Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Moderators: Chem_Mod, Chem_Admin
-
- Posts: 17
- Joined: Wed Sep 21, 2016 2:59 pm
-
- Posts: 20
- Joined: Wed Sep 21, 2016 3:00 pm
-
- Posts: 14
- Joined: Wed Sep 21, 2016 2:56 pm
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
What do you do with a sick chemist?
If you can't helium, and you can't curium, then you might as well barium.
If you can't helium, and you can't curium, then you might as well barium.
-
- Posts: 10
- Joined: Fri Jul 22, 2016 3:00 am
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Q: What did the Electrophile say to Benzene?
A: I want some of that sweet pi.
A: I want some of that sweet pi.
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
The Official Unabashed Scientific Dictionary defines cation as a positively charged kitten.
-
- Posts: 9
- Joined: Sat Jul 09, 2016 3:00 am
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Why do chemists like nitrates so much?
They're cheaper than day rates.
I asked the guy sitting next to me if he had any Sodium Hypobromite…
He said NaBrO
Q: What is the show cesium and iodine love watching together?
A: CSI
Q: What is the chemical formula for "coffee"?
A: CoFe2
They're cheaper than day rates.
I asked the guy sitting next to me if he had any Sodium Hypobromite…
He said NaBrO
Q: What is the show cesium and iodine love watching together?
A: CSI
Q: What is the chemical formula for "coffee"?
A: CoFe2
-
- Posts: 16
- Joined: Wed Sep 21, 2016 2:59 pm
-
- Posts: 10
- Joined: Wed Sep 21, 2016 2:58 pm
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
What is carbon dating? Two diamonds on a night out.
Why did the noble gas cry? Because all his friends argon.
Why did the noble gas cry? Because all his friends argon.
-
- Posts: 11
- Joined: Wed Sep 21, 2016 2:58 pm
-
- Posts: 21
- Joined: Fri Jul 22, 2016 3:00 am
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Organic chemistry is difficult. Those who study it have alkynes of trouble.
Teacher: What is the formula for water?
Student: H, I, J, K, L, M, N, O
Teacher: That's not what I taught you.
Student: But you said the formula for water was...H to O.
Teacher: What is the formula for water?
Student: H, I, J, K, L, M, N, O
Teacher: That's not what I taught you.
Student: But you said the formula for water was...H to O.
-
- Posts: 21
- Joined: Fri Jul 15, 2016 3:00 am
-
- Posts: 12
- Joined: Wed Sep 21, 2016 2:55 pm
-
- Posts: 12
- Joined: Wed Sep 21, 2016 2:56 pm
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Did you know that you can cool yourself to -273.15˚C and still be 0k?
-
- Posts: 10
- Joined: Wed Sep 21, 2016 2:59 pm
-
- Posts: 15
- Joined: Wed Sep 21, 2016 2:57 pm
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Cover your basics
- Attachments
-
- images.jpg (11.62 KiB) Viewed 17843 times
-
- Posts: 22
- Joined: Wed Sep 21, 2016 2:58 pm
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Q: What do you call a joke that is based on cobalt, radon, and yttrium?
A: CoRnY.
A: CoRnY.
-
- Posts: 22
- Joined: Wed Sep 21, 2016 2:58 pm
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Q: Hydroxyl, Sulfur, Sodium, and Phosphorus walk into a bar. What did the bartender say?
A: "OH SNaP!!!"
A: "OH SNaP!!!"
-
- Posts: 11
- Joined: Wed Sep 21, 2016 2:55 pm
-
- Posts: 19
- Joined: Fri Jul 22, 2016 3:00 am
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
What do you call a joke that is based on cobalt, radon, and yttrium?
CoRnY
CoRnY
-
- Posts: 19
- Joined: Fri Jul 22, 2016 3:00 am
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Have you heard the one about the chemist who was reading a book about Helium?
He just couldn't put it down
He just couldn't put it down
-
- Posts: 13
- Joined: Wed Nov 18, 2015 3:00 am
-
- Posts: 6
- Joined: Wed Sep 21, 2016 2:55 pm
-
- Posts: 11
- Joined: Wed Sep 21, 2016 2:55 pm
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Q: Where does the German chemistry teacher put the used batteries of an electrolytic experiment?
A: In the zinc.
A: In the zinc.
