Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Two chemists go into a bar. The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O." The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" — and he died.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Did you know you could cool yourself to -273.15°C and still be 0K???
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Oh ok
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
A sign outside the chemistry hotel reads "Great Day Rates, Even Better NO3-'s"
A group of organic molecules were having a party, when a group of robbers broke into the room and stole all of the guest's joules. A tall, strong man, armed with a machine gun came into the room and killed the robbers one by one. The guests were very grateful to this man, and they wanted to know who he was. He replied: My name is BOND, Covalent Bond.
Heisenberg is out for a drive when he's stopped by a traffic cop. The cop says: " Do you know how fast you were going? Heisenberg replies: "No, but I know where I am".
A group of organic molecules were having a party, when a group of robbers broke into the room and stole all of the guest's joules. A tall, strong man, armed with a machine gun came into the room and killed the robbers one by one. The guests were very grateful to this man, and they wanted to know who he was. He replied: My name is BOND, Covalent Bond.
Heisenberg is out for a drive when he's stopped by a traffic cop. The cop says: " Do you know how fast you were going? Heisenberg replies: "No, but I know where I am".
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
I asked the guy sitting next to me if he had any Sodium Hypobromite…
He said NaBrO
He said NaBrO
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
What do you call a tooth in a glass of water?
A one molar solution.
A one molar solution.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
According to a chemist, why is the world so diverse?
Because it's made up of alkynes of people
Because it's made up of alkynes of people
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
If H2O is water, what is H2O4?
Drinking, bathing, washing and swimming
Drinking, bathing, washing and swimming
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Q: What did thermometer say to the graduated cylinder?
A: "You may have graduated but I've got numerous degrees"
A: "You may have graduated but I've got numerous degrees"
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
If you're not part of the solution, you're part of the precipitate.
What's "HIJKLMNO"?
H2O
Why does a hamburger have lower energy than a steak?
It's in the ground state
What's "HIJKLMNO"?
H2O
Why does a hamburger have lower energy than a steak?
It's in the ground state
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
A photon checks into a hotel and is asked if he needs any help with his luggage. He says, "No, I'm traveling light."
If you're not part of the solution, you're part of the precipitate.
If you're not part of the solution, you're part of the precipitate.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
What did Na and Ne say after hearing a chemistry joke?
That was sodium funny! I slapped my neon that one!
That was sodium funny! I slapped my neon that one!
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
If your'e not part of the solution you're part of the participate.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Organic Chemistry is difficult.... Those who study it will have alkynes of trouble.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Q: Did you hear about the guy who got cooled to absolute zero?
A: He's oK now.
A: He's oK now.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
I had to make these bad chemistry jokes because all the good ones Argon
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Chemists.....
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Q: According to a chemist, why is the world so diverse?
A: Because it's made up of alkynes of people.
A: Because it's made up of alkynes of people.
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Outside his buckyball home, one molecule overheard another molecule saying, "I'm positive that a free electron once stripped me of an electron after he lepton me. You gotta keep your ion them."
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Hahaha!
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Why did the hipster chemist get burnt? Because he touched the beaker before it was cool.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
The sun and moon must be jealous of other models because they have eclipsed conformations less often that other models.
(Instead of the normal 120 degrees they need to wait the full 360 degrees.)
(Instead of the normal 120 degrees they need to wait the full 360 degrees.)
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
What kind of phone did Oxygen buy Sulfur for his birthday?
A Sulfone
A Sulfone
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Q: Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium?
A: It went OK.
A: It went OK.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
If a bear in Yosemite and a bear in Alaska both fall into the water, which one dissolves faster?
The one in Alaska, because it's polar. :)
~~~~
If you're not part of the solution, you're part of the precipitate. :)
The one in Alaska, because it's polar. :)
~~~~
If you're not part of the solution, you're part of the precipitate. :)
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Why did the hipster chemist get burnt?
Because he touched the beaker before it was cool.
Because he touched the beaker before it was cool.
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Gold walks into a bar. The bartender shouts "Ay you! Get out of here!"
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
How many physical chemists does it take to wash a beaker? None. That's what organic chemists are for!
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Organic chemistry is difficult. Those who study it have alkynes of trouble.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Organic chemistry is really difficult. Those who study it have alkynes of trouble.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Q: What did the scientist say when he found 2 isotopes of helium?
A: HeHe
A: HeHe
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Q: Why does hamburger yield lower energy than steak?
A: Because it's in the ground state.
A: Because it's in the ground state.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Organic chemistry is hard. People who study it have alkynes of trouble.
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
What did the scientist say when he found 2 isotopes of helium?
“HeHe”
“HeHe”
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
The Chemistry Cat doesn't have 9 lives, but instead has 18 half-lives (he's radioactive!).
This one really cracked me up!!
This one really cracked me up!!
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
What do you do with a sick chemist?
If you can't helium, and you can't curium, then you might as well barium.
If you can't helium, and you can't curium, then you might as well barium.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Q: What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?
A: A ferrous wheel:
Fe - Fe
/ \
Fe Fe
\ /
Fe - Fe
A: A ferrous wheel:
Fe - Fe
/ \
Fe Fe
\ /
Fe - Fe
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
How do you tell the difference between a chemist and a train driver?
Ask them to pronounce "unionized."
Ask them to pronounce "unionized."
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Why do aromatics belong in the nuthouse?
Because they’re all CYCLO.
Because they’re all CYCLO.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
"Chemists, man."
"What's wrong with chemists?"
"Well, you just have to keep an ION them."
"What's wrong with chemists?"
"Well, you just have to keep an ION them."
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
A chemist walks into the bar asking for concentrated sodium hydroxide.
The bartender asks, "Why the long base?"
The bartender asks, "Why the long base?"
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
alright
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Why do chemists like nitrates so much?
They're cheaper than day rates.
They're cheaper than day rates.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Why do chemists like nitrates so much? Because they're cheaper than day rates
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Jessica_Nakahira_1G wrote:Since the final is in a week....
I hope not! :-)
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
What do you get when you cut an avocado into 6x10^23 pieces?
Guacamole.
Guacamole.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Every dipole has its moment!
Why did the employer force his employees to walk between high-voltage plates before entering the work place???
--Because he didn't want any unionized workers!!
Why did the employer force his employees to walk between high-voltage plates before entering the work place???
--Because he didn't want any unionized workers!!
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Since it's beach season in California!
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Love is in the air
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