear-dissolve-in-water.jpg

Sam Smoot 2L
Posts: 59
Joined: Fri Sep 29, 2017 7:04 am

Re: Chemistry Joke

Postby Sam Smoot 2L » Fri Jan 19, 2018 2:59 pm

Q: Why do chemists call helium, curium and barium the medical elements?
A: Because if you can’t helium or curium, you barium!

Sam Smoot 2L
Posts: 59
Joined: Fri Sep 29, 2017 7:04 am

Re: Chemistry Joke

Postby Sam Smoot 2L » Fri Jan 19, 2018 2:59 pm

Organic chemistry is difficult. It causes alkynes of problems.

Sam Smoot 2L
Posts: 59
Joined: Fri Sep 29, 2017 7:04 am

Re: Chemistry Joke

Postby Sam Smoot 2L » Fri Jan 19, 2018 3:00 pm

Q: What do you call a clown in prison?
A: Silicon

Sam Smoot 2L
Posts: 59
Joined: Fri Sep 29, 2017 7:04 am

Re: Chemistry Joke

Postby Sam Smoot 2L » Sun Jan 28, 2018 2:37 pm

Technically speaking...

Alcohol is a solution

Josh Moy 1H
Posts: 58
Joined: Thu Jul 13, 2017 3:00 am

Re: Chemistry Joke

Postby Josh Moy 1H » Tue Feb 20, 2018 11:54 pm

if you aren't part of the solution you're part of the precipitate

Karen Zheng_2H
Posts: 40
Joined: Fri Sep 29, 2017 7:04 am

Re: Chemistry Joke

Postby Karen Zheng_2H » Wed Feb 21, 2018 1:03 pm

.
Attachments
look-mom-carbon-tetrafluoride.jpg

Karen Zheng_2H
Posts: 40
Joined: Fri Sep 29, 2017 7:04 am

Re: Chemistry Joke

Postby Karen Zheng_2H » Wed Feb 21, 2018 1:04 pm

.
Attachments
i-heard-oxygen-and-magnesium-were-going-out.jpg

Karen Zheng_2H
Posts: 40
Joined: Fri Sep 29, 2017 7:04 am

Re: Chemistry Joke

Postby Karen Zheng_2H » Wed Feb 21, 2018 1:07 pm

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Attachments
what-is-the-chemical-formula-for-seawater.jpg

Karen Zheng_2H
Posts: 40
Joined: Fri Sep 29, 2017 7:04 am

Re: Chemistry Joke

Postby Karen Zheng_2H » Wed Feb 21, 2018 1:10 pm

.
Attachments
mercedes-benzene.jpg

Karen Zheng_2H
Posts: 40
Joined: Fri Sep 29, 2017 7:04 am

Re: Chemistry Joke

Postby Karen Zheng_2H » Wed Feb 21, 2018 1:11 pm

.
Attachments
the-atomic-symbol-for-confusion.jpg

Karen Zheng_2H
Posts: 40
Joined: Fri Sep 29, 2017 7:04 am

Re: Chemistry Joke

Postby Karen Zheng_2H » Wed Feb 21, 2018 1:13 pm

when you spill water all over your laptop :(
Attachments
oh-no-i-spilled-water-all-over-my-laptop.jpg

Karen Zheng_2H
Posts: 40
Joined: Fri Sep 29, 2017 7:04 am

Re: Chemistry Joke

Postby Karen Zheng_2H » Wed Feb 21, 2018 1:13 pm

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Attachments
what-emotional-disorder-does-a-gas-chromatograph-suffer-from.jpg

Karen Zheng_2H
Posts: 40
Joined: Fri Sep 29, 2017 7:04 am

Re: Chemistry Joke

Postby Karen Zheng_2H » Wed Feb 21, 2018 1:16 pm

.
Attachments
oh-my-gosh-ive-lost-a-neutron.jpg

Karen Zheng_2H
Posts: 40
Joined: Fri Sep 29, 2017 7:04 am

Re: Chemistry Joke

Postby Karen Zheng_2H » Wed Feb 21, 2018 1:17 pm

.
Attachments
chemistry-jokes-are-sodium-funny.jpg

Karen Zheng_2H
Posts: 40
Joined: Fri Sep 29, 2017 7:04 am

Re: Chemistry Joke

Postby Karen Zheng_2H » Wed Feb 21, 2018 1:17 pm

.
Attachments
na-na-na-na-na-batman.jpg

Karen Zheng_2H
Posts: 40
Joined: Fri Sep 29, 2017 7:04 am

Re: Chemistry Joke

Postby Karen Zheng_2H » Wed Feb 21, 2018 1:18 pm

rip vday
Attachments
be-my-covalentine.jpg

Karen Zheng_2H
Posts: 40
Joined: Fri Sep 29, 2017 7:04 am

Re: Chemistry Joke

Postby Karen Zheng_2H » Wed Feb 21, 2018 1:19 pm

.
Attachments
drop-the-base.jpg

Josh Moy 1H
Posts: 58
Joined: Thu Jul 13, 2017 3:00 am

Re: Chemistry Joke

Postby Josh Moy 1H » Sun Feb 25, 2018 8:29 pm

These are some funny jokes!!