-
- Posts: 9
- Joined: Wed Sep 21, 2016 2:59 pm
-
- Posts: 7
- Joined: Fri Jun 17, 2016 11:28 am
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?
To reduce his carbon footprint.
To reduce his carbon footprint.
-
- Posts: 10
- Joined: Fri Jul 22, 2016 3:00 am
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Q: Why did Chlorine's sisters Boron and Carbon lock her in the closet?
A: Because she was too attractive!
A: Because she was too attractive!
-
- Posts: 28
- Joined: Wed Sep 21, 2016 2:58 pm
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Q: What do you call a periodic table with gold missing?
A: "Au revoir"
A: "Au revoir"
-
- Posts: 10
- Joined: Wed Sep 21, 2016 2:57 pm
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Q: What did the thermometer say to the graduated cylinder?
A: At least I have a degree.
A: At least I have a degree.
-
- Posts: 31
- Joined: Wed Sep 21, 2016 3:00 pm
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Did you hear about the guy who got cooled to absolute zero ?
He's 0K now
What's a girl's future best friend?
Carbon
C (graphite) -> C (diamond)
He's 0K now
What's a girl's future best friend?
Carbon
C (graphite) -> C (diamond)
-
- Posts: 10
- Joined: Wed Sep 21, 2016 2:59 pm
-
- Posts: 11
- Joined: Wed Sep 21, 2016 2:55 pm
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
A neutron walks into a bar and asks how much for a drink, bartender says, "for you, no charge!"
-
- Posts: 10
- Joined: Sat Jul 09, 2016 3:00 am
-
- Posts: 10
- Joined: Wed Nov 18, 2015 3:00 am
-
- Posts: 22
- Joined: Sat Jul 09, 2016 3:00 am
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Why are chemists great for solving problems?
- They have all the solutions.
- They have all the solutions.
-
- Posts: 14
- Joined: Wed Sep 21, 2016 2:55 pm
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Why did the electron want to go to the party?
Because it was excited
Because it was excited
-
- Posts: 10
- Joined: Wed Sep 21, 2016 2:55 pm
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Q. How do you tell the difference between a chemist and a train driver?
A. Ask them to pronounce “unionized”!
A. Ask them to pronounce “unionized”!
-
- Posts: 6
- Joined: Wed Nov 18, 2015 3:00 am
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Did you know that you can cool yourself to -273.15˚C and still be 0k?
-
- Posts: 7
- Joined: Wed Nov 18, 2015 3:00 am
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Organic chemistry is difficult. Those who study it have alkynes of trouble.
-
- Posts: 11
- Joined: Wed Sep 21, 2016 2:57 pm
-
- Posts: 10
- Joined: Wed Sep 21, 2016 2:55 pm
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Did you hear about the man who got cooled to absolute zero?
He's 0K now.
He's 0K now.
-
- Posts: 16
- Joined: Fri Jul 15, 2016 3:00 am
- Been upvoted: 1 time
-
- Posts: 18
- Joined: Wed Sep 21, 2016 2:56 pm
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Q: If H20 is water, what is H204?
A: Drinking, bathing, washing, swimming, etc.
A: Drinking, bathing, washing, swimming, etc.
-
- Posts: 31
- Joined: Fri Jul 15, 2016 3:00 am
-
- Posts: 18
- Joined: Wed Sep 21, 2016 2:56 pm
-
- Posts: 21
- Joined: Fri Jul 22, 2016 3:00 am
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Last edited by Chaoyi_He_3H on Mon Mar 06, 2017 12:09 am, edited 1 time in total.
-
- Posts: 18
- Joined: Wed Sep 21, 2016 2:56 pm
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Q: Why did the acid go to the gym?
A: To become a buffer solution.
A: To become a buffer solution.
-
- Posts: 19
- Joined: Wed Sep 21, 2016 2:59 pm
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
What did the chemists say after they heard a funny joke?
"That joke was sodium funny. I slapped my neon on that one."
"That joke was sodium funny. I slapped my neon on that one."
-
- Posts: 10
- Joined: Wed Nov 18, 2015 3:00 am
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
What was Avogadro's favorite sport?
Golf because he always got a mole-in-one.
Golf because he always got a mole-in-one.
-
- Posts: 18
- Joined: Wed Sep 21, 2016 2:56 pm
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Why does hamburger have less energy than steak?
It's in the ground state.
It's in the ground state.
