Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

[Eli Pazol 2F]

i need all the positivity i can get for the final

[Maria Llose 1I]

[Jessica_Zeng_3G]

[504829531]

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[Erika Gonzalez 1F]

Oxygen and Potassium?

They're OK. Nothing Special.

[Nadine_El Fawal_3M]

[Jennifer_Yee_3I]

[TramHo2G]

If a queen farts, is it considered a noble gas?

[Brandon_Phan_3J]

If all the good chemistry jokes argon then we should probably zinc of new ones

[Zaamin Khwaja 3D]

How often do I joke about chemistry?
periodically

[Krishil_Gandhi_1D]

WHAT IN TITRATION!!

[Laine Gruver 3C]

lol

[Laine Gruver 3C]

A photon checks into a hotel and is asked if he needs help with his luggage. He says, "No, I'm traveling light."

[Laine Gruver 3C]

Q: What substance has the formula HIJKLMNO?
A: Water.

[Rachelle_Stark_3H]

A group of organic molecules were having a party, when a group of robbers broke into the room and stole all of the guest's joules. A tall, strong man, armed with a machine gun came into the room and killed the robbers one by one. The guests were very grateful to this man, and they wanted to know who he was. He replied: My name is BOND, Covalent Bond.

[Frankie Escobedo 3E]

Do you have 11 protons?
Cause you sodium fine

[104733309]

How do you post a picture to the joke page?

[stuart_key_3E]

Why did the bear dissolve in water?
because it was a polar bear

[Dana_Tran_1L]

What two elements do sheep yell out when happy?
BaH

[604805638]

Pick up lines

[Kiana_Shibata_2G]

Little Willie was a chemist. Little Willie is no more. What he thought was H2O was H2SO4.

[Katherine_Ly_1H]

Why do chemists learn about ammonia first?

It's pretty basic stuff.

[melissasandoval2O]

Whats a frat boy's favorite element? BROmine
Whats a frat boy's favorite organic substituent? BROmo

[Gabriela_2E]

An electron sitting in a prison asked a second electron cellmate, "What are you in for?" To which the latter replied, "For attempting a forbidden transition."

[Arielle 1I]

[emilyharland]

Did you hear about the man who got cooled to absolute zero? He's 0K now.

[Victoria Vu 3L]

Did you know that you can cool yourself to -273.15˚C and still be 0k?

[Justin_Bueno_2O]

Planes

[kgiesch1N]

Q: What did the bartender say when oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium, and phosphorous walked into his bar?
A: OH SNaP!

[Zara_Joshi_3L]

.

[Michelle Lin 3M]

Think like a proton. Always positive!

[Sarahi Garza 3k]

What's the hottest chemistry rap group in the game?

"Bu-tane Clan"

[Abbey Kerscher 3O]

!!!

[Katherine Sung 2I]

Don't throw sodium chloride at people, that's assault!

[Arianna_Mandelli_3C]

Q: Anyone know any jokes about sodium hydride?
A: NaH

[Shivali_Raja_3K]

"Help! Save me!! I'm diene!"

"I'm triene!!!"

[Andrew Nguyen 3O]

What is Avogadro teaching his astronomy class about?

The molar system

[Yamilex Velgara 2I]

When Dr. Lavelle talked about vinyl this week, I thought about vinyl car seats.

[Yamilex Velgara 2I]

How do you post a picture to the joke page?

You can attach it if you scroll down below the box that says "I agree." Click on "Attachments" >> "Add files."

[Tamara_Torosyan_1J]

.

[Rory_Grant_3E]

Simple yet elegant.

[Lillian_Lai_1K]

A proton walks up to a hydrogen atom and says, "Man, I think I've lost an electron..." "Are you sure?" his friend asks. "I'm positive!"

[Zoe Robertson 2H]

Why did Carbon marry Hydrogen?
They bonded well from the moment they met!
<3

[Sandy_Kim_1K]

Organic chemistry is difficult. People who study it have alkynes of trouble.

[SydneyKusumoputro_3K]

Q: What was the charge when NaCl was arrested?

A: A salt.

[Samantha_Leong_3K]

[Jonathan Marin Dis3A]

Why does a hamburger have less energy than a steak?
Because it's in the ground state.

