Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Silver walks up to Gold in a bar and says, "A U, get out of here!"
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
SHORT BUT SWEET...
How about the chemical workers… are they unionized?
How about the chemical workers… are they unionized?
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
What did the scientist say when he found 2 isotopes of helium?
He He
He He
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Why did Carbon marry Hydrogen?
They bonded well from the minute they met.
They bonded well from the minute they met.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Heisenberg and Schrödinger get pulled over for speeding.
The cop asks Heisenberg “Do you know how fast you were going?”
Heisenberg replies, “No, but we know exactly where we are!”
The officer looks at him confused and says “you were going 108 miles per hour!”
Heisenberg throws his arms up and cries, “Great! Now we’re lost!”
The officer looks over the car and asks Schrödinger if the two men have anything in the trunk.
"A cat," Schrödinger replies.
The cop opens the trunk and yells “Hey! This cat is dead.”
Schrödinger angrily replies, “Well he is now.”
The cop asks Heisenberg “Do you know how fast you were going?”
Heisenberg replies, “No, but we know exactly where we are!”
The officer looks at him confused and says “you were going 108 miles per hour!”
Heisenberg throws his arms up and cries, “Great! Now we’re lost!”
The officer looks over the car and asks Schrödinger if the two men have anything in the trunk.
"A cat," Schrödinger replies.
The cop opens the trunk and yells “Hey! This cat is dead.”
Schrödinger angrily replies, “Well he is now.”
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Why do chemists learn about ammonia first?
It's pretty basic stuff...
It's pretty basic stuff...
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
H2O is water and H2O2 is hydrogen peroxide. What is H2O4? Drinking.
This actually took me a second.
This actually took me a second.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
All of the chemistry jokes Argon... maybe I should Zinc of a new one.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
How I feel about midterms and finals
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
A neutron walks into a bar and asks how much for a beer?
The bartender says "For you, no charge"
The bartender says "For you, no charge"
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
I have many chemistry jokes.
I'm just afraid they won't get a good reaction.
I'm just afraid they won't get a good reaction.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Someone studying atoms is really just a bunch of atoms trying to understand themselves.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Is the glass half full or half empty?
Optimist: half full
Pessimist: half empty
Chemist: always full, half liquid half gas ;)
Optimist: half full
Pessimist: half empty
Chemist: always full, half liquid half gas ;)
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
What did iron say to gold when he stole his watch?
A-u! bring that back!
:))
A-u! bring that back!
:))
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
A photon checks into a hotel and is asked if he needs any help with his luggage. He says, "No, I'm traveling light."
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Why did the acid go to the gym?
To get buffer.
Two atoms were walking down the street one day, when one of them exclaimed. "Oh no - I've lost an electron!" "Are you sure?" the other one asked. "Yes," replied the first one, "I'm positive."
How do you pick out a dead battery from a pile of good ones?
It's got no spark!
To get buffer.
Two atoms were walking down the street one day, when one of them exclaimed. "Oh no - I've lost an electron!" "Are you sure?" the other one asked. "Yes," replied the first one, "I'm positive."
How do you pick out a dead battery from a pile of good ones?
It's got no spark!
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Q: What did the bartender say when oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium, and phosphorous walked into his bar?
A: OH SNaP!
A: OH SNaP!
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Q: What do you get when you mix polonium, titanium, oxygen, and nitrogen ?
A: A PoTiON
A: A PoTiON
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
If you're not part of the solution, you're part of the precipitate.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Q: Why did Carbon marry Hydrogen?
A: They bonded well from the minute they met.
A: They bonded well from the minute they met.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Titanium is a most amorous metal. When it gets hot, it'll combine with anything.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
What's a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?
-A ferrous wheel
-A ferrous wheel
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Q: What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?
A: A ferrous wheel:
Fe - Fe
/ \
Fe Fe
\ /
Fe - Fe
A: A ferrous wheel:
Fe - Fe
/ \
Fe Fe
\ /
Fe - Fe
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
In order to do well on this midterm, I have to start thinking like a proton.
Always positive.
Always positive.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Have you heard the one about a chemist who was reading a book about helium?
He just couldn't put it down.
He just couldn't put it down.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Did you know that you can cool yourself to -273.15˚C and still be 0k?
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
You must be made of Uranium and Iodine because all i see is U and I!
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Why did the white furry bear dissolve in water? Because it was polar.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Next time you want a lady to swoon say "bby you're full of berillium gold and titanium" Be Au Ti Full.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Only true scientists understand the following joke :)
On Valentine's Day a man got his wife elements. She was puzzled when she first saw them, only to think that it was out of his league to pull a stunt like this for her on this day. What elements were they you may ask? She saw them in the following order: Carbon, Hydrogen, Oxygen, Carbon, Oxygen, Lanthanum, and Tellerium.
(Hint: If you don't get it, look at their element/atomic symbol.)
On Valentine's Day a man got his wife elements. She was puzzled when she first saw them, only to think that it was out of his league to pull a stunt like this for her on this day. What elements were they you may ask? She saw them in the following order: Carbon, Hydrogen, Oxygen, Carbon, Oxygen, Lanthanum, and Tellerium.
(Hint: If you don't get it, look at their element/atomic symbol.)
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Jokes that go well together:
Q: Did you hear Oxygen went on a date with Potassium?
A: It went OK!
Q: How did Oxygen's second date with Potassium go?
A: It went OK2!
Q: Did you hear Oxygen went on a date with Potassium?
A: It went OK!
Q: How did Oxygen's second date with Potassium go?
A: It went OK2!
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
A neutron walks into a bar. He asks the bartender, "How much for a beer?" The bartender offers him a warm smile and says, "For you, no charge".
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
cats and science are my life
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
here is a joke
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
I heard that Oxygen and Magnesium were going out and I was like O Mg.
One day on the Tonight Show, Jay Leno showed a classified add that read: "Do you have mole problems? If so, call Avogadro at 602-1023."
We hope your year is very phosphorous.
:)
One day on the Tonight Show, Jay Leno showed a classified add that read: "Do you have mole problems? If so, call Avogadro at 602-1023."
We hope your year is very phosphorous.
:)
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
i have so many chemistry jokes
I'm just afraid they won't get a good reaction
*laughter
I'm just afraid they won't get a good reaction
*laughter
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Q: Why don't they galvanize ships to prevent corrosion?
A: That would make them zinc.
A: That would make them zinc.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Q: Did you hear about the man who got cooled to absolute zero?
A: He's 0K now
A: He's 0K now
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
What do you do with a sick chemist?
Well if you can't helium, and you can't curium, you might as well barium.
Well if you can't helium, and you can't curium, you might as well barium.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
H2O is water and H2O2 is hydrogen peroxide. What is H2O4? Drinking.
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