Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

[Philline_Tumbaga_1F]

Since it's love month, here's a pickup line you could use. lol

[Elle_Bertuccelli_1B]

What do you do with a sick chemist?

If you can't helium, and you can't curium, then you might as well barium

[Paola_RubioRod_1F]

Two electrons are sitting in a jail cell.
One asks, "What are you in for?"
The other replies, "For attempting a forbidden transition."

[rielapopp3O]

Don't ever get a chemist angry. They'll overreact!

[804780590]

This page needs to

[sheilaho_1E]

Here is a historical note: In the 1980's, in an effort to increase public awareness about the importance of chemistry, the American Chemical Society posted billboards with a picture of C6H10 and the title, "It takes alkynes to make a world."

[Lindsey Lill]

Did you hear about the man who got cooled to absolute zero?

He's 0K now.

[Lyndon_Bui_3J]

What do you call an acid with an attitude?

A-mean-oh acid!

[Lei Wena Herme 1O]

A small piece of sodium that lived in a test tube fell in love with a Bunsen burner.
"Oh Bunsen, my flame," the sodium pined.
"I melt whenever I see you," The Bunsen burner replied, "It's just a phase you're going through."

[StevenBieneman_3K]

If H2O is water, what is H2O4?

Drinking, swimming, showering, etc.

[004599434]

Want to hear a joke about sodium hypobromite?
NaBrO

[Rory_Grant_3E]

I thought this one was pretty good.

[Katelyn Li 2J]

Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium? It went OK.

[DhirajR_3F]

How often do I tell Chemistry jokes?




Periodically!

[KoSiOg]

I told a chemistry joke...

There was no reaction!

[Tiffany Jeng 1L]

A photon checks into a hotel and is asked if he needs any help with his luggage. He says, "No, I'm traveling light."

[Vagarshak 2C]

[Morgan_McMasters_3A]

Two chemists go into a bar. The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O." The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" — and he died.

[Justin_Bueno_2O]

Chem

[ryan_chowdhury_2E]

Have you heard Enthalpy's new mixtape "Constant Pressure"? They say it's pure heat.

[christy_zambrano_2E]

too cute!

[Franklin Kong 3D]

A student is very late to his chemistry lab class, arriving when there are only 5 minutes left. Realizing he won't have time to complete the lab, which involves looking at a sample of water under a microscope and recording observations, the student scribbles in his notebook "I saw twice as many H's as I did O's."

[604805638]

DJ Enzyme!

[Jenny_Thompson_3I]

"Did you know that you can cool yourself to -273.15˚C and still be 0k?"

"Helium walks into a bar,
The bartender says "We don't serve noble gasses in here."
Helium doesn't react."

"The optimist sees the glass half full.
The pessimist sees the glass half empty.
The chemist sees the glass completely full, half in the liquid state and half in the vapor state."

[Katherine_Ly_1H]

What do you call a tooth in a glass of water?

A one molar solution.

[Anmol Dhaliwal 2C]

Q: Why do chemistry students do well when working with ammonia?
A: Because it's pretty basic stuff.

[Bola_G_3H]

If the Silver Surfer and Iron Man team up, they’d be alloys.

[Yamilex Velgara 2I]

Since Valentine's Day just passed

[Victoria Vu 3L]

I'm not ready to learn organic chemistry yet.
I'm sure I'll run into alkynes of problems.

[F Rios 3E]

[Samantha_Leong_3K]

[Zhiyong Xie 3K]

[Milan Hirpara 3K]

Q: Oxygen and Potassium went on a date. How do you think it went?
A: OK!

[Chin_Alyssa_3I]

I want to post a joke, but all the good ones Ar (Argon)

[JulieLy_3C]

[Alice Gonzalez 2F]

A neutron walks into a bar and asks for a drink. The bartender replies, "for you, no charge".

[Cowasjee_Sanaea_3E]

Q: Why do chemists like nitrates so much?
A: They're cheaper than day rates.

[Hung_Sabrina_3N]

Q: What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?
A: A ferrous wheel:
Fe - Fe
/ \
Fe Fe
\ /
Fe - Fe

[Hung_Sabrina_3N]

Q: What did the chemical agent say?
A: My name is Bond, Ionic Bond. Taken, not shared

[Shailyn_Moore_3C]

Organic chemistry is difficult. Those who study it have alkynes of trouble.

[Xinyi_Yan_3L]

[Jessica_Zeng_3G]

Why did the acid go to the gym?

To become a buffer solution!

[Aleena_Sorf_2A]

Helium walks into a bar.
The bar tender says, “We don’t serve noble gasses in here.”
Helium doesn’t react.

[Lexy Swenson 1F]

Why do chemistry professors like to teach about ammonia?
Because it's basic stuff.

Why did Carbon marry Hydrogen?
They bonded well from the minute they met

A small piece of sodium which lived in a testube fell in love with a Bunsen burner. "Bunsen! my flame! I melt whenever I see you" said the sodium. The bunsen burner replied :"It's just a phase you're going through"

[Diana_Anum1G]

Friend: Hey, what show does cesium and iodine love watching together?
Me: I don't know, CSI?

[Krista Yang 1C]

Q: Why does a hamburger have lower energy than a steak?
A: It's in the ground state.

[Marissa Stinnett 1E]

Even though we aren't on this unit anymore, who doesn't love a star wars reference here and there?!

[Jessica De Anda 2C]

What is a cation afraid of?

A dogion

[Brandon_Williams_3E]

Electrochemistry joke

[KarinaOropeza_2L]

[Michelle Lin 3M]

That feeling when you know chemistry jokes but they're all boron.

