Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

[katherine_r]

It's that time of year when the bank account starts getting low...

[Avery_E]

:)

[Lexy Swenson 1F]

A small furry animal walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Sorry, our maximum occupancy is only 6.00 x 1023. We can't serve a mole."

Cole's law: Thinly sliced cabbage

Have you heard the one about a chemist who was reading a book about helium and just couldn't put it down?

[E_Villavicencio 2N]

[604746385]

I would tell a chemistry joke but all the good ones argon.

[GregoryPolyakov_1H]

Why is Ochem so difficult?

Those who study it have alkynes of trouble!

[StephZou_2G]

The optimist sees the glass half full. The pessimist sees the glass half empty. The chemist sees the glass completely full, half with liquid and half with air.

[StephZou_2G]

Q: Why did the acid go to the gym?
A: To become a buffer solution.

[gingy 1K]

Hmmm...

[Serena Patel 2H]

Organic Chemistry is difficult.
Those who study it have alkynes of trouble.

[kane_jajieh_3F]

Bob: Hey Chris have you heard about this new band called endothermic reaction?
Chris: Ya I've been a fan of them since before they were cool

[Sylvia_Cai_3D]

Q: What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?
A: A ferrous wheel.

[Michelle Lin 3M]

what kind of dogs to chemists have?

Laboratory Retrievers.

[RitaChang_2C]

[104733309]

Are you made up of copper and tellurium? Cause you're CuTe.

[104733309]

Do you have 11 protons? cause you're sodium fine

[Arianna_Mandelli_3C]

Q: Why did the acid go to the gym?
A: To become a buffer solution!

[Christian Hardoy 3F]

You must be made of Uranium and Iodine because all I can see is U and I!

[Jaz_Y_1H]

[Christian Hardoy 3F]

Q: What kind of dogs do chemists have?
A: Laboratory retrievers.

[Jasleen Kaur 1J]

I heard that Oxygen and Magnesium were going out and i was like "OMg"

[Marissa Stinnett 1E]

[Tamara_Torosyan_1J]

.

[sboutros2B]

What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms? A: A ferrous wheel.

[Cowasjee_Sanaea_3E]

Why did the white bear dissolve in water?
Because it was polar!

[Rodri_Karla_1J]

[Drishti_Jain_1D]

Q: What do you do with a sick chemist?



A: First you try to helium, then you try to curium, but if that fails, then you have to barium.

[Jazmin_Morales_3J]

I cringed so hard but here it is

If H20 is the formula for water, what is the formula for ice?

H20 cubed

[JoAnna Yortiss 2G]

[DhirajR_3F]

[Jessica_Nakahira_1G]

Proof.

[Jessica Chern 1H]

Prostitute Teacher: Describe hydrogen.
Student: It is a prostitute element.
Teacher: Who taught you that?
Student: You said it does not belong to a particular group and it reacts with almost all the elements in the periodic table.

[Zhiyong Xie 3K]

[Teja_Kadali_3A]

[wesley hardin]

Want to Hear a joke about sodium?

Na.

[Aleena_Sorf_2A]

Q: What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?
A: A ferrous wheel:
Fe - Fe
/ \
Fe Fe
\ /
Fe - Fe

[Alexxa_Vasquez_3B]

what in tarnation titration

[Melissa Ledesma 2B]

:)

[Grace Pu 3E]

What's the formula for water?

HIJKLMNO!

[Aneet_2A_]

Q: Why do chemists enjoy working with ammonia?
A: Because it's pretty basic stuff.

[Aneet_2A_]

Q: If H20 is water, what is H204?
A: Drinking, bathing, washing, swimming, etc.

[Aneet_2A_]

Q: When one physicist asks another, "What's new?" what's the typical response?
A:C over lambda.

[Aneet_2A_]

Q: When one physicist asks another, "What's new?" what's the typical response?
A:C over lambda.

[Alexandria_Leaf_2F]

Did you hear about the chemist who was reading a book about Helium? He just couldn't put it down!

[Aneet_2A_]

Q: What is the name of 007's Eskimo cousin?
A: Polar Bond

[Aneet_2A_]

Q: What is the name of 007's Eskimo cousin?
A: Polar Bond

[Aneet_2A_]

Q: Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium?
A: It went OK.

[Raj Susarla 3I]

Q: Why does hamburger have lower energy than steak?
A: Because it's in the ground state!

[Aneet_2A_]

A photon checks into a hotel and is asked if he needs any help with his luggage. He says, "No, I'm traveling light."

[Aneet_2A_]

If the Silver Surfer and Iron Man team up, they'd be alloys.

[Aneet_2A_]

The name's Bond. Ionic Bond. Taken, not shared.

[Aneet_2A_]

I had to make these bad chemistry jokes because all the good ones Argon.

[Lei Wena Herme 1O]

Why do chemistry professors like to teach about ammonia?
Because it's basic material!

