Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

[Julianne Seog 3K]

Why did the bear dissolve in water?
Because it was a polar bear!

[Matthew Yeganeh 3M]

[Ian Brown 1K]

Old chemists never die, they just stop reacting.

[Brian_Mena_1J]

For those that will be taking the chemistry lab next quarter

[Susanne_Taavitsa_2J]

Since Valentine's Day is coming up...

[Anya_Alag_3J]

One time, I worked in an electrochemistry lab. My advisor told me that I had great potential.

[Tyler_Vellozzi_3E]

What kind of fish is only made of two sodium atoms?
2 Na

[Austin Gee 2N]

What is a cation afraid of? A dogion.

[Jenny2G]

Q: What do you get when you mix sulfur, tungsten, and silver?
A: SWAG

[Jessica_Nakahira_1G]

ORGANIC CHEMISTRY IS DIFFICULT; THOSE WHO STUDY IT HAVE AlKYNES OF TROUBLE (so I've heard at least)

...ACID WHAT YOU DID THERE

HAHA

[Harmeet_Kaur_2D]

If the Silver Surfer and Iron Man team up... they'd be alloys.

[Josh_Zhong_1F]

Q: What do you do with a dead chemist?
A: Barium

[Madeline Fox 2B]

A photon checks into a hotel and is asked if he needs any help with his luggage. He says, "No, I'm traveling light."

[Grace Pu 3E]

Q: What is the show cesium and iodine love watching together?

A: CSI

[Jaz_Y_1H]

[ryan_chowdhury_2E]

Horrible Pick Up Line:
"Hey girl, has anyone ever said you are Copper-Tellurium?"
(CuTe)

[Yesenia Munoz 1G]

I was going to make a joke about sodium and hydrogen but NaH

[Zhiyong Xie 3K]

What don't you understand about copper? It makes perfect CENTS!

[Aaron_Trell_2J]

Q: Anyone know any jokes about sodium? A: Na

[Chris Yeh 3D]

I was gonna tell you a chemistry joke...but all my good ones are Argon.

[Rory_Grant_3E]

How I feel when doing the homework.

[Terry1A]

Q: Why did Carbon marry Hydrogen?
A: They bonded well from the minute they met!

[Andrew Zhong 2H]

I feel like the older models of phones lack the potential to do well on today's market. After all, their battery life is barely a fraction of their newer counterparts'.

[Kimberly_Hernandez_3L]

Lab Closed, Gone Fission

[TiengTum2D]

Have you heard the one about a chemist who was reading a book about helium?

He just couldn't put it down.

[Frank_Smith_3L]

What is Santa's favorite element? Holmium holmium holmium!!!!!

[Camille_2G]

[harseerat_jajj_3G]

another great joke!

[Anthony_Sampayo_4I]

A neutron walks into a bar. He asks the bartender, "How much for a beer?" The bartender offers him a smile and says, "For you, no charge".

[Maverick Tan 1F]

You Must Be Made Of Uranium And Iodine


Because all I can see is U and I

[Tyler_Honrada_1L]

[Vivian Tan 3F]

[ahlam_ahmed_1d]

What do you call a tooth in a glass of water?

A one molar solution.

[saminah_adam]

Mercedes Benz

[Asha_Isse_1N]

Making bad chemistry jokes because all the good ones Argon

[Chaoyi_He_3H]

[Ethan_Wilson_1E]

I forgot to make my chemistry community post before midnight, but maybe if my joke is pure gold, the TAs will be Ausome and give me credit anyways

[204639491]

The one thing Skrillex learned in chemistry was how to drop the base.

[julia lai 3A]

Q: Superman is a man. Batman is a man. Spiderman is a man. So why is Ironman a woman?
A: Because she is a Female.

[Rachel Caprini 1E]

Did you know that you can cool yourself to -273.15˚C and still be 0k?

[Rachel Caprini 1E]

H2O is water and H2O2 is hydrogen peroxide. What is H2O4?
Drinking.

[Rachel Caprini 1E]

Have you heard the one about a chemist who was reading a book about helium?
He just couldn't put it down.

[Rachelle_Stark_3H]

Q: Did you hear about the man who got cooled to absolute zero?
A: He's 0K now

[helen_bui_2G]

Why do chemists like nitrates so much?
They're cheaper than day rates.

[Theresa_Trieu_2G]

[Ting Zheng 3L]

What do hungry chemists eat?

Gram (Graham) crackers!

[Gonzalez_Liliana_1K]

A bear from Montana and a bear from Alaska fall into the water at the same time. Which dissolves faster?

The one from Alaska- he's a polar bear.

[Gonzalez_Liliana_1K]

A small piece of sodium that lived in a test tube fell in love with a Bunsen burner, "Oh Bunsen, my flame," the sodium pined. "I melt whenever I see you!" The Bunsen burner replied, "It's just a phase you're going through."

[Makenna Vulgas 1G]

Light travels faster than sound.... That's why some people appear bright until they speak

[Amy_Dixon_1I]

The optimist sees the glass half full. The pessimist sees the glass half empty. The chemist sees the glass completely full, half with liquid and half with air.

