Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Moderators: Chem_Mod, Chem_Admin
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Q: If H-two-O is the formula for water, what is the formula for ice?
A: H-two-O-CUBED!!
A: H-two-O-CUBED!!
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
A small piece of sodium which lived in a test tube fell in love with a Bunsen burner. "Bunsen! My flame! I melt whenever I see you!" said the sodium. The bunsen burner replied, "It's just a phase you're going through."
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
What did the thermometer say to the graduated cylinder?
"You may have graduated but I've got many degrees."
"You may have graduated but I've got many degrees."
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Q: According to a chemist, why is the world so diverse?
Because it's made up of alkynes of people.
Because it's made up of alkynes of people.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
I asked the guy sitting next to me if he had any Sodium Hypobromite…
He said NaBrO
He said NaBrO
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Q: What do you do with a sick chemist?
A: If you can't helium, and you can't curium, then you might as well barium.
A: If you can't helium, and you can't curium, then you might as well barium.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
I would never try to poison you.
Now, eat your Pb and jelly sandwich.
Now, eat your Pb and jelly sandwich.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Why did Carbon marry Hydrogen?
They bonded well from the minute they met
They bonded well from the minute they met
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
This totally makes sense based on what we have been learning in chem.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
"Wow, you must travel a lot, how many states have you been in?"
"Find my entropy and you'll know!"
"Find my entropy and you'll know!"
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Q: Why are He, Cm, and Ba the medical elements?
A: Because if you can't Helium or Curium, you Barium!
A: Because if you can't Helium or Curium, you Barium!
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Organic chemistry is difficult... those who study it have alkynes of trouble
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Q: Why do chemists like nitrates so much?
A: They're cheaper than day rates.
A: They're cheaper than day rates.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Q: What do you call a joke that is based on cobalt, radon, and yttrium?
A: CoRnY
A: CoRnY
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Q: Why does hamburger yield lower energy than steak?
A: Because it's in the ground state.
A: Because it's in the ground state.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
My tendency to always sleep is directly related to the tendencies of the electrons inside of me, they're always trying to be in their lowest energy state.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Have you heard the one about a chemist who was reading a book about helium?
He just couldn't put it down.
He just couldn't put it down.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Q: Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium?
A: It went OK.
A: It went OK.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Why do scientists call helium, curium, and barium the healing elements?
Because if you can't helium or curium, you have to barium
Because if you can't helium or curium, you have to barium
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Q: What element is a girl's future best friend?
A: Carbon! "Diamonds are a girl's best friend". Diamonds are created from extreme pressurization of carbon over a period of time. Therefore, they will be a girl's best friend over time, in the future!
A: Carbon! "Diamonds are a girl's best friend". Diamonds are created from extreme pressurization of carbon over a period of time. Therefore, they will be a girl's best friend over time, in the future!
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Hey girl are you made of copper and Tellurium?
Because you are CuTe
Because you are CuTe
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
H2O is water and H2O2 is hydrogen peroxide. What is H2O4?
Drinking.
Drinking.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Why do chemists like nitrates so much?
They're cheaper than day rates.
They're cheaper than day rates.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Oxygen went on a date with Potassium. It was OK. But I thought Oxygen was with Magnesium! OMG! At first Oxygen asked out Nitrogen, but Nitrogen was all like "NO!" so Oxygen had that double bond with the Hydrogen twins...If I didn't know any better, I'd say someone was a HO, but Sodium Hypobromite always told me "NaBrO! Don't spread rumors!"
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Why do chemist enjoy working with Ammonia?
Because its pretty basic stuff
Because its pretty basic stuff
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
If The Formula For Water Is H2O?
Is the formula for an ice cube H2O squared?
Is the formula for an ice cube H2O squared?
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Correcting my friends after learning basic thermodynamics: A heated argument.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Q: Why do chemists like nitrates so much?
A: They're cheaper than day rates.
A: They're cheaper than day rates.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
"What did the bartender say when oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium, and phosphorous walked into his bar? OH SNaP!"
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
A guy walks in a bar and orders water (H2O)..
another guys also orders H2O too. (this guy dies)
another guys also orders H2O too. (this guy dies)
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Q: Why aren't chemists ever able to prank their friends?
A: Because they lack the element of surprise.
A: Because they lack the element of surprise.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Q: What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?
A: He was booked for a salt and battery.
A: He was booked for a salt and battery.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
A chemistry professor couldn't resist interjecting a little philosophy into a class lecture. He interrupted his discussion on balancing chemical equations, saying, "Remember, if you're not part of the solution, you're part of the precipitate!"
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
An atom says to another, "I lost my electron."
to which the other replied, "Are you sure?"
"Yes, I'm positive"
to which the other replied, "Are you sure?"
"Yes, I'm positive"
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?
He was booked for a salt and battery.
He was booked for a salt and battery.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
What do you do with a sick chemist?
If you cannot Helium and you cannot Curiam, you might as well Berium!
If you cannot Helium and you cannot Curiam, you might as well Berium!
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Last night Sodium and Hypobromite came to my house and asked to borrow some money.
I was like NaBrO
I was like NaBrO
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
A physicist and a biologist went on a date but there was no chemistry.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Every time I pot a chemistry joke on this forum there is no reaction
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Is it the friendship love?
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
I tell chemistry jokes periodically, but usually there is no reaction.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Q: How do you tell the difference between a chemist and a train driver?
A: Ask them to pronounce "unionized".
A: Ask them to pronounce "unionized".
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
What do you do with the sick chemist?
If you can't Helium, and if you can't Curium, then you might as well Barium
If you can't Helium, and if you can't Curium, then you might as well Barium
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Water is composed of two gins, Oxygin and Hydrogin. Oxygin is pure gin. Hydrogin is gin and water.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Concept: Increase the temperature in test rooms to boost my rate of reacting to the confusingly worded problems on test
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
You matter.
Unless you multiply yourself by the speed of light, squared.
Then, you energy.
Unless you multiply yourself by the speed of light, squared.
Then, you energy.
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