Josh Moy 1H
Posts: 58
Joined: Thu Jul 13, 2017 3:00 am

Re: Chemistry Joke

Postby Josh Moy 1H » Sun Feb 25, 2018 8:29 pm

Did you gain an electron because I’m starting to feel some charge

Josh Moy 1H
Posts: 58
Joined: Thu Jul 13, 2017 3:00 am

Re: Chemistry Joke

Postby Josh Moy 1H » Sun Feb 25, 2018 8:30 pm

What did the basic DJ say?

Drop the base!!!

hojae_lee_1C
Posts: 51
Joined: Fri Jun 23, 2017 11:39 am

Re: Chemistry Joke

Postby hojae_lee_1C » Sun Mar 04, 2018 10:59 pm

Q: Why do chemistry students do well when working with ammonia?
A: Because it's pretty basic stuff.

hojae_lee_1C
Posts: 51
Joined: Fri Jun 23, 2017 11:39 am

Re: Chemistry Joke

Postby hojae_lee_1C » Sun Mar 04, 2018 10:59 pm

Q: What do you do with a sick chemist?
A: If you can't helium and you can't curium, then you may as well barium.

hojae_lee_1C
Posts: 51
Joined: Fri Jun 23, 2017 11:39 am

Re: Chemistry Joke

Postby hojae_lee_1C » Sun Mar 04, 2018 11:00 pm

Two atoms are walking down the street.
One of them shouts, "Hey! I think I lost an electron!"
The other inquires, "Are you sure?"
"Yes, I'm positive!"

hojae_lee_1C
Posts: 51
Joined: Fri Jun 23, 2017 11:39 am

Re: Chemistry Joke

Postby hojae_lee_1C » Sun Mar 04, 2018 11:00 pm

The best thing about learning equilibrium is that nothing changes.

hojae_lee_1C
Posts: 51
Joined: Fri Jun 23, 2017 11:39 am

Re: Chemistry Joke

Postby hojae_lee_1C » Sun Mar 04, 2018 11:01 pm

Q: Why does hamburger yield lower energy than steak?
A: Because it's in the ground state.

hojae_lee_1C
Posts: 51
Joined: Fri Jun 23, 2017 11:39 am

Re: Chemistry Joke

Postby hojae_lee_1C » Sun Mar 04, 2018 11:05 pm

Q: Why does the army use acid?
A: To neutralize the enemy base.

Karen Zheng_2H
Posts: 40
Joined: Fri Sep 29, 2017 7:04 am

Re: Chemistry Joke

Postby Karen Zheng_2H » Mon Mar 12, 2018 3:29 am

What is the chemical formula for "banana"?
BaNa2

Karen Zheng_2H
Posts: 40
Joined: Fri Sep 29, 2017 7:04 am

Re: Chemistry Joke

Postby Karen Zheng_2H » Mon Mar 12, 2018 3:30 am

What do you do with a sick chemist?
If you can't helium, and you can't curium, then you might as well barium.

Karen Zheng_2H
Posts: 40
Joined: Fri Sep 29, 2017 7:04 am

Re: Chemistry Joke

Postby Karen Zheng_2H » Mon Mar 12, 2018 3:30 am

If the Silver Surfer and Iron Man team up, they’d be alloys.

Karen Zheng_2H
Posts: 40
Joined: Fri Sep 29, 2017 7:04 am

Re: Chemistry Joke

Postby Karen Zheng_2H » Mon Mar 12, 2018 3:30 am

Anyone know any jokes about sodium?
Na.

Karen Zheng_2H
Posts: 40
Joined: Fri Sep 29, 2017 7:04 am

Re: Chemistry Joke

Postby Karen Zheng_2H » Mon Mar 12, 2018 3:31 am

Silver walks up to Gold in a bar and says, "AU, get outta here!"

Karen Zheng_2H
Posts: 40
Joined: Fri Sep 29, 2017 7:04 am

Re: Chemistry Joke

Postby Karen Zheng_2H » Mon Mar 12, 2018 3:31 am

Making bad chemistry jokes because all the good ones Argon

Karen Zheng_2H
Posts: 40
Joined: Fri Sep 29, 2017 7:04 am

Re: Chemistry Joke

Postby Karen Zheng_2H » Mon Mar 12, 2018 3:38 am

The optimist sees the glass half full.
The pessimist sees the glass half empty.
The chemist see the glass completely full, half in the liquid state and half in the vapor state.

Karen Zheng_2H
Posts: 40
Joined: Fri Sep 29, 2017 7:04 am

Re: Chemistry Joke

Postby Karen Zheng_2H » Mon Mar 12, 2018 3:39 am

What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?
A ferrous wheel.