[Jagmeet_Arora_1G]

Goals:
Q: Why did the acid go to the gym?
A: To become a buffer solution!

[Ikechukwu Ofoegbu 3D]

Q: What do you call a tooth in a glass of water?
A: One molar solution.

[April Z 1K]

Q: Why do chemistry students do well when working with ammonia?
A: Because it's pretty basic stuff.

[Deanna_Nguyen_3L]

Q: What does a chemist bring as a dessert while camping?
A: A ‘gram’ cracker.

[Avery_E]

Q:How do sulfur and oxygen communicate?
A: A sulphone!

[katherine_r]

In a sports relay race, a chemical kinetics specialist runs slowly, and his group loses the race.

When the chemical kinetics specialist is asked why he ran slowly, his reply was "I always wanted to be the significant rate determining step."

[Harmeet_Kaur_2D]

What did the thermometer say to the graduated cylinder?

"You may have graduated but I've got many degrees."

[FaithPigeon_1E]

If I were a dj I'd name myself DJ Enzyme because I'm always breaking it down

[Shushanna S 3F]

Friend texts me: Hey do you think we can hang out?

Me: NOBr, I'm busy.

*starts laughing at own joke*

[Ivanna_Tang_3B]

A chemistry teacher is recruited as a radio operator in the first world war. He soon becomes familiar with the military habit of abbreviating everything. As his unit comes under a sustained enemy attack, he is asked to urgently inform his HQ.
"NaCl over NaOH! NaCl over NaOH!" he says.
"NaCl over NaOH?" shouts his officer. "What do you mean?"
"The base is under a salt!" The chemist replied.

[danny_nguyen_3C]

I wanted to make a clever chemistry joke, but all the good ones Argon.

[Breanna Buhay 2H]

"You may have graduated but I've got many degrees."

[Desiree Martin 2A]

[Sally_Tu_1H]

Q: Why do chemists enjoy working with ammonia?
A: Because it's pretty basic stuff.

[Cerjay_Lugtu_3B]

"What do you do to a dead scientist?"

'You Barium."

[Samya Konda 2I]

In a sports relay race, a chemical kinetics specialist runs slowly, and his group loses the race.

When the chemical kinetics specialist is asked why he ran slowly, his reply was “I always wanted to be the significant rate determining step”.

[ckim_1I]

Questionable?

[Novelpreet_Boparai1N]

I would never poison you. Now eat your Pb and Jelly sandwich.

[Sarah Sackey_3G]

https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/56 ... 290db8.jpg

[Arianna_Mandelli_3C]

What do you call Iron blowing in the wind?

Fe-breeze

[Abishek 3K]

.

[HimadreeR]

[Teja_Kadali_3A]

[Kareem]

I asked the guy sitting next to me if he had any Sodium Hypobromite…
He said NaBrO

[Thomas Morgan 1B]

Q: What element is derived from a Norse [censored]?
A: Thorium.

[Thomas_Elizabeth_3A]

If a King farts is it a noble gas?

[Omeed_Partovi_1L]

Who took a bigger L:
USC or me on the Chem midterm??

[Michael Sparks 2F]

Who took a bigger L:
USC or me on the Chem midterm??

You silly!

[Tina_Keshishian_2F]

Why do chemists like nitrates so much?

-They're cheaper than day rates.

[lisabang2L]

In a sports relay race, a chemical kinetics specialist runs slowly, and his group loses the race.

When the chemical kinetics specialist is asked why he ran slowly, his reply was “I always wanted to be the significant rate determining step”.

[Timothy Yu 2M]

"Did you hear about Oxygen and Magnesium dating?"
"I've heard this before, it's OMg!"
"No, hasn't Lavelle taught you anything?! It's MgO"

[Ethan_Kato_1D]

Why do chemists like nitrates so much?

They are cost less than day rates!!!!

[Adrienne Johnson 1D]

What is a cation afraid of?

A dog ion

[Adrienne Johnson 1D]

Why did Carbon marry Hydrogen?

They bonded well from the minute they met.

[Amanda Salgado 3D]

Are all my jokes too basic for you? Why is there no reaction?

[Julianne_Zingmond_1E]

Did you know that you can cool yourself to -273˚C and still be 0k?

[Matthew Yeganeh 3M]

I don't have any good chemistry jokes to tell. All the best jokes Argon.

[Frank_Smith_3L]

What is a minion's favorite element sequence? Barium, Sodium, Sodium!!!

[Kimberly_Hernandez_3L]

Why are so many chemist alcoholics? Because alcohol is a solution

[kgiesch1N]

you must be made of uranium and iodine because all I can see is U and I

[Kimberly_Hoh_2A]

Why did Carbon and Helium get married?
They bonded well from the moment they met.

[Yeon Hee Park 3M]

i can't say its a joke but had to buy this at Trader Joe's

[Sarahi Garza 3k]

People in Trump's administration are like atoms...

because they make up everything!

*Not my original joke*

[Wesley_Rugen_1E]

Since we are studying kinetics:

In a sports relay race, a chemical kinetics specialist runs slowly, and his group loses the race.

When the chemical kinetics specialist is asked why he ran slowly, his reply was "I always wanted to be the significant rate determining step."

[ChristinaRoble3J]

This isn't really a joke, but a chemistry pickup line

Do you have 11 protons?
Bc you're sodium fine

[Jennifer Ngo 1M]

did you know the sun doesn't have to go to college cause it already has 28 million degrees :-)

[Gabriela_2E]

[Quynh Nguyen 2H]

Q: why do chemistry professors like to teach about ammonia?
A: Because it is basic material.

If you're not part of the solution, you're part of the precipitate

[Spencer Peterman 3E]