Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

julia lai 3A · Postby **julia lai 3A** » Sun Mar 12, 2017 10:36 pm

What do you call a fish made of two sodium atoms?

2Na

Lexy Swenson 1F · Postby **Lexy Swenson 1F** » Sun Mar 12, 2017 10:38 pm

What did you do with element 43 last night?
None of your Bismuth

What happens to nitrogen when there's sunlight?
It becomes daytrogen

What is the TV show that cesium and iodine love to watch together?
CSI

Trisha Kurup 2A · Postby **Trisha Kurup 2A** » Sun Mar 12, 2017 10:42 pm

A chemistry professor couldn't resist interjecting a little philosophy into a class lecture. He interrupted his discussion on balancing chemical equations, saying, "Remember, if you're not part of the solution, you're part of the precipitate!"

Jonathan_Hu_2C · Postby **Jonathan_Hu_2C** » Sun Mar 12, 2017 10:47 pm

Organic chemistry causes ALKYNES of trouble!!!!

Jonathan_Hu_2C · Postby **Jonathan_Hu_2C** » Sun Mar 12, 2017 10:47 pm

z_hernandez_loza_3J · Postby **z_hernandez_loza_3J** » Sun Mar 12, 2017 10:49 pm

004583503_Lupe2E · Postby **004583503_Lupe2E** » Sun Mar 12, 2017 10:55 pm

O CHEM LAUGHS :)

Adam Wojnar 1K · Postby **Adam Wojnar 1K** » Sun Mar 12, 2017 10:55 pm

Annie_Amundson_1L · Postby **Annie_Amundson_1L** » Sun Mar 12, 2017 10:56 pm

Q: What do you say to an organic chemist who asks if they should draw CH3OCH3 or CH3CH2OCH2CH3?

A: Draw ether one!

Daniel Rivas 1F · Postby **Daniel Rivas 1F** » Sun Mar 12, 2017 10:59 pm

ckim_1I · Postby **ckim_1I** » Sun Mar 12, 2017 11:01 pm

Sandy_Kim_1K · Postby **Sandy_Kim_1K** » Sun Mar 12, 2017 11:14 pm

Why did the hipster chemist get burnt?
Because he touched the beaker before it was cool.

HarshiniMuthukumar3N · Postby **HarshiniMuthukumar3N** » Sun Mar 12, 2017 11:23 pm

A photon checks into a hotel and is asked if he needs any help with his luggage. He says, "No, I'm traveling light."

Jaspreet_Nagra_2I · Postby **Jaspreet_Nagra_2I** » Sun Mar 12, 2017 11:24 pm

Q: What do you call a joke that is based on cobalt, radon, and yttrium?
A: CoRnY

Hannah_El-Sabrout_2K · Postby **Hannah_El-Sabrout_2K** » Sun Mar 12, 2017 11:25 pm

Organic chemistry is difficult. Those who study it have alkynes of trouble.

Ian Brown 1K · Postby **Ian Brown 1K** » Sun Mar 12, 2017 11:25 pm

According to a chemist, why is the world so diverse?

Because it's made up of alkynes of people.

Michael Sparks 2F · Postby **Michael Sparks 2F** » Sun Mar 12, 2017 11:26 pm

Michael Sparks 2F · Postby **Michael Sparks 2F** » Sun Mar 12, 2017 11:27 pm

Meera McAdam 1C · Postby **Meera McAdam 1C** » Sun Mar 12, 2017 11:41 pm

Why can you always count on a chemist?
Because chemists try. (chemistry)

rachel_john · Postby **rachel_john** » Sun Mar 12, 2017 11:44 pm

I told a chemistry joke... there was no reaction!

Anthony_Sampayo_4I · Postby **Anthony_Sampayo_4I** » Sun Mar 12, 2017 11:46 pm

Why do hamburgers have less energy than steaks?
They're in the ground state.

Park_DoHy_2F · Postby **Park_DoHy_2F** » Sun Mar 12, 2017 11:47 pm

All the chemistry jokes argon!

