Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
What did you do with element 43 last night?
None of your Bismuth
What happens to nitrogen when there's sunlight?
It becomes daytrogen
What is the TV show that cesium and iodine love to watch together?
CSI
None of your Bismuth
What happens to nitrogen when there's sunlight?
It becomes daytrogen
What is the TV show that cesium and iodine love to watch together?
CSI
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
A chemistry professor couldn't resist interjecting a little philosophy into a class lecture. He interrupted his discussion on balancing chemical equations, saying, "Remember, if you're not part of the solution, you're part of the precipitate!"
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Q: What do you say to an organic chemist who asks if they should draw CH3OCH3 or CH3CH2OCH2CH3?
A: Draw ether one!
A: Draw ether one!
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Why did the hipster chemist get burnt?
Because he touched the beaker before it was cool.
Because he touched the beaker before it was cool.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
A photon checks into a hotel and is asked if he needs any help with his luggage. He says, "No, I'm traveling light."
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Q: What do you call a joke that is based on cobalt, radon, and yttrium?
A: CoRnY
A: CoRnY
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Organic chemistry is difficult. Those who study it have alkynes of trouble.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
According to a chemist, why is the world so diverse?
Because it's made up of alkynes of people.
Because it's made up of alkynes of people.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Why can you always count on a chemist?
Because chemists try. (chemistry)
Because chemists try. (chemistry)
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Why do hamburgers have less energy than steaks?
They're in the ground state.
They're in the ground state.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Why do chemists call helium, curium, and barium the healing elements?
Because if you can't helium or curium, you barium!
Because if you can't helium or curium, you barium!
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
I'd post more chemistry jokes on here, but I feel like the sheer amount of content on here might Barium.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Q: What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?
A: He was booked for a salt and battery.
A: He was booked for a salt and battery.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Some cycloalkenes
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
What do you do with a sick chemist?
If you can't helium and you can't curium, then you might as well barium!
If you can't helium and you can't curium, then you might as well barium!
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Why do chemists like nitrates so much?
They're cheaper than day rates.
They're cheaper than day rates.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Helium walks into a bar,
The bar tender says "We don't serve noble gasses in here."
Helium doesn't react.
The bar tender says "We don't serve noble gasses in here."
Helium doesn't react.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
A neutron walks into a bar. He asks the bartender, "How much for a beer?" The bartender offers him a warm smile and says, "For you, no charge."
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Why do chemists like nitrates so much?
They're cheaper than day rates.
They're cheaper than day rates.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
I'm aldehyde, I am going to try and hide myself within the middle of the carbon chain......."-al"
This joke is an onomatopoeia, a pun, AND a helpful pneumonic for remembering ether functional group. Chose ether one to focus on.
This joke is an onomatopoeia, a pun, AND a helpful pneumonic for remembering ether functional group. Chose ether one to focus on.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
What do you call tropical-scented Iron blowing in the wind?
Fe-breeze
Fe-breeze
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Have you heard the one about a chemist who was reading a book about helium?
He just couldn't put it down.
He just couldn't put it down.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Which three elements are most important to the practice of medicine?
He, Cm, Ba
If you can't "helium" or "curium," then you have to "barium."
He, Cm, Ba
If you can't "helium" or "curium," then you have to "barium."
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Why do you get when you cut an avocado into 6x10^23 pieces? A Guacamole
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Why does a hamburger have lower energy than a steak?
Because it's in the ground state.
Because it's in the ground state.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
If you're not part of the solution, you're part of the precipitate.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Q: What kind of ghosts haunt chemistry faculties?
A: Methylated spirits.
A: Methylated spirits.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
A mosquito cried out in pain:
"A chemist has poisoned my brain!"
The cause of his sorrow
was para-dichloro-
diphenyltrichloroethane.
(paraDichloroDiphenylTrichloroethane is the the full name for DDT)
"A chemist has poisoned my brain!"
The cause of his sorrow
was para-dichloro-
diphenyltrichloroethane.
(paraDichloroDiphenylTrichloroethane is the the full name for DDT)
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Organic chemistry is difficult. Those who study it have alkynes of trouble.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
I know many chemistry jokes, but I fear they may not get a good reaction.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Why do aromatics belong in the psychiatric ward?
Because they're CYCLO
haha
Because they're CYCLO
haha
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Q: What is the chemical formula for candy?
A: Carbon-Holmium-Cobalt-Lanthanum-Tellurium (CHoCoLaTe)!
A: Carbon-Holmium-Cobalt-Lanthanum-Tellurium (CHoCoLaTe)!
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
A chemistry professor couldn't resist interjecting a little philosophy into a class lecture. He interrupted his discussion on balancing chemical equations, saying, "Remember, if you're not part of the solution, you're part of the precipitate!
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Why did the acid and base hit up BFIT?
-They wanted to become buffer solutions.
-They wanted to become buffer solutions.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Organic chemistry is difficult. Those who study it have alkynes of trouble!! lol
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Did you hear about the man who got cooled to absolute zero?
He's 0K now.
He's 0K now.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Q: Why are chemists great for solving problems?
A: They have all the solutions.
A: They have all the solutions.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
What kind of ghosts haunt chemistry faculties?
Methylated Spirits.
Methylated Spirits.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
A physicist and a biologist went on a date.
It did not go well as there was no chemistry.
It did not go well as there was no chemistry.
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