Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

[StevenBieneman_3K]

1,2-dimethylcyclopropane?

I should wear that to the beach...

[Sunny Chera 1N]

[Samantha_Leong_3K]

[Neha Nibber 3H]

Two chemists go into a bar. The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O." The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" — and he died.

[David Julfayan 1F]

images.png (9.61 KiB) Viewed 21727 times

[Jonathan Marin Dis3A]

Did you know you could cool yourself to -273.15°C and still be 0K???

[Winnie Liu 1M]

I told a bad joke about Helium one day, but nobody was reactive.

[Brian_Mena_1J]

Oh ok

[Keitty_Calderon_1C]

A sign outside the chemistry hotel reads "Great Day Rates, Even Better NO3-'s"

A group of organic molecules were having a party, when a group of robbers broke into the room and stole all of the guest's joules. A tall, strong man, armed with a machine gun came into the room and killed the robbers one by one. The guests were very grateful to this man, and they wanted to know who he was. He replied: My name is BOND, Covalent Bond.

Heisenberg is out for a drive when he's stopped by a traffic cop. The cop says: " Do you know how fast you were going? Heisenberg replies: "No, but I know where I am".

[Andrew Nguyen 3O]

Q. What is the name of 007's Eskimo cousin?

A. Polar Bond

[Srishti_Dhawan_2I]

I asked the guy sitting next to me if he had any Sodium Hypobromite…
He said NaBrO

[ibukunolabinjo_3J]

[Tycho_Meimban_2B]

It's true. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

[Sophie_Ahmad_2F]

Anybody know any jokes about sodium?

Na

[helen_bui_2G]

What do you call a tooth in a glass of water?
A one molar solution.

[helen_bui_2G]

According to a chemist, why is the world so diverse?
Because it's made up of alkynes of people

[Zhiyong Xie 3K]

If H2O is water, what is H2O4?
Drinking, bathing, washing and swimming

[divya_devineni_2E]

Think like a proton and stay positive!

[Jingyuan_Fu_3E]

Q: What did thermometer say to the graduated cylinder?
A: "You may have graduated but I've got numerous degrees"

[Mikaela Gareeb 3G]

If you're not part of the solution, you're part of the precipitate.

What's "HIJKLMNO"?
H2O

Why does a hamburger have lower energy than a steak?
It's in the ground state

[Melissa Ledesma 2B]

:)

[caitlin_oberman_2G]

O chemistry you make me laugh

[Samya Konda 2I]

A photon checks into a hotel and is asked if he needs any help with his luggage. He says, "No, I'm traveling light."

If you're not part of the solution, you're part of the precipitate.

[Amanda_Ye_1G]

Breaking Bad :)

[JulieLy_3C]

[Aaron_Trell_2J]

Q: Want to hear a joke about sodium hypobromite?
A: NaBrO

[Katherine Sung 2I]

What did Na and Ne say after hearing a chemistry joke?

That was sodium funny! I slapped my neon that one!

[Jackyboy 1C]

Baby, I know chemistry and you've got one significant figure

[Kirsten Bermudo 1O]

You can freeze yourself at -273°C and still be 0K

[Nadine_El Fawal_3M]

[Thomas Morgan 1B]

If your'e not part of the solution you're part of the participate.

[Cris Yuan 2I]

Here's a fun one about hydrocarbons:

[Anisha Patel 1G]

wow

[PriscillaMariscal_3F]

What do you call an acid with an attitude?

A-mean-oh acid

[Simran Brar 1J]

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[Sahand Fardi 1]

Organic Chemistry is difficult.... Those who study it will have alkynes of trouble.

[Sahand Fardi 1]

Q: Did you hear about the guy who got cooled to absolute zero?


A: He's oK now.

[Sahand Fardi 1]

If the Silver Surfer and Ironman team up, they'd be alloys

[Sahand Fardi 1]

I had to make these bad chemistry jokes because all the good ones Argon

[Sahand Fardi 1]

Chemists.....

[Sahand Fardi 1]

After the final

[Sahand Fardi 1]

2 types

[Deanna_Nguyen_3L]

Q: According to a chemist, why is the world so diverse?
A: Because it's made up of alkynes of people.

[004599434]

Outside his buckyball home, one molecule overheard another molecule saying, "I'm positive that a free electron once stripped me of an electron after he lepton me. You gotta keep your ion them."

[MaddyMoore3A]

Hahaha!

[Marissa Stinnett 1E]

[Tyler_Vellozzi_3E]

Why did the hipster chemist get burnt? Because he touched the beaker before it was cool.

[Andrew Zhong 2H]

[Isaiah Sandoval 1D]

The sun and moon must be jealous of other models because they have eclipsed conformations less often that other models.
(Instead of the normal 120 degrees they need to wait the full 360 degrees.)

