Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

[Shivali_Raja_3K]

My name is Bond...

[Celine_Ngo_3L]

[Sarai_Ferrer_3C]

When studying for my chemistry midterm, this happens...

[Madison_Moore_1I]

How many moles are in a guacamole? Avocado's number.

[Justin_Bueno_2O]

+-

[Samya Konda 2I]

Silver walks up to Gold in a bar and says, "A U, get out of here!"

[Anika_Desar_3N]

HAHA

[Diana_Visco_1l]

SHORT BUT SWEET...

How about the chemical workers… are they unionized?

[Julia_Wenzel_1E]

How many atoms are there in guacamole?

Avocado's Number.

[Katherine_Ly_1H]

What did the scientist say when he found 2 isotopes of helium?

He He

[Tania_Torres_3O]

“Oh”! The element of surprise.

[Andy Chen 3L]

[Sally_Tu_1H]

Why did Carbon marry Hydrogen?

They bonded well from the minute they met.

[Sophie_Ahmad_2F]

Q: Why did the noble gas cry?
A: Because all his friends Argon

[TramHo2G]

What's a cation afraid of?

A dogion.

[Ashley Van Belle 2B]

Heisenberg and Schrödinger get pulled over for speeding.
The cop asks Heisenberg “Do you know how fast you were going?”
Heisenberg replies, “No, but we know exactly where we are!”
The officer looks at him confused and says “you were going 108 miles per hour!”
Heisenberg throws his arms up and cries, “Great! Now we’re lost!”
The officer looks over the car and asks Schrödinger if the two men have anything in the trunk.
"A cat," Schrödinger replies.
The cop opens the trunk and yells “Hey! This cat is dead.”
Schrödinger angrily replies, “Well he is now.”

[Kristen_Power_1C]

Why do chemists learn about ammonia first?
It's pretty basic stuff...

[Annie Tagvoryan 3A]

H2O is water and H2O2 is hydrogen peroxide. What is H2O4? Drinking.

This actually took me a second.

[Victoria Vu 3L]

All of the chemistry jokes Argon... maybe I should Zinc of a new one.

[Yamilex Velgara 2I]

How I feel about midterms and finals

[604746385]

A neutron walks into a bar and asks how much for a beer?
The bartender says "For you, no charge"

[Elle_Bertuccelli_1B]

[RitaChang_2C]

I have many chemistry jokes.

I'm just afraid they won't get a good reaction.

[Alexxa_Vasquez_3B]

Someone threw some sodium chloride at me

It was a salt. :):

[Cerjay_Lugtu_3B]

"Do you want any Sodium, Bromine, or Oxygen?"

"NaBrO"

[Niveda_Tennety_1H]

Someone studying atoms is really just a bunch of atoms trying to understand themselves.

[Lei Wena Herme 1O]

What do you call an acid with an attitude?
A-mean-oh acid!

[ben maryamian]

Want to hear a joke about Sodium Hypobromite?

NaBrO.

[Kimberly_Hoh_2A]

Is the glass half full or half empty?
Optimist: half full
Pessimist: half empty
Chemist: always full, half liquid half gas ;)

[isabelle ruedisueli 1j]

What did iron say to gold when he stole his watch?
A-u! bring that back!
:))

[Samantha_Leong_3K]

[Sandy_Kim_1K]

Haha, these jokes are Sodium funny!

[rielapopp3O]

What element startles chemists?

The element of surprise!

[Jaspreet_Nagra_2I]

Q:
What is the chemical formula for Banana?
A:
BaNa2

[alvitaxiao]

A photon checks into a hotel and is asked if he needs any help with his luggage. He says, "No, I'm traveling light."

[Wesley_Rugen_1E]

Why did the acid go to the gym?
To get buffer.

Two atoms were walking down the street one day, when one of them exclaimed. "Oh no - I've lost an electron!" "Are you sure?" the other one asked. "Yes," replied the first one, "I'm positive."

How do you pick out a dead battery from a pile of good ones?
It's got no spark!

[Mirian_Garcia_2G]

[Mirian_Garcia_2G]

[Toby Lin 1J]

[Jessica De Anda 2C]

Q: What did the bartender say when oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium, and phosphorous walked into his bar?
A: OH SNaP!

[Annie_Amundson_1L]

Q: What do you get when you mix polonium, titanium, oxygen, and nitrogen ?

A: A PoTiON

[Raj Susarla 3I]

If you're not part of the solution, you're part of the precipitate.

[Tamara_Torosyan_1J]

.

[Breanna Buhay 2H]

Q: Why did Carbon marry Hydrogen?
A: They bonded well from the minute they met.

[Kirsten Bermudo 1O]

Titanium is a most amorous metal. When it gets hot, it'll combine with anything.

[Nikki Nguyen 2N]

.