[Emily_Vilshtein_3B]

[alliedavis]

[Billy Ngoy 2I]

Q: Why are you lazy? >:(

A: I'm not lazy. I'm just full of potential energy :D

[Parsia Vazirnia 2L]

What in tarnation!

[Deanna_Nguyen_3L]

In a sports relay race, a chemical kinetics specialist runs slowly, and his group loses the race.

Q: When the chemical kinetics specialist is asked why he ran slowly. What was his reply?

A: “I always wanted to be the significant rate determining step”.

[Billy Ngoy 2I]

From the ground, anti-aircraft guns fired at the bomber pilot as he emptied his load of Hydrochloric Acid over enemy territory. As the plane flew away, the pilot smiled, with satisfaction at the voice over his radio. “Congratulations, you’ve just neutralized a dangerous base!”

[Billy Ngoy 2I]

Q: Why did the chemist help the kid who was being bullied?

A: He didn’t want to watch the kid sulfur.

[Sarah Sackey_3G]

https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/23 ... 245b15.jpg

[Rhea Kundan_2G]

I love puns

[Mindy Zhang 3F]

Two atoms are walking down the street and they run into each other:
“Are you alright?”
“No, I lost an electron!”
“Are you sure?”
“Yeah, I’m positive!”

[Samya Konda 2I]

Did you hear about the industrialist who had a huge chloroform spill at his factory? His business went insolvent.

How many atoms in a guacamole? Avocado's number.

[Gabriela_2E]

[Esteban Espinoza]

Q: Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium?

A: It went OK.

[David Sung 2H]

The optimist sees the glass half full. The pessimist sees the glass half empty. The chemist sees the glass completely full, half with liquid and half with air.

[Zaamin Khwaja 3D]

Electrophile: I came out to have a good time but I’m honestly feeling so attacked right now

[Timothy Yu 2M]

Did you hear about the man who got cooled to absolute zero?
Well...

He's 0K now.

[Kimberly_Hoh_2A]

Q: What kind of dogs do chemists have?
A: Laboratory Retrievers

[Arshia_Sabir_3E]

Q: What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?
A: A ferrous wheel.

[Geovanni_Suarez_3A]

[Frankie Escobedo 3E]

Q: What do you do with a sick chemist?
A: If you can't helium, and you can't curium, then you might as well barium

[Helen 3C]

[SarahTian3k]

i miss you when you argon

[Sally_Tu_1H]

Q: Why do chemists call helium, curium, and barium the healing elements?
A: Because if you can't helium or curium, you barium!

[Frank_Smith_3L]

So hydroiodic acid walks into a bar right,..., "HI!!!" it screams

[BetcyGaspar_3C]

https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/23 ... 5edf69.jpg

[Austin Gee 2N]

Organic chemistry is difficult. Those who study it have alkynes of trouble.

[Ethan_Wilson_1E]

You must be made of uranium and iodide, because all I can see is U and I ;)

[Anthony_Sampayo_4I]

Have you heard the one about a chemist who was reading a book about helium?
He just couldn't put it down

[Delour Haj 3J]

Chemistry is like cooking- just don't lick the spoon!

[Jaspreet_Nagra_2I]

Hey! Oxygen is in a relationship with Magnesium!... OMg

[Raul Garcia 3I]

A little narrative:
Helium walks into a bar
The bartender says "We don't serve Noble Gases here"
....helium doesn't react.

[Shivali_Raja_3K]

What do you get when you cut an avocado into 6.022 x 10^23 pieces?

Guacamole.

[Morgan Zapasnik 1N]

[Jasmine_Wong_2K]

What element is a girl's best friend? Carbon!

[Huongly Do 3D]

Organic chemistry is so difficult.........

People who study it have alkanes of trouble!

[Jackyboy 1C]

A neutron walks into a bar. He asks the bartender, "How much for a beer?" The bartender offers him a warm smile and says, "For you, no charge".

[ChristinaRoble3J]

https://www.facebook.com/aScienceEnthusiast/photos/a.475346705827113.120684.475335342494916/1558205550874551/?type=3

Look at the link! It is very context specific

[Felicia Zhang 2J]

H2O is the formula for water. What is the formula for ice?

H2O cubed.

[Eljie_2F]

What in sublimation?!?

[Sunny Chera 1N]

[Sunny Chera 1N]

[Andrew Zhong 2H]

Head's up everyone.

[Ana_Andrade_1A]

Q: What happens to nitrogen when the sun rises?
A: It becomes daytogen

[Jagmeet_Arora_1G]

Great joke or bad joke??
Q:What do dipoles say in passing?
A:Have you got a moment?

[lilyjustine_1G]

Wot in activation

[ERIKTORRESDisc3C]

[Ian Brown 1K]

What's a pirate's favorite element?

Arrrgon