[Serena Patel 2H]

What kind of phone did Oxygen buy Sulfur for his birthday?

A Sulfone

[Yen Vuong 2I]

[Alex Phu 2c]

Q: Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium?

A: It went OK.

[Taravat_Lakzian_1C]

Q: Why did the noble gas cry?
A: Because all his friends Argon

[Marisa_Woo_2G]

If a bear in Yosemite and a bear in Alaska both fall into the water, which one dissolves faster?

The one in Alaska, because it's polar. :)

~~~~
If you're not part of the solution, you're part of the precipitate. :)

[Michelle Lin 3M]

Why did the hipster chemist get burnt?

Because he touched the beaker before it was cool.

[KoSiOg]

Do you have mole problems?
If so, call Avogrado at 602-1023

[KoSiOg]

When you know Chemistry Jokes

But they all Boron

[KoSiOg]

Gold walks into a bar. The bartender shouts "Ay you! Get out of here!"

[Anya_Alag_3J]

How many physical chemists does it take to wash a beaker? None. That's what organic chemists are for!

[Alexma 3A]

Organic chemistry is difficult. Those who study it have alkynes of trouble.

[Alexma 3A]

http://i.imgur.com/bos8ZrD.png

[Wesley_Rugen_1E]

Organic chemistry is really difficult. Those who study it have alkynes of trouble.

[Alexma 3A]

https://chemistryiit.files.wordpress.co ... icexam.png

[Alexma 3A]

https://chemistryiit.files.wordpress.co ... 500cf4.jpg

[Alexma 3A]

https://chemistryiit.files.wordpress.co ... lature.png

[Quynh Nguyen 2H]

Q: What element is derived from a Norse [censored]?
A: Thorium.

[Aleena_Sorf_2A]

Q: What did the scientist say when he found 2 isotopes of helium?
A: HeHe

[Jessica_Nakahira_1G]

Since the final is in a week....

[Ikechukwu Ofoegbu 3D]

Q: Why does hamburger yield lower energy than steak?
A: Because it's in the ground state.

[Swati_Sharma_2D]

What is the molecule CH2O called? Seawater!

[jillianduffield_2D]

Organic chemistry is hard. People who study it have alkynes of trouble.

[AlexSun2L]

What did the scientist say when he found 2 isotopes of helium?
“HeHe”

[Irene Davila Mejia 1I]

True story

[Raj Susarla 3I]

The Chemistry Cat doesn't have 9 lives, but instead has 18 half-lives (he's radioactive!).

This one really cracked me up!!

[Sarah Sackey_3G]

.

[Kimberly_Hoh_2A]

What animal is made of calcium, nickel, and neon?

A CaNiNe! :D

[Timothy Yu 2M]

What do you do with a sick chemist?

If you can't helium, and you can't curium, then you might as well barium.

[Kelly Ortega 1K]

Q: What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?
A: A ferrous wheel:
Fe - Fe
/ \
Fe Fe
\ /
Fe - Fe

[Ting Zheng 3L]

How do you tell the difference between a chemist and a train driver?

Ask them to pronounce "unionized."

[Jagmeet_Arora_1G]

If the Silver Surfer and Iron Man team up, they’d be alloys.

[Evan Gentry 2E]

Anyone know any jokes about Sodium?
Na

[gohar_mkrtchyan_2J]

[Paola_RubioRod_1F]

[Noelle Min-1N]

[melissapasao1B]

Why do aromatics belong in the nuthouse?

Because they’re all CYCLO.

[wesley hardin]

"Chemists, man."

"What's wrong with chemists?"

"Well, you just have to keep an ION them."

[Kristen_Power_1C]

A chemist walks into the bar asking for concentrated sodium hydroxide.
The bartender asks, "Why the long base?"

[Yeon Hee Park 3M]

alright

[Emily_Vilshtein_3B]

[Katherine_Ly_1H]

Why do chemists like nitrates so much?

They're cheaper than day rates.

[KimberlySalinas_2A]

Why do chemists like nitrates so much? Because they're cheaper than day rates

[Chem_Mod]

Since the final is in a week....

I hope not! :-)

[ERIKTORRESDisc3C]

[Jared Gao 3G]

What do you get when you cut an avocado into 6x10^23 pieces?
Guacamole.

[AndyL3I]

What is a chemist's favorite kind of tree?

A chemistree

[Jaz_Y_1H]

[KylaTenido1G]

Every dipole has its moment!

Why did the employer force his employees to walk between high-voltage plates before entering the work place???

--Because he didn't want any unionized workers!!

[katherine_r]

Since it's beach season in California!

[Avery_E]

periodic table jokes

[katherine_r]

Love is in the air