Karen Zheng_2H
Posts: 40
Joined: Fri Sep 29, 2017 7:04 am

Re: Chemistry Joke

Postby Karen Zheng_2H » Mon Mar 12, 2018 3:39 am

What did the bartender say when oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium, and phosphorous walked into his bar?
OH SNaP!

Karen Zheng_2H
Posts: 40
Joined: Fri Sep 29, 2017 7:04 am

Re: Chemistry Joke

Postby Karen Zheng_2H » Mon Mar 12, 2018 3:40 am

Why do chemists enjoy working with ammonia?
Because it's pretty basic stuff.

Karen Zheng_2H
Posts: 40
Joined: Fri Sep 29, 2017 7:04 am

Re: Chemistry Joke

Postby Karen Zheng_2H » Mon Mar 12, 2018 1:22 pm

Why does hamburger yield lower energy than steak?
Because it's in the ground state.

Karen Zheng_2H
Posts: 40
Joined: Fri Sep 29, 2017 7:04 am

Re: Chemistry Joke

Postby Karen Zheng_2H » Mon Mar 12, 2018 1:22 pm

Titanium is a most amorous metal. When it gets hot, it'll combine with anything.

Karen Zheng_2H
Posts: 40
Joined: Fri Sep 29, 2017 7:04 am

Re: Chemistry Joke

Postby Karen Zheng_2H » Mon Mar 12, 2018 1:23 pm

When one physicist asks another, "What's new?" what's the typical response?
C over lambda.

Kyung_Jin_Kim_1H
Posts: 53
Joined: Thu Jul 27, 2017 3:00 am

Re: Chemistry Joke

Postby Kyung_Jin_Kim_1H » Mon Mar 12, 2018 4:13 pm

What did the chemist buy from the beaver hunter?

Aldehydes

...sorry. I'm bad at these.

Sam Smoot 2L
Posts: 59
Joined: Fri Sep 29, 2017 7:04 am

Re: Chemistry Joke

Postby Sam Smoot 2L » Fri Mar 16, 2018 2:50 pm

Q: Why do chemists enjoy working with ammonia?
A: Because it's pretty basic stuff.

Sam Smoot 2L
Posts: 59
Joined: Fri Sep 29, 2017 7:04 am

Re: Chemistry Joke

Postby Sam Smoot 2L » Fri Mar 16, 2018 2:50 pm

Q: Why does hamburger yield lower energy than steak?
A: Because it's in the ground state.

Sam Smoot 2L
Posts: 59
Joined: Fri Sep 29, 2017 7:04 am

Re: Chemistry Joke

Postby Sam Smoot 2L » Fri Mar 16, 2018 2:51 pm

Q: What is "HIJKLMNO"?
A: H2O.

Karen Zheng_2H
Posts: 40
Joined: Fri Sep 29, 2017 7:04 am

Re: Chemistry Joke

Postby Karen Zheng_2H » Sun Mar 18, 2018 12:16 am

What do you do with a dead chemist?
Barium.

Karen Zheng_2H
Posts: 40
Joined: Fri Sep 29, 2017 7:04 am

Re: Chemistry Joke

Postby Karen Zheng_2H » Sun Mar 18, 2018 12:16 am

What is the name of 007's Eskimo cousin?
Polar bond.

Karen Zheng_2H
Posts: 40
Joined: Fri Sep 29, 2017 7:04 am

Re: Chemistry Joke

Postby Karen Zheng_2H » Sun Mar 18, 2018 12:17 am

What element is a girl's future best friend?
Carbon.

Thompson W 2C
Posts: 54
Joined: Fri Sep 29, 2017 7:07 am
Been upvoted: 5 times

Re: Chemistry Joke

Postby Thompson W 2C » Sun Mar 18, 2018 4:28 am

The optimist sees the glass half full.
The pessimist sees the glass half empty.
The chemist see the glass completely full, half in the liquid state and half in the vapor state.

Thompson W 2C
Posts: 54
Joined: Fri Sep 29, 2017 7:07 am
Been upvoted: 5 times

Re: Chemistry Joke

Postby Thompson W 2C » Sun Mar 18, 2018 4:28 am

Helium walks into a bar,
The bar tender says "We don't serve noble gasses in here."
Helium doesn't react.

Thompson W 2C
Posts: 54
Joined: Fri Sep 29, 2017 7:07 am
Been upvoted: 5 times

Re: Chemistry Joke

Postby Thompson W 2C » Sun Mar 18, 2018 4:29 am

Don't trust atoms, they make up everything.

mendozayael_2H
Posts: 31
Joined: Fri Sep 29, 2017 7:06 am

Re: Chemistry Joke

Postby mendozayael_2H » Sun Mar 18, 2018 5:10 am

According to lecture, what might be Dr. Lavelle's favorite band?

A-ha


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