Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Moderators: Chem_Mod, Chem_Admin
-
- Posts: 24
- Joined: Wed Sep 21, 2016 2:58 pm
-
- Posts: 10
- Joined: Wed Nov 18, 2015 3:00 am
-
- Posts: 15
- Joined: Wed Sep 21, 2016 2:57 pm
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
For those that will be taking the chemistry lab next quarter
- Attachments
-
- images.jpg (11.65 KiB) Viewed 13669 times
-
- Posts: 20
- Joined: Sat Jul 09, 2016 3:00 am
-
- Posts: 17
- Joined: Fri Jul 15, 2016 3:00 am
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
One time, I worked in an electrochemistry lab. My advisor told me that I had great potential.
-
- Posts: 20
- Joined: Wed Sep 21, 2016 2:57 pm
-
- Posts: 4
- Joined: Fri Jun 17, 2016 11:28 am
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Q: What do you get when you mix sulfur, tungsten, and silver?
A: SWAG
A: SWAG
-
- Posts: 16
- Joined: Wed Sep 21, 2016 2:57 pm
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
ORGANIC CHEMISTRY IS DIFFICULT; THOSE WHO STUDY IT HAVE AlKYNES OF TROUBLE (so I've heard at least)
...ACID WHAT YOU DID THERE
HAHA
...ACID WHAT YOU DID THERE
HAHA
Last edited by Jessica_Nakahira_1G on Mon Feb 13, 2017 5:45 am, edited 1 time in total.
-
- Posts: 8
- Joined: Fri Jul 15, 2016 3:00 am
-
- Posts: 34
- Joined: Fri Sep 30, 2016 3:02 am
-
- Posts: 25
- Joined: Wed Sep 21, 2016 2:59 pm
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
A photon checks into a hotel and is asked if he needs any help with his luggage. He says, "No, I'm traveling light."
-
- Posts: 7
- Joined: Fri Jun 17, 2016 11:28 am
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Q: What is the show cesium and iodine love watching together?
A: CSI
A: CSI
-
- Posts: 12
- Joined: Wed Sep 21, 2016 2:56 pm
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Horrible Pick Up Line:
"Hey girl, has anyone ever said you are Copper-Tellurium?"
(CuTe)
"Hey girl, has anyone ever said you are Copper-Tellurium?"
(CuTe)
-
- Posts: 22
- Joined: Wed Sep 21, 2016 3:00 pm
-
- Posts: 10
- Joined: Wed Sep 21, 2016 2:55 pm
-
- Posts: 18
- Joined: Sat Jul 09, 2016 3:00 am
-
- Posts: 9
- Joined: Wed Sep 21, 2016 2:57 pm
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
I was gonna tell you a chemistry joke...but all my good ones are Argon.
-
- Posts: 13
- Joined: Wed Sep 21, 2016 2:57 pm
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
How I feel when doing the homework.
- Attachments
-
- tumblr_ljg0zfditn1qdyovpo1_400.jpg (30.44 KiB) Viewed 13665 times
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Q: Why did Carbon marry Hydrogen?
A: They bonded well from the minute they met!
A: They bonded well from the minute they met!
-
- Posts: 11
- Joined: Wed Sep 21, 2016 2:56 pm
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
I feel like the older models of phones lack the potential to do well on today's market. After all, their battery life is barely a fraction of their newer counterparts'.
-
- Posts: 10
- Joined: Wed Sep 21, 2016 2:55 pm
-
- Posts: 19
- Joined: Fri Jul 22, 2016 3:00 am
- Been upvoted: 1 time
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Have you heard the one about a chemist who was reading a book about helium?
He just couldn't put it down.
He just couldn't put it down.
-
- Posts: 11
- Joined: Wed Sep 21, 2016 2:55 pm
-
- Posts: 7
- Joined: Wed Sep 28, 2016 3:00 am
-
- Posts: 18
- Joined: Wed Sep 21, 2016 2:56 pm
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
A neutron walks into a bar. He asks the bartender, "How much for a beer?" The bartender offers him a smile and says, "For you, no charge".
-
- Posts: 15
- Joined: Fri Oct 07, 2016 3:02 am
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
You Must Be Made Of Uranium And Iodine
Because all I can see is U and I
Because all I can see is U and I
-
- Posts: 3
- Joined: Wed Sep 21, 2016 2:58 pm
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
What do you call a tooth in a glass of water?
A one molar solution.
A one molar solution.
-
- Posts: 11
- Joined: Sat Jul 09, 2016 3:00 am
-
- Posts: 9
- Joined: Wed Sep 21, 2016 2:58 pm
-
- Posts: 9
- Joined: Wed Sep 21, 2016 2:55 pm
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
I forgot to make my chemistry community post before midnight, but maybe if my joke is pure gold, the TAs will be Ausome and give me credit anyways
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
The one thing Skrillex learned in chemistry was how to drop the base.
-
- Posts: 11
- Joined: Wed Sep 21, 2016 2:55 pm
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Q: Superman is a man. Batman is a man. Spiderman is a man. So why is Ironman a woman?