[Tina_Keshishian_2F]

What's a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?
-A ferrous wheel

[Luigivar 2F]

Q: What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?
A: A ferrous wheel:
Fe - Fe
/ \
Fe Fe
\ /
Fe - Fe

[Desiree Martin 2A]

[PriscillaMariscal_3F]

In order to do well on this midterm, I have to start thinking like a proton.
Always positive.

[sboutros2B]

Entropy just isn't what it used to be ):

[Thomas Morgan 1B]

The name's Bond. Ionic Bond. Taken, not shared.

[Morgan_McMasters_3A]

Have you heard the one about a chemist who was reading a book about helium?
He just couldn't put it down.

[Jeana Wei 3C]

[Kristine_Espinosa_2L]

Why did the bear dissolve in water?

It was a polar bear!

[Eli Pazol 2F]

if i could actually get into a lab

[Banik_Housepian_2K]

Did you know that you can cool yourself to -273.15˚C and still be 0k?

[Madison Juul 1D]

You must be made of Uranium and Iodine because all i see is U and I!

[Mackenzie_Lowenstein_2N]

Why did the white furry bear dissolve in water? Because it was polar.

[304779711]

Are you a carbon sample? Because I want to date you.

[FaithPigeon_1E]

Next time you want a lady to swoon say "bby you're full of berillium gold and titanium" Be Au Ti Full.

[Isaiah Sandoval 1D]

Only true scientists understand the following joke :)
On Valentine's Day a man got his wife elements. She was puzzled when she first saw them, only to think that it was out of his league to pull a stunt like this for her on this day. What elements were they you may ask? She saw them in the following order: Carbon, Hydrogen, Oxygen, Carbon, Oxygen, Lanthanum, and Tellerium.
(Hint: If you don't get it, look at their element/atomic symbol.)

[JulieLy_3C]

[Vivian Wang 3J]

[Jane Sin 3A]

Jokes that go well together:

Q: Did you hear Oxygen went on a date with Potassium?
A: It went OK!

Q: How did Oxygen's second date with Potassium go?
A: It went OK2!

[Simran Brar 1J]

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[Ikechukwu Ofoegbu 3D]

A neutron walks into a bar. He asks the bartender, "How much for a beer?" The bartender offers him a warm smile and says, "For you, no charge".

[Billy Ngoy 2I]

Q: What kind of fish is made of two sodium atoms?

A: 2 Na.

[Billy Ngoy 2I]

Q: How often do you like Chemistry jokes?

A: Periodically ;D

[KylaTenido1G]

Alkali metals are NSFW (not safe for water)

[ckim_1I]

I already have a bad romance with chem

[ckim_1I]

:)

[ckim_1I]

anotha one

[ckim_1I]

Basically me

[ckim_1I]

i always slap my neon these cat jokes

[Jagmeet_Arora_1G]

This joke :)

[anatorres1B]

cats and science are my life

[Kelly Ortega 1K]

Q: What is the name of 007's Eskimo cousin?
A: Polar Bond.

[Anisha Patel 1G]

What do you call a scientific plant?
A chemis-tree!

[John Ly 2I]

trueeee

[JessenyaReyes_1B]

here is a joke

[Sarah Sackey_3G]

http://www.kappit.com/img/pics/201512_1255_baiie_sm.jpg

[Ana_Andrade_1A]

Ion-estly can't think of one good joke

[Lexy Swenson 1F]

I heard that Oxygen and Magnesium were going out and I was like O Mg.

One day on the Tonight Show, Jay Leno showed a classified add that read: "Do you have mole problems? If so, call Avogadro at 602-1023."

We hope your year is very phosphorous.

:)

[MaddyMoore3A]

https://www.google.com/url?sa=i&rct=j&q ... 6102172171

a great electrochem joke!

[Sharlene Reyes 2N]

[Sarahi Garza 3k]

Valentine's Day is coming up...

[Helen 3C]

What kind of fish is made of only two sodium atoms?

2 Na

[Emily_Bloom_1I]

i have so many chemistry jokes


I'm just afraid they won't get a good reaction


*laughter

[Trisha Kurup 2A]

Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium? It went OK.

[Melanie Martinez 1K]

Why did the noble gas cry?

Because all his friends argon.

[Ace 3F]

Let's take all these bad Chemistry jokes........ and Barium! :P

[ibukunolabinjo_3J]

Q: Why don't they galvanize ships to prevent corrosion?
A: That would make them zinc.

[Aleena_Sorf_2A]

Q: Did you hear about the man who got cooled to absolute zero?
A: He's 0K now

[Anthony Cannizzaro 3J]

What do you do with a sick chemist?

Well if you can't helium, and you can't curium, you might as well barium.

[Srishti_Dhawan_2I]

Q: Anyone know any jokes about sodium?
A: Na

[Keitty_Calderon_1C]

[Ryan Petrecca 1L]

XD

[Abishek 3K]

[Krista Yang 1C]

H2O is water and H2O2 is hydrogen peroxide. What is H2O4? Drinking.