Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
It's that time of year when the bank account starts getting low...
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
A small furry animal walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Sorry, our maximum occupancy is only 6.00 x 1023. We can't serve a mole."
Cole's law: Thinly sliced cabbage
Have you heard the one about a chemist who was reading a book about helium and just couldn't put it down?
Cole's law: Thinly sliced cabbage
Have you heard the one about a chemist who was reading a book about helium and just couldn't put it down?
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Why is Ochem so difficult?
Those who study it have alkynes of trouble!
Those who study it have alkynes of trouble!
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
The optimist sees the glass half full. The pessimist sees the glass half empty. The chemist sees the glass completely full, half with liquid and half with air.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Q: Why did the acid go to the gym?
A: To become a buffer solution.
A: To become a buffer solution.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Organic Chemistry is difficult.
Those who study it have alkynes of trouble.
Those who study it have alkynes of trouble.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Bob: Hey Chris have you heard about this new band called endothermic reaction?
Chris: Ya I've been a fan of them since before they were cool
Chris: Ya I've been a fan of them since before they were cool
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Q: What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?
A: A ferrous wheel.
A: A ferrous wheel.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Q: Why did the acid go to the gym?
A: To become a buffer solution!
A: To become a buffer solution!
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
You must be made of Uranium and Iodine because all I can see is U and I!
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
I heard that Oxygen and Magnesium were going out and i was like "OMg"
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms? A: A ferrous wheel.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Q: What do you do with a sick chemist?
A: First you try to helium, then you try to curium, but if that fails, then you have to barium.
A: First you try to helium, then you try to curium, but if that fails, then you have to barium.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
I cringed so hard but here it is
If H20 is the formula for water, what is the formula for ice?
H20 cubed
If H20 is the formula for water, what is the formula for ice?
H20 cubed
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Prostitute Teacher: Describe hydrogen.
Student: It is a prostitute element.
Teacher: Who taught you that?
Student: You said it does not belong to a particular group and it reacts with almost all the elements in the periodic table.
Student: It is a prostitute element.
Teacher: Who taught you that?
Student: You said it does not belong to a particular group and it reacts with almost all the elements in the periodic table.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Q: What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?
A: A ferrous wheel:
Fe - Fe
/ \
Fe Fe
\ /
Fe - Fe
A: A ferrous wheel:
Fe - Fe
/ \
Fe Fe
\ /
Fe - Fe
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
:)
- Attachments
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- chemistry joke oc.jpg (8.81 KiB) Viewed 16521 times
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Q: Why do chemists enjoy working with ammonia?
A: Because it's pretty basic stuff.
A: Because it's pretty basic stuff.
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Q: If H20 is water, what is H204?
A: Drinking, bathing, washing, swimming, etc.
A: Drinking, bathing, washing, swimming, etc.
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Q: When one physicist asks another, "What's new?" what's the typical response?
A:C over lambda.
A:C over lambda.
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Q: When one physicist asks another, "What's new?" what's the typical response?
A:C over lambda.
A:C over lambda.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Did you hear about the chemist who was reading a book about Helium? He just couldn't put it down!
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Q: Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium?
A: It went OK.
A: It went OK.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Q: Why does hamburger have lower energy than steak?
A: Because it's in the ground state!
A: Because it's in the ground state!
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
A photon checks into a hotel and is asked if he needs any help with his luggage. He says, "No, I'm traveling light."
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
I had to make these bad chemistry jokes because all the good ones Argon.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Why do chemistry professors like to teach about ammonia?
Because it's basic material!
Because it's basic material!
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Q: Why are you lazy? >:(
A: I'm not lazy. I'm just full of potential energy :D
A: I'm not lazy. I'm just full of potential energy :D
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
In a sports relay race, a chemical kinetics specialist runs slowly, and his group loses the race.
Q: When the chemical kinetics specialist is asked why he ran slowly. What was his reply?
A: “I always wanted to be the significant rate determining step”.
Q: When the chemical kinetics specialist is asked why he ran slowly. What was his reply?
A: “I always wanted to be the significant rate determining step”.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
From the ground, anti-aircraft guns fired at the bomber pilot as he emptied his load of Hydrochloric Acid over enemy territory. As the plane flew away, the pilot smiled, with satisfaction at the voice over his radio. “Congratulations, you’ve just neutralized a dangerous base!”
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Q: Why did the chemist help the kid who was being bullied?
A: He didn’t want to watch the kid sulfur.
A: He didn’t want to watch the kid sulfur.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Two atoms are walking down the street and they run into each other:
“Are you alright?”
“No, I lost an electron!”
“Are you sure?”
“Yeah, I’m positive!”
“Are you alright?”
“No, I lost an electron!”
“Are you sure?”
“Yeah, I’m positive!”
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Did you hear about the industrialist who had a huge chloroform spill at his factory? His business went insolvent.
How many atoms in a guacamole? Avocado's number.
How many atoms in a guacamole? Avocado's number.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Q: Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium?
A: It went OK.
A: It went OK.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
The optimist sees the glass half full. The pessimist sees the glass half empty. The chemist sees the glass completely full, half with liquid and half with air.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Electrophile: I came out to have a good time but I’m honestly feeling so attacked right now
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Did you hear about the man who got cooled to absolute zero?
Well...
He's 0K now.
Well...
He's 0K now.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Q: What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?
A: A ferrous wheel.
A: A ferrous wheel.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Q: What do you do with a sick chemist?
A: If you can't helium, and you can't curium, then you might as well barium
A: If you can't helium, and you can't curium, then you might as well barium
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Q: Why do chemists call helium, curium, and barium the healing elements?
A: Because if you can't helium or curium, you barium!
A: Because if you can't helium or curium, you barium!
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Organic chemistry is difficult. Those who study it have alkynes of trouble.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
You must be made of uranium and iodide, because all I can see is U and I ;)
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Have you heard the one about a chemist who was reading a book about helium?
He just couldn't put it down
He just couldn't put it down
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
A little narrative:
Helium walks into a bar
The bartender says "We don't serve Noble Gases here"
....helium doesn't react.
Helium walks into a bar
The bartender says "We don't serve Noble Gases here"
....helium doesn't react.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
What do you get when you cut an avocado into 6.022 x 10^23 pieces?
Guacamole.
Guacamole.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Organic chemistry is so difficult.........
People who study it have alkanes of trouble!
People who study it have alkanes of trouble!
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
A neutron walks into a bar. He asks the bartender, "How much for a beer?" The bartender offers him a warm smile and says, "For you, no charge".
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
https://www.facebook.com/aScienceEnthusiast/photos/a.475346705827113.120684.475335342494916/1558205550874551/?type=3
Look at the link! It is very context specific
Look at the link! It is very context specific
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
H2O is the formula for water. What is the formula for ice?
H2O cubed.
H2O cubed.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Head's up everyone.
Last edited by Andrew Zhong 2H on Sun Feb 26, 2017 10:38 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Q: What happens to nitrogen when the sun rises?
A: It becomes daytogen
A: It becomes daytogen
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Great joke or bad joke??
Q:What do dipoles say in passing?
A:Have you got a moment?
Q:What do dipoles say in passing?
A:Have you got a moment?
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