A: Because she is a Female.
A: Because she is a Female.
-
- Posts: 21
- Joined: Wed Sep 21, 2016 2:59 pm
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Did you know that you can cool yourself to -273.15˚C and still be 0k?
-
- Posts: 21
- Joined: Wed Sep 21, 2016 2:59 pm
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
H2O is water and H2O2 is hydrogen peroxide. What is H2O4?
Drinking.
Drinking.
-
- Posts: 21
- Joined: Wed Sep 21, 2016 2:59 pm
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Have you heard the one about a chemist who was reading a book about helium?
He just couldn't put it down.
He just couldn't put it down.
-
- Posts: 24
- Joined: Wed Sep 21, 2016 2:57 pm
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Q: Did you hear about the man who got cooled to absolute zero?
A: He's 0K now
A: He's 0K now
-
- Posts: 12
- Joined: Wed Sep 21, 2016 2:57 pm
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Why do chemists like nitrates so much?
They're cheaper than day rates.
They're cheaper than day rates.
-
- Posts: 30
- Joined: Wed Sep 21, 2016 2:56 pm
-
- Posts: 5
- Joined: Wed Nov 18, 2015 3:00 am
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
A bear from Montana and a bear from Alaska fall into the water at the same time. Which dissolves faster?
The one from Alaska- he's a polar bear.
The one from Alaska- he's a polar bear.
-
- Posts: 5
- Joined: Wed Nov 18, 2015 3:00 am
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
A small piece of sodium that lived in a test tube fell in love with a Bunsen burner, "Oh Bunsen, my flame," the sodium pined. "I melt whenever I see you!" The Bunsen burner replied, "It's just a phase you're going through."
-
- Posts: 20
- Joined: Wed Sep 21, 2016 3:00 pm
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Light travels faster than sound.... That's why some people appear bright until they speak
-
- Posts: 16
- Joined: Sat Jul 09, 2016 3:00 am
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
The optimist sees the glass half full. The pessimist sees the glass half empty. The chemist sees the glass completely full, half with liquid and half with air.
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Q: What do you do with a sick chemist?
A. First you try to helium, then you try to curium, but if this fails then you have to barium.
A. First you try to helium, then you try to curium, but if this fails then you have to barium.
-
- Posts: 13
- Joined: Fri Jun 17, 2016 11:28 am
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Organic chemistry is difficult. Those who study it have alkynes of trouble.
-
- Posts: 17
- Joined: Fri Jul 22, 2016 3:00 am
-
- Posts: 22
- Joined: Wed Sep 21, 2016 2:58 pm
-
- Posts: 27
- Joined: Wed Sep 21, 2016 2:56 pm
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
With Valentine's Day coming up...
Are you made of uranium and iodine? Because all I can see is U and I!
Are you made of uranium and iodine? Because all I can see is U and I!
-
- Posts: 9
- Joined: Wed Sep 21, 2016 2:55 pm
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Did you know that you can cool yourself to -273.15˚C and still be 0k?
-
- Posts: 22
- Joined: Wed Sep 21, 2016 2:59 pm
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
What did the thermometer say to the graduated cylinder?
"You may have graduated, but I have many degrees."
"You may have graduated, but I have many degrees."
-
- Posts: 18
- Joined: Fri Jul 15, 2016 3:00 am
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Q:What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?
A: A ferrous wheel
A: A ferrous wheel
-
- Posts: 22
- Joined: Wed Sep 21, 2016 2:57 pm
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
You are a photon quanta to my valence electron. You excite me to a higher energy level.
-
- Posts: 34
- Joined: Wed Sep 21, 2016 2:57 pm
-
- Posts: 12
- Joined: Wed Sep 21, 2016 2:55 pm
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
You must be made with a beryllium and barium compounds because you are such a BaBe!
-
- Posts: 14
- Joined: Fri Jul 22, 2016 3:00 am
-
- Posts: 19
- Joined: Wed Sep 21, 2016 2:56 pm
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
In a sports relay race, a chemical kinetics specialist runs slowly, and his group loses the race.
When the chemical kinetics specialist is asked why he ran slowly, his reply was “I always wanted to be the significant rate determining step”.
When the chemical kinetics specialist is asked why he ran slowly, his reply was “I always wanted to be the significant rate determining step”.
-
- Posts: 18
- Joined: Wed Sep 21, 2016 2:58 pm
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
I asked the guy sitting next to me if he had any Sodium Hypobromite…
He said NaBrO
He said NaBrO
-
- Posts: 19
- Joined: Wed Sep 21, 2016 2:57 pm
-
- Posts: 24
- Joined: Wed Sep 21, 2016 2:56 pm
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Q: What did the chemist snack on during lunch?
A: A 'gram' cracker.
A: A 'gram' cracker.
-
- Posts: 13
- Joined: Fri Jul 15, 2016 3:00 am
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
A galvanic cell says to another galvanic call: "We're meant to be because our relationship is electric."