[Jennifer Ngo 1M]

[isabelle ruedisueli 1j]

what did co2 say to co when co passed gas?
That was silent, but deadly. x__X

[Jingyuan_Fu_3E]

I don't want to tell jokes in class because I might get NO REACTION

[Aiden_Hsu_1M]

When we're almost done with the quarter

[Christina_F_3F]

How can you tell the difference between a plumber and a chemist?

Ask them to pronounce "unionized"

[Grace 3G]

[Camille_2G]

[Toby Lin 1J]

[JulieLy_3C]

We're all triene our best to understand organic chem

[Alexxa_Vasquez_3B]

my line drawings have really improved, to be honest

[Alexxa_Vasquez_3B]

carbon's kinda important

[Edgar Ramos]

What in hybridization?

[Raj Susarla 3I]

It's true

[Cobie_Allen_1H]

Good ole' organic chemistry!

[Keitty_Calderon_1C]

I asked the guy sitting next to me if he had any Sodium Hypobromite…
He said NaBrO

[Emily_Vilshtein_3B]

[Balint Nagy 3C]

What do you do with a sick chemist?
If you can't helium, and you can't curium, then you might as well barium.

[Tiffany Wee 2D]

What is the chemical formula of a banana?
Ba(Na)2

[Javier Portillo 3O]

Two chemists go into a bar. The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O." The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" — and he died.

[Javier Portillo 3O]

A photon checks into a hotel and is asked if he needs any help with his luggage. He says, "No, I'm traveling light."

[Javier Portillo 3O]

Q:Why are chemists great for solving problems?
A: They have all the solutions.

[Javier Portillo 3O]

Q:What do you call a fish made of two sodium atoms?
A:2Na

[Hannah Meacham 2A]

Q: What does the military use acid for?

A: To neutralize the enemy base.

[Javier Portillo 3O]

Q:Why did the white bear dissolve in water?
A: Because it was a polar bear.

[Javier Portillo 3O]

Q: Why is Organic chemistry is hard?
A: People run into alkynes of trouble.

[Javier Portillo 3O]

Q:What do you do with a sick chemist?
A: You try to helium, and then you try to curium, but if all else fails, you gotta barium.

[Jonathan Orozco 1A]

H2O is water and H2O2 is hydrogen peroxide. What is H2O4?


Answer: Drinking

[ERIKTORRESDisc3C]

[Teja_Kadali_3A]

[Felicia Zhang 2J]

A photon checks into a hotel and is asked if he needs any help carrying his luggage. He says, "No. I'm traveling light."

[Bailey_Osborne_3A]

Did you hear about oxygen and potassium's date?
I heard it went OK.

[Isaiah Sandoval 1D]

[AlexandraOsterland_3E]

According to a chemist, why is the world so diverse?
Because it's made of alkynes of people!

[Timothy_Hyun_2K]

The optimist sees the glass half full. The pessimist sees the glass half empty. The chemist sees the glass completely full, half with liquid and half with air.

[Adam Wojnar 1K]

Makes sense to me

[Desiree Martin 2A]

Chemistry Joke :)

[Alex_Wagas_3K]

[Anjum Farook 2O]

i know we haven't covered hydrogenation yet but

[ckim_1I]

ha

[Annie_Amundson_1L]

Q: Why would a chemist play the piano?

A: To hear the different ketones!

[David Julfayan 1F]

[104733309]

nanananananana baaaatmannn

[Kareem]

Most chem jokes are bad since most of the good ones Argon.

[Adrienne Johnson 1D]

What is the chemical formula for banana?

BaNa2

[Adrienne Johnson 1D]

If H2O is the formula for water, what is the formula for ice?

H2O cubed

[Sahil Sharma 2J]

Why do chemists like nitrates so much?


They're cheaper than day rates.

[Andrew Zhong 2H]

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How I'm feeling right now

[TiengTum2D]

An optimist sees a glass half full with water.
A pessimist sees a glass half empty.
A chemist sees a glass full with water and air.

[Kathrin Magdalani 3J]

A photon checks into a hotel and is asked if he needs any help with his luggage. He says, "No, I'm traveling light."

[Ting Zheng 3L]

What is the name of 007's Eskimo cousin?

Polar Bond.

[Lei Wena Herme 1O]

For all of us entering the last 2 weeks of winter quarter and finals week:
It's good to keep a positive attitude and not have an electron cloud hanging over your head!

[Omeed_Partovi_1L]

What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?
-A ferrous wheel!

[Austin Gee 2N]

Why do chemists call Helium, Curium, and Barium the medical elements?

Because, if you can't helium or curium, you barium