Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

[Jared Gao 3G]

"Do you want any Sodium, Bromine, or Oxygen?" "NaBrO"

[Vivian Wang 3J]

[Chaoyi_He_3H]

What is a chemist’s favorite plant?
Stoichiome-tree

[Delour Haj 3J]

The optimist sees the glass half full. The pessimist sees the glass half empty. The chemist sees the glass completely full, half with liquid and half with air.

[Melissa Van Pell 2I]

Heisenberg is out for a drive when he's stopped by a traffic cop. The cop says, " Do you know how fast you were going?" Heisenberg replies, "No, but at least I know where I am"

[Srishti_Dhawan_2I]

Do You Have Any Sodium Hypobromite?

A. NaBrODo

[Evan Gentry 2E]

Q: Did you hear about the man who got cooled to absolute zero?
A: He's 0K now.

[Kristine_Espinosa_2L]

[Jackyboy 1C]

What do you do with a sick chemist?
A. First you try to helium, then you try to curium, but if this fails then you have to barium.

[Theresa_Trieu_2G]

[Jaspreet_Nagra_2I]

Organic chemistry is difficult...
Those who study it have alkynes of trouble.

[Jaspreet_Nagra_2I]

Q: What did the bartender say when oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium, and phosphorous walked into his bar?
A: OH SNaP!

[BiancaDang3H]

If you're not part of the solution, you're part of the precipitate.

[Karishma_Patel3E]

Einstein, Newton and Pascal are playing hide and go seek. lt’s Einstein’s turn to count so he covers his eyes and starts counting to ten.Pascal runs off and hides. Newton draws a one meter by one meter square on the ground in front of Einstein then stands in the middle of it. Einstein reaches ten and uncovers his eyes. He sees Newton immediately and exclaims “Newton! I found you! You’re it!”
Newton smiles and says “You didn’t find me, you found a Newton over a square meter. You found Pascal!”

[paulapedrani]

"Hi! Nice to meet you! What's your name?"
"I'm dead."
"Am I dead, too??"
"No! My name is DiEthyl Azo Dicarboxylate! DEAD for short."

[maria_tamondong_1L]

According to a chemist, why is the world so diverse? Because it's made up of alkynes of people.

[Odel Zadeh_2C]

Week 9 Chem Joke

[Hannah Liu 2A]

Q: Is Silicon spelled the same in Spanish?

A: Si!

[lorrainerowe_1K]

[Maverick Tan 1F]

What Did The Angry Electron Say When It Was Repelled?

A. Let me atom!

[Jasmine_Wong_2K]

Chemists are bad at telling jokes...
They lack the element of surprise.

[Kaitlin_Reeves_1C]

Did you hear about the industrialist who had a huge chloroform spill at his factory? His business went insolvent.

[Korosh Bahrami]

The optimist sees the glass half full.
The pessimist sees the glass half empty.
The chemist see the glass completely full, half in the liquid state and half in the vapor state.

[Jason_Hong_2J]

What did the chemist snack on during lunch?

A "gram" cracker.

[Teresa_Duarte_3K]

[AonyaMontoya2B]

True.

[AonyaMontoya2B]

.

[304779711]

Why did the bear dissolve in the water?
It was a Polar Bear!

[YsabelCheang1H]

[Hannah Liu 2A]

[Hanan_Kashkoul_1O]

[Mimi_Giang_1F]

Who's the best at making bad jokes about Iodine and Americium?

I AM!

[gohar_mkrtchyan_2J]

[Alexa_Kwang_1D]

You must be made of uranium and iodine because all I see is U and I

[Franklin Kong 3D]

Why do hamburgers have a lower energy than steak?
Because they're in the ground state.

[Sydniespore]

Chemistry joke

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[Cindy Ngo 1E]

Q: What do they do with a sick chemist?
A: Well, if you can't curium and you can't helium, you might as well barium.

[Timothy_Hyun_2K]

It takes alkynes to make a world.

[AllanNicholson2F]

[Yi Ying Chen 3N]

I hate dealing with triple bonds. They cause alkyne-ds of problems.

[Jessica_Zeng_3G]

What is the chemical formula for seawater?

CH₂O

[Erika Gonzalez 1F]

Two ions walk out of a bar...

The first says, "I left my electrons inside."
The second says, "Are you sure?"
"I'm positive."

[Zaamin Khwaja 3D]

[Alice Jung 1C]

MOOD

[a_jeny2E]

I asked the guy sitting next to me if he had any Sodium Hypobromite…
He said NaBrO

[Sarahi Garza 3k]

How to survive the O-Chem part of 14B...

"When in doubt, draw it out!" -Laurence Lavelle

[Chiemeka Ezechukwu 3K]

Q: What did the scientist say when he found 2 isotopes of helium?


A: HeHe

[JonathanZhu3B]

I make bad chemistry jokes because all the good ones argon.