Rodri_Karla_1J · Postby **Rodri_Karla_1J** » Sun Mar 12, 2017 11:48 pm

Why do chemists call helium, curium, and barium the healing elements?

Because if you can't helium or curium, you barium!

Kimberly_Rivera_3K · Postby **Kimberly_Rivera_3K** » Sun Mar 12, 2017 11:48 pm

Chris Yeh 3D · Postby **Chris Yeh 3D** » Sun Mar 12, 2017 11:53 pm

bearproblemschem.jpg

Mirian_Garcia_2G · Postby **Mirian_Garcia_2G** » Sun Mar 12, 2017 11:56 pm

Ivanna_Tang_3B · Postby **Ivanna_Tang_3B** » Sun Mar 12, 2017 11:57 pm

Raul Hernandez · Postby **Raul Hernandez** » Sun Mar 12, 2017 11:59 pm

What is the name of Agent 007's Eskimo cousin?

Bond. Polar Bond.

ryan_chowdhury_2E · Postby **ryan_chowdhury_2E** » Sun Mar 12, 2017 11:59 pm

All Chem jokes argon!!

Alexandra_Ivanova_1A · Postby **Alexandra_Ivanova_1A** » Mon Mar 13, 2017 12:09 am

I'd post more chemistry jokes on here, but I feel like the sheer amount of content on here might Barium.

Sally_Tu_1H · Postby **Sally_Tu_1H** » Mon Mar 13, 2017 12:20 am

Q: What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?
A: He was booked for a salt and battery.

Delour Haj 3J · Postby **Delour Haj 3J** » Mon Mar 13, 2017 12:34 am

Want to hear a joke about Sodium Hypobromite?
NaBrO.

Janet Pham 1B · Postby **Janet Pham 1B** » Mon Mar 13, 2017 12:39 am

Some cycloalkenes

Terry1A · Postby **Terry1A** » Mon Mar 13, 2017 12:45 am

What do you do with a sick chemist?

If you can't helium and you can't curium, then you might as well barium!

Breanna Buhay 2H · Postby **Breanna Buhay 2H** » Mon Mar 13, 2017 12:46 am

Organic chemistry causes ALKYNES of trouble!

Chaoyi_He_3H · Postby **Chaoyi_He_3H** » Mon Mar 13, 2017 1:04 am

Why do chemists like nitrates so much?
They're cheaper than day rates.

Jessica De Anda 2C · Postby **Jessica De Anda 2C** » Mon Mar 13, 2017 1:36 am

Helium walks into a bar,
The bar tender says "We don't serve noble gasses in here."
Helium doesn't react.

Ashley_Lok_3M · Postby **Ashley_Lok_3M** » Mon Mar 13, 2017 2:09 am

saminah_adam · Postby **saminah_adam** » Mon Mar 13, 2017 3:48 am

Pool Party

Shivali_Raja_3K · Postby **Shivali_Raja_3K** » Mon Mar 13, 2017 4:05 am

Camille_2G · Postby **Camille_2G** » Mon Mar 13, 2017 8:17 am

Kiana_Shibata_2G · Postby **Kiana_Shibata_2G** » Mon Mar 13, 2017 9:15 am

A neutron walks into a bar. He asks the bartender, "How much for a beer?" The bartender offers him a warm smile and says, "For you, no charge."

Chris Liddicoat · Postby **Chris Liddicoat** » Mon Mar 13, 2017 10:16 am

Q: What do dipoles say in passing?
A: "Have you got a moment?"

Nathan Mallipeddi 2H · Postby **Nathan Mallipeddi 2H** » Mon Mar 13, 2017 10:24 am

Why do chemists like nitrates so much?
They're cheaper than day rates.

Hanan_Kashkoul_1O · Postby **Hanan_Kashkoul_1O** » Mon Mar 13, 2017 10:36 am

Helena Vervaet 1N · Postby **Helena Vervaet 1N** » Mon Mar 13, 2017 10:58 am

Pushed didn't read the lab safety rules

Katie_Ho_1M · Postby **Katie_Ho_1M** » Mon Mar 13, 2017 11:00 am

What is a chemist's dream car?

