Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

[JoAnna Yortiss 2G]

[AndyL3I]

What is the chemical formula for "banana"?

BaNa2

[Eljie_2F]

Happy Valentine's day

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[Arielle 1I]

[Frankie Escobedo 3E]

Have you heard the one about a chemist who was reading a book about helium?

He just couldn't put it down. :)

[caitlin_oberman_2G]

I wish your name was Avogadro..... because then I'd already have your number...... 6.02 x 10^23

[Samart_Condon_1D]

According to a chemist, why is the world so diverse? Because it's made up of alkynes of people.

[Julia Stinnett 2N]

When I heard that Oxygen and Magnesium were dating I was like O Mg!!!

[Michael_Zhang_1J]

This joke is a-bismuth!

[Nikhita_Jaaswal_2H]

The best thing about learning about equilibrium... is that nothing changes!

[Jason_Hong_2J]

If H2O is the formula for water, what is the formula for ice?

H2O cubed

[Janet Pham 1B]

Excluding this joke

[Sonia_Lele_2K]

Q: What do you call Iron blowing in the wind?

A: Febreeze

[Greta Tobin 2F]

What do you call a fish made of two sodiums?

Answer: 2na

[Greta Tobin 2F]

What do you do with a sick chemist?

Answer: You try to Helium, you try to Curium, but if all else fails you have to Barium

[Joanne_Park_4C]

[Kelly Ortega 1K]

Q: Why did the bear dissolve in water?
A: Because he was a polar bear!

[SarahTian3k]

johnny was a chemist
johnny is no more
what johnny thought was h2o was h2so4

[Leo_Navejas_3B]

Q:What do you call an acid with an attitude?



A: A-mean-oh acid

[a_jeny2E]

technically alcohol is a solution

[Natalie_Hardiman_3C]

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[Susanne_Taavitsa_2J]

When thermodynamics gets fashionable: Kelvin Klein.

[kane_jajieh_3F]

A bear from the U.S. named Joe invites his cousin from Antarctica, Jeff, to go swimming.
They both jump in the pool, but Jeff starts freaking because he thinks he's dissolving.
Joe tells Jeff, "calm down bears are insoluble you're fine"
and Jeff replies, "easy for you to say, you're not polar!"

[804748473]

Want to hear a joke about sodium?
Na.

[Odel Zadeh_2C]

If the Silver Surfer and Iron Man team up, they'd be alloys

[Andrew Nguyen 3O]

Q. How often do I like jokes about Chemistry?

A. Periodically.

[Eliza_Beglari_2L]

Q: Why was the mole of oxygen molecules excited when he left the singles bar?
A: He got Avogadro's number!

[Jason Duong 1D]

How often do I tell chemistry joke...

PERIODICALLY

[Pauline Tze 3B]

When you accept that you won't know for sure if you solved an entropy problem correctly:

[Sakina_Qadir_3K]

In a sports relay race, a chemical kinetics specialist runs slowly, and his group loses the race.

When the chemical kinetics specialist is asked why he ran slowly, his reply was “I always wanted to be the significant rate determining step”.

[Myra Kurani 1L]

I wanted to tell you a joke about the elements but all the good ones Argon

[Jocelyn_Limas_2G]

" Bro 1: Hey do you want to hear a joke about Sodium Hypobromite?
Bro 1: NaBrO
Bro 2: I slapped my neon that one! "

[Daniel Rivas 1F]

Did you hear about the man who was cooled to -273.15˚C? He was 0K.

[Daniel Rivas 1F]

A man was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car.
He was booked for a salt and battery.

[Daniel Rivas 1F]

"Sodium, sodium, sodium, sodium, sodium, sodium, sodium, sodium, sodium,
sodium, sodium, sodium, sodium, sodium, sodium, sodium, sodium, sodium, sodium."

-Blink 182, All the Small Things

[Balint Nagy 3C]

Why do chemists enjoy working with ammonia?
Because it's pretty basic stuff.

[Christian Hardoy 3F]

Q: If a mole of moles were digging a mole of holes, what would you see?
A: A mole of molasses.

[Christian Hardoy 3F]

Q: What is the dullest element?
A: Bohrium

[Natalie_Hardiman_3C]

[Gabriela_2E]

The optimist sees the glass half full. The pessimist sees the glass half empty. The chemist sees the glass completely full, half with liquid and half with air.

[stuart_key_3E]

Two atoms walk down the street. One turns to the other, "I think I just lost an eletron." The other asks, "Are you sure?" The first atom said, "Sure! I'm positive !"