-
- Posts: 12
- Joined: Fri Jul 15, 2016 3:00 am
-
- Posts: 9
- Joined: Fri Jul 22, 2016 3:00 am
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Q: Did you hear about the man who got cooled to absolute zero?
A: He's 0K now.
A: He's 0K now.
-
- Posts: 9
- Joined: Wed Sep 21, 2016 3:00 pm
-
- Posts: 14
- Joined: Wed Sep 21, 2016 2:55 pm
-
- Posts: 18
- Joined: Fri Sep 25, 2015 3:00 am
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
What is a chemist's favorite noodle soup?
PhosphorousHydrogenOxygen
PhosphorousHydrogenOxygen
-
- Posts: 17
- Joined: Wed Sep 21, 2016 2:59 pm
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Little Willie was a chemist. Little Willie is no more. What he thought was H2O was H2SO4.
-
- Posts: 22
- Joined: Wed Sep 21, 2016 3:00 pm
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
One day on the Tonight Show, Jay Leno showed a classified add that read: "Do you have mole problems? If so, call Avogadro at 602-1023."
-
- Posts: 10
- Joined: Fri Jul 15, 2016 3:00 am
-
- Posts: 16
- Joined: Fri Jul 15, 2016 3:00 am
- Been upvoted: 1 time
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Why are chemists so great at solving problems?
Because they have all the solutions!
Because they have all the solutions!
-
- Posts: 12
- Joined: Fri Jul 22, 2016 3:00 am
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Chem Joke
- Attachments
-
- Chem Joke
- tumblr_ljg0zfditn1qdyovpo1_400.jpg (30.44 KiB) Viewed 13632 times
-
- Posts: 19
- Joined: Wed Sep 21, 2016 3:00 pm
-
- Posts: 10
- Joined: Wed Sep 21, 2016 2:57 pm
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
A chemistry teacher was berating the students for not learning the Periodic Table of the Elements. She said, "Why when I was your age I knew both their names and weights." One kid popped up, "Yeah, but teach, there were so few of them back then.
-
- Posts: 12
- Joined: Wed Sep 21, 2016 2:55 pm
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Someone asked if I knew any Sodium Hypobromite jokes. I just told them Na BrO.
-
- Posts: 11
- Joined: Fri Jul 22, 2016 3:00 am
-
- Posts: 11
- Joined: Wed Sep 21, 2016 2:59 pm
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Chemistry. More like cheMYSTERY because sometimes I have no idea what's going on.
-
- Posts: 11
- Joined: Wed Nov 18, 2015 3:00 am
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Two men walk into a restaurant and order drinks. The first man says "I'll have an H2O please." The second man says "I'll have an H2O too."
The second man died.
The second man died.
-
- Posts: 16
- Joined: Wed Sep 21, 2016 2:57 pm
-
- Posts: 26
- Joined: Wed Sep 21, 2016 2:56 pm
- Been upvoted: 1 time
-
- Posts: 4
- Joined: Wed Sep 21, 2016 3:00 pm
-
- Posts: 20
- Joined: Wed Sep 21, 2016 2:57 pm
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Chemistry student: Great news, teacher says we have an chemistry midterm today come rain or shine.
Classmate: So what's so great about that?
Chemistry student: It's snowing outside!
Classmate: So what's so great about that?
Chemistry student: It's snowing outside!
-
- Posts: 21
- Joined: Fri Jul 15, 2016 3:00 am
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Why did the bear dissolve in the water?
Because he was a polar bear.
Because he was a polar bear.
-
- Posts: 10
- Joined: Wed Sep 21, 2016 2:58 pm
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
In honor of Valentines day:
Q: Why was the mole of oxygen molecules excited when he walked out of the singles bar?
A: He got Avogadro's number!
Q: Why was the mole of oxygen molecules excited when he walked out of the singles bar?
A: He got Avogadro's number!
-
- Posts: 34
- Joined: Wed Sep 21, 2016 2:59 pm
- Been upvoted: 1 time
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
"Oh my gosh! I've lost my neutron"
"It's okay, you can get a new one free of charge"
"It's okay, you can get a new one free of charge"
-
- Posts: 11
- Joined: Wed Sep 21, 2016 2:55 pm
-
- Posts: 15
- Joined: Wed Sep 21, 2016 2:56 pm
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
You must be a compound of barium and beryllium because you're a total BaBe.
Happy Valentines Day
Happy Valentines Day
-
- Posts: 10
- Joined: Sat Jul 09, 2016 3:00 am
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
What substance has the formula HIJKLMNO? Water.
Got mole problems? Call Avogadro at 602-1023
Got mole problems? Call Avogadro at 602-1023
-
- Posts: 26
- Joined: Tue Jul 12, 2016 3:00 am
-
- Posts: 21
- Joined: Fri Jul 15, 2016 3:00 am
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Why do chemist like nitrates so much? Because it's cheaper than day rates.
Return to “Student Social/Study Group”
Who is online
Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 34 guests