[Chiemeka Ezechukwu 3K]

lol

[AndyL3I]

[hfrazer1B]

Q: Anyone know any jokes about sodium?
A: Na

[Iris Feng 2I]

What do you call iron blowing in the wind?

Febreeze

[Omer Lavian 2K]

A really deep and important question to ponder as you study for quiz 3 and the final.

[Desiree Martin 2A]

Chemistry Joke:)

[Tanner Baroni 3I]

[Nikki Nguyen 2N]

not for me xD

[Michael_Zhang_1J]

Q: Why do chemists like nitrates so much?
A: They're cheaper than day rates!

[Zaamin Khwaja 3D]

[304779711]

Life is like an organic reaction... the negative energy is always compelled to attack the positive little guys!

[Ashley T 2H]

f48bb2f65dcbeda329fe5015ac1d3922.jpg (5.26 KiB) Viewed 19412 times

[yubin moon 3c]

A sign outside the chemistry hotel reads "Great Day Rates, Even Better NO3-'s"

[Ricardo Munoz 3K]

Lavelle! Here's another Hat meme!

[Ting Zheng 3L]

Old chemists never die.

They just stop reacting.

[Melanie_Wong_1K]

[Libbyfidel_1E]

Organic chemistry is difficult. Those who study it have alkynes of trouble.

[Mirian_Garcia_2G]

[NicoleDurghalli_1F]

Not sure if i posted for week 8 yet but.. lol

[NicoleDurghalli_1F]

HAHHAHAH

[Mirian_Garcia_2G]

No snapchat, sorry. Homeboy only receives text messages

[Bailey_Osborne_3A]

How many moles are in a guacamole?

Avocado's Number

[Bailey_Osborne_3A]

What do you do with a sick chemist?

If you can't helium and you can't curium, you might as well barium!

[Emily_Bloom_1I]

[Tyler_Vellozzi_3E]

Did you know you can cool yourself to -273.15°C and still be 0K?

[Nick_Ida 1D]

What did the bartender say when Oxygen, Hydrogen, Sulfur, Sodium, and Phosphorous walked into his bar?
OH SNaP!

[Tiffany Jeng 1L]

laugh

[Mackenzie_Lowenstein_2N]

According to a chemist, why is the world so diverse? Because it's made up of alkynes of people.

[Gigi Ye 2K]

Why do chemists like nitrate so much?
A: They're cheaper than day rates

[AndyL3I]

Why did the white bear dissolve in water?

Because it's a polar bear!

[Ryan Cerny 3I]

Why did the bacterium die?
It was invaded by a retro- isopropyl-hexane!!!!!!!!!

[Kiana_Shibata_2G]

Silver walks up to Gold in a bar and says, "AU, get outta here!"

[Chris Liddicoat]

Q: Why does a hamburger have lower energy than a steak?
A: Because it's in the ground state!

[sheilaho_1E]

Q: What did the Mass Spectrometer say to the Gas Chromatograph?
A: Breaking up is hard to do.

[LeontyneHenderson2E]

What did carbon say to uranium before he left?
I'll CU later

[LeontyneHenderson2E]

What kind of bear dissolves in water?
A polar bear!!

[Amber_Candelaria_1D]

I'm diene

[hfrazer1B]

Q: What did the scientist say when he found 2 isotopes of helium?
A: HeHe

[Sonia_Lele_2K]

Q: Why did the bear dissolve in water?

A: It was polar.

[Bryan Vega 2E]

Did you know that you can cool yourself to -273.15 C and still be 0k?

[Karan Ishii 3E]

My Father is a Chemist my Mother is a Mathematician. They named me iron59.

[gracehart]

Two chemists go into a bar. The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O." The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" — and he died.

[Nikola_Stojcic_3O]

Q: How did the Alkane get to work?
A:It rode its bi-cyclo

[Joshua Song 2M]

What's the difference between a pedophile and an electrophile?

One has the letter "d" and the other doesn't.

[Katrina_Galian 1J]

Why do chemistry professors like to teach about ammonia? Because it's basic material.

[ryan_chowdhury_2E]

Did you say Professor Lavelle listens to Tupac?

No, I said he listens to IUPAC! He loves their recent soundtrack about naming complex hydrocarbons.

[Hannah Liu 2A]

Q: Are you a compound of Barium and Beryllium?
A: because you are such a BaBe!

[arsalzaheer2L]

Have you heard the one about a chemist who was reading a book about helium?
He just couldn't put it down.

[Amy_Dixon_1I]

Actually

[Jennifer_Yee_3I]

Organic chemistry is difficult. It causes alkynes of trouble!

[stuart_key_3E]

Two chemists go into a bar
The first one says "I think I'll have some H2O."
The second one says "I think I'll have some H2O too," and later died.

[Abishek 3K]

.