-
- Posts: 18
- Joined: Wed Sep 21, 2016 2:56 pm
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
A photon checks into a hotel and is asked if he needs any help with his luggage. He says, "No, I'm traveling light."
-
- Posts: 18
- Joined: Wed Sep 21, 2016 2:56 pm
-
- Posts: 10
- Joined: Wed Sep 21, 2016 2:55 pm
-
- Posts: 19
- Joined: Wed Sep 21, 2016 2:59 pm
-
- Posts: 24
- Joined: Wed Sep 21, 2016 2:56 pm
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
What do you call a tooth in a glass of water?
A one molar solution :)
A one molar solution :)
-
- Posts: 22
- Joined: Fri Jul 22, 2016 3:00 am
- Been upvoted: 1 time
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
What do you do with a sick chemist?
If you can’t helium and you can’t curium, you might as well barium.
If you can’t helium and you can’t curium, you might as well barium.
-
- Posts: 26
- Joined: Sat Jul 09, 2016 3:00 am
-
- Posts: 19
- Joined: Fri Jul 15, 2016 3:00 am
-
- Posts: 25
- Joined: Wed Sep 21, 2016 2:59 pm
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
How did the hipster chemist burn his hand?
He picked up his beaker before it was cool.
He picked up his beaker before it was cool.
-
- Posts: 9
- Joined: Wed Sep 21, 2016 2:55 pm
-
- Posts: 21
- Joined: Wed Sep 21, 2016 3:00 pm
-
- Posts: 6
- Joined: Wed Sep 21, 2016 2:57 pm
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Hey I just met you
And this is crazy
But here's my number
6.0221x10^23
So call me maybe!
And this is crazy
But here's my number
6.0221x10^23
So call me maybe!
-
- Posts: 8
- Joined: Fri Jul 15, 2016 3:00 am
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Q: What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?
A: He was booked for a salt and battery.
A: He was booked for a salt and battery.
-
- Posts: 10
- Joined: Wed Nov 18, 2015 3:00 am
-
- Posts: 20
- Joined: Wed Sep 21, 2016 2:59 pm
-
- Posts: 10
- Joined: Wed Nov 18, 2015 3:00 am
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Did you know that you can cool yourself to -273.15˚C and still be 0k?
-
- Posts: 14
- Joined: Sat Jul 09, 2016 3:00 am
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Q: Why are chemists so good at solving problems?
A: Because the have and make all the solutions!
A: Because the have and make all the solutions!
-
- Posts: 20
- Joined: Wed Sep 21, 2016 2:58 pm
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Criminal Elements:
Cu: I'm taking the two of you in for a salt!
Na and Cl: You'll never catch us alive, copper!
Cu: I'm taking the two of you in for a salt!
Na and Cl: You'll never catch us alive, copper!
-
- Posts: 18
- Joined: Wed Sep 21, 2016 2:56 pm
-
- Posts: 16
- Joined: Fri Jul 15, 2016 3:00 am
-
- Posts: 51
- Joined: Wed Sep 21, 2016 3:00 pm
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
You must be made of Uranium and Iodine because all I can see is U and I!
-
- Posts: 10
- Joined: Wed Sep 21, 2016 2:55 pm
-
- Posts: 10
- Joined: Fri Jun 17, 2016 11:28 am
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Austin Gee 2N wrote:Why do chemists call Helium, Curium, and Barium the medical elements?
Because, if you can't helium or curium, you barium
I LOLed so hard at this :)
-
- Posts: 18
- Joined: Wed Sep 21, 2016 2:56 pm
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Two atoms are walking down the street.
One says to the other, "Hey I think I lost an electron!"
The other says, "Are you sure?"
"Yes, I'm positive!"
One says to the other, "Hey I think I lost an electron!"
The other says, "Are you sure?"
"Yes, I'm positive!"
-
- Posts: 20
- Joined: Wed Sep 21, 2016 2:58 pm
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
What's the only thing worse than organic chemistry? GMO chemistry.
-
- Posts: 10
- Joined: Fri Jun 17, 2016 11:28 am
-
- Posts: 17
- Joined: Wed Sep 21, 2016 2:58 pm
-
- Posts: 24
- Joined: Sat Jul 09, 2016 3:00 am
-
- Posts: 10
- Joined: Wed Sep 21, 2016 2:58 pm
Return to “Student Social/Study Group”
Who is online
Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 13 guests