[Jennifer_Yee_3I]

What did the cow say to molybdenum and oxygen?
MoO

[isabella_orteza_1I]

Q: Anyone know any jokes about sodium?
A: Na

[Lauren Wong 3K]

Q: What did the thermometer say to the graduated cylinder?
A: You may have graduated but I've got many degrees.

[Taylor_Yamane_2L]

a little late but in the spirit of valentines day

[Nick_Ida 1D]

What fruit contains Barium and double Sodium?
BaNaNa's! :D

[Park_DoHy_2F]

Why do chemist learn about ammonia first?

BECAUSE ITS PRETTY BASIC STUFF

[Katherine Sung 2I]

Do you have eleven protons?

Because you're sodium fine.

[ssoroush 2B]

[Tara_Hekmati_3B]

Want to hear a joke about nitric oxide?
*(yeah I do)*
NO

[melissasandoval2O]

When people unknowably become subshells

[Mirian_Garcia_2G]

[Ashley_Lok_3M]

[Jeffrey_Huang_2K]

[Simran Brar 1J]

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[gracehart]

[David Julfayan 1F]

[004583503_Lupe2E]

Here's a meme for ya'll

[Toby Lin 1J]

[Matthew_Vargas_2G]

[Natalie_Boyd_1C]

[Ting Zheng 3L]

Is silicon the same in Spanish?

Si

[heather_carlton_1K]

Do you have 11 protons? Cause you're sodium fine! ;)

[Ivy Kwok 2I]

You shouldn't drink water when studying because adding water to your system decreases concentration!

[Karina Amezcua 1L]

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[ckim_1I]

When you graduate with a degree but life just doesn't work out sometimes

[Gus_Guinto_2F]

[Gus_Guinto_2F]

[Josh_Zhong_1F]

Q: Why does hamburger yield lower energy than steak?
A: Because it's in the ground state.

[Alexandria_Leaf_2F]

In a sports relay race, a chemical kinetics specialist runs slowly, and his group loses the race.

When the chemical kinetics specialist is asked why he ran slowly, his reply was “I always wanted to be the significant rate determining step”

[MichelleCarter_1F]

Silver walks up to Gold in a bar and says, "AU, get outta here!"

[Sandy_Kim_1K]

If Silver Surfer and Iron Man teamed up, they'd be alloys

[arsalzaheer2L]

What is cesium and Iodine's favorite TV show?

CSI

[Trisha Agarwal 1O]

[Melissa Ledesma 2B]

If you need help remembering:)

[AngelaWang_1F]

dont trust atoms. They make up everything

[Amanda_Quintero_1K]

Q: What did the scientist say when he found 2 isotopes of helium?
A: HeHe

[Jasleen Kaur 1J]

How often do I post chemistry jokes?
Periodically.

[Zara_Joshi_3L]

That midterm tho

[Nikhil_Madan_3C]

[Kirsten Bermudo 1O]

Q: What do physicists enjoy doing most at sporting events?
A: The wave.

[Simon Kapler 3I]

Did you know that you can cool yourself to -273.15˚C and still be 0k?

[Jorge_Escobar_3L]

Everyone: "Wow that midterm was really chaotic! It was all over the place!!!"
Dr. Lavelle: "You could say it's entropy was pretty high huh ;)"

[rachel_john]

What do you call a tooth in a glass of water?
One molar solution!

[Lillian_Lai_1K]

Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium?

It went OK.

[Nathan Mallipeddi 2H]

Don't trust atoms, they make up everything.

[Irene Ramos 1F]

Anything can happen!

[Pratyush Kandimalla 2O]

I have many chemistry jokes.
....
I'm just afraid they won't get a good Reaction.

[Pratyush Kandimalla 2O]

Chemistry Lab.

[Felicia Zhang 2J]

What was the charge when NaCl was arrested?

A Salt.

[Kelly Tran 3N]

[Precious_Li_1D]

Chemists are bad at telling jokes.... They lack the element of surprise.

[Anisha Patel 1G]

What did the chemist snack on during lunch?
A "gram" cracker!

[Cindy Ngo 1E]

Helium walks into a bar,
The bar tender says "We don't serve noble gasses in here."
Helium doesn't react.

[Anika_Desar_3N]

HAHA

[Raj Susarla 3I]

So that's what 'graduated' means!

[SydneyKusumoputro_3K]

[alvitaxiao]

What do you call a snake that is 3.14 meters long?

A πthon

[Alexander Chen 3N]

Did you hear about the man who got cooled to absolute zero?

He's 0K now.

[Philline_Tumbaga_1F]