[kgiesch1N]

What is a cation afraid of? A dog-ion!

[kgiesch1N]

Q: What do you do with a sick chemist?
A. First you try to helium, then you try to curium, but if this fails then you have to barium.

[Jasmine_Wong_2K]

Organic chemistry is difficult. Those who study it have alkynes of trouble.

[Kevin Le 1L]

I need 2... moles.. one for plug and one for the load

[Tiffany Jeng 1L]

(b/c Argon is a noble gas looooool)

[paulapedrani]

With Valentine's Day coming up...

Are you made of uranium and iodine? Because all I can see is U and I!

[Neha Nibber 3H]

Did you know that you can cool yourself to -273.15˚C and still be 0k?

[Kaitlin_Reeves_1C]

What did the thermometer say to the graduated cylinder?
"You may have graduated, but I have many degrees."

[Ashley T 2H]

Q:What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?
A: A ferrous wheel

[Katrina_Galian 1J]

You are a photon quanta to my valence electron. You excite me to a higher energy level.

[Lindsey Lill]

I don't trust atoms... I heard they make up everything.

[maria_tamondong_1L]

You must be made with a beryllium and barium compounds because you are such a BaBe!

[Zaamin Khwaja 3D]

[Cindy Ngo 1E]

Did you know that oxygen went on a date with potassium?
It went OK

[Mimi_Giang_1F]

In a sports relay race, a chemical kinetics specialist runs slowly, and his group loses the race.

When the chemical kinetics specialist is asked why he ran slowly, his reply was “I always wanted to be the significant rate determining step”.

[Evan Lee 2D]

I asked the guy sitting next to me if he had any Sodium Hypobromite…


He said NaBrO

[Teresa_Duarte_3K]

[Adam Perez]

[Kiana_Shibata_2G]

Q: What did the chemist snack on during lunch?
A: A 'gram' cracker.

[regina_ho_3A]

A galvanic cell says to another galvanic call: "We're meant to be because our relationship is electric."

[alliedavis]

[StephZou_2G]

What kind of fish is made out of 2 Sodium atoms?
2Na

[Melissa Van Pell 2I]

Q: Did you hear about the man who got cooled to absolute zero?
A: He's 0K now.

[ChristinaN1L]

Once I told a chemistry joke,
there was no reaction...

[Timothy_Hyun_2K]

Oxygen and Potassium?

They're OK. Nothing special.

[Alice Jung 1C]

What is a chemist's favorite noodle soup?

PhosphorousHydrogenOxygen

[Kevin Bangi 1A]

Little Willie was a chemist. Little Willie is no more. What he thought was H2O was H2SO4.

[Alex Phu 2c]

One day on the Tonight Show, Jay Leno showed a classified add that read: "Do you have mole problems? If so, call Avogadro at 602-1023."

[yubin moon 3c]

forget hydrogen, you're my number one element!

[Calvin Huang 3D]

Why are chemists so great at solving problems?

Because they have all the solutions!

[Jonathan_Hu_2C]

Chem Joke

[Emily_Bennett_3C]

What did one titration tell another? Let's meet at the endpoint.

[Libbyfidel_1E]

A chemistry teacher was berating the students for not learning the Periodic Table of the Elements. She said, "Why when I was your age I knew both their names and weights." One kid popped up, "Yeah, but teach, there were so few of them back then.

[Michelle Lin 3M]

Someone asked if I knew any Sodium Hypobromite jokes. I just told them Na BrO.

[Sahil Sharma 2J]

What kind of fish is made out of 2 sodium ions?

2 NA

[Selina_Han_3I]

Chemistry. More like cheMYSTERY because sometimes I have no idea what's going on.

[Evan Gentry 2E]

Two men walk into a restaurant and order drinks. The first man says "I'll have an H2O please." The second man says "I'll have an H2O too."
The second man died.

[Jessica_Nakahira_1G]

I thought this was fitting

[Aileen Nguyen 3N]

Happy Valentine's Day!

[Nathan_Summers_2B]

Q: What do you do with a dead scientist?
A: Barium!

[Kendall_Islam_3A]

Chemistry student: Great news, teacher says we have an chemistry midterm today come rain or shine.
Classmate: So what's so great about that?
Chemistry student: It's snowing outside!

[Raymond_Guan_1H]

Why did the bear dissolve in the water?

Because he was a polar bear.

[Chris Liddicoat]

In honor of Valentines day:

Q: Why was the mole of oxygen molecules excited when he walked out of the singles bar?
A: He got Avogadro's number!

[divya_devineni_2E]

"Oh my gosh! I've lost my neutron"
"It's okay, you can get a new one free of charge"

[F Rios 3E]

[Valeria Quintana 1G]

In honor of Valentine's Day

[marinarosebrock]

You must be a compound of barium and beryllium because you're a total BaBe.
Happy Valentines Day

[Jessica_Chang_1G]

What substance has the formula HIJKLMNO? Water.

Got mole problems? Call Avogadro at 602-1023

[Vista_Farkhondeh_3O]

Happy Valentine's Day Everyone!

[Raymond_Guan_1H]

Why do chemist like nitrates so much? Because it's cheaper than day rates.