A Mercedes Benzene

Evan Lee 2D · Postby **Evan Lee 2D** » Mon Mar 13, 2017 11:00 am

How many atoms in a guacamole?

Avocado's number.

Ryan Cerny 3I · Postby **Ryan Cerny 3I** » Mon Mar 13, 2017 11:02 am

I'm aldehyde, I am going to try and hide myself within the middle of the carbon chain......."-al"

This joke is an onomatopoeia, a pun, AND a helpful pneumonic for remembering ether functional group. Chose ether one to focus on.

Sharlene Reyes 2N · Postby **Sharlene Reyes 2N** » Mon Mar 13, 2017 11:06 am

Cobie_Allen_1H · Postby **Cobie_Allen_1H** » Mon Mar 13, 2017 11:18 am

Because who does not like line structures

Abbey Kerscher 3O · Postby **Abbey Kerscher 3O** » Mon Mar 13, 2017 11:39 am

What kind of bear dissolved in water?

A polar bear!

ryan_chowdhury_2E · Postby **ryan_chowdhury_2E** » Mon Mar 13, 2017 11:58 am

What do you call tropical-scented Iron blowing in the wind?
Fe-breeze

Ashley T 2H · Postby **Ashley T 2H** » Mon Mar 13, 2017 12:07 pm

yubin moon 3c · Postby **yubin moon 3c** » Mon Mar 13, 2017 12:11 pm

Mirian_Garcia_2G · Postby **Mirian_Garcia_2G** » Mon Mar 13, 2017 12:14 pm

Mirian_Garcia_2G · Postby **Mirian_Garcia_2G** » Mon Mar 13, 2017 12:24 pm

Mirian_Garcia_2G · Postby **Mirian_Garcia_2G** » Mon Mar 13, 2017 12:27 pm

Mirian_Garcia_2G · Postby **Mirian_Garcia_2G** » Mon Mar 13, 2017 12:29 pm

Mirian_Garcia_2G · Postby **Mirian_Garcia_2G** » Mon Mar 13, 2017 12:31 pm

Helen 3C · Postby **Helen 3C** » Mon Mar 13, 2017 12:38 pm

Kaitlin_Reeves_1C · Postby **Kaitlin_Reeves_1C** » Mon Mar 13, 2017 1:09 pm

Have you heard the one about a chemist who was reading a book about helium?
He just couldn't put it down.

Erika Gonzalez 1F · Postby **Erika Gonzalez 1F** » Mon Mar 13, 2017 1:10 pm

Which three elements are most important to the practice of medicine?
He, Cm, Ba
If you can't "helium" or "curium," then you have to "barium."

Alexa_Kwang_1D · Postby **Alexa_Kwang_1D** » Mon Mar 13, 2017 1:12 pm

Why did the acid go to the gym?

To become a buffer solution!

ChristineCastanon_1B · Postby **ChristineCastanon_1B** » Mon Mar 13, 2017 1:14 pm

Photons have mass? I didn't know they were catholic!

Aya_Elarid_2H · Postby **Aya_Elarid_2H** » Mon Mar 13, 2017 1:38 pm

Why do you get when you cut an avocado into 6x10^23 pieces? A Guacamole

Selina_Han_3I · Postby **Selina_Han_3I** » Mon Mar 13, 2017 1:41 pm

What is the chemical formula for laughing gas?
HeHeHe

Makenna Vulgas 1G · Postby **Makenna Vulgas 1G** » Mon Mar 13, 2017 1:46 pm

Why does a hamburger have lower energy than a steak?
Because it's in the ground state.

Kendall_Islam_3A · Postby **Kendall_Islam_3A** » Mon Mar 13, 2017 1:49 pm

If you're not part of the solution, you're part of the precipitate.

Jasmine_Wong_2K · Postby **Jasmine_Wong_2K** » Mon Mar 13, 2017 2:00 pm

What is the chemical formula for a banana?

BaNa2

Jane Sin 3A · Postby **Jane Sin 3A** » Mon Mar 13, 2017 2:05 pm

Q: What kind of ghosts haunt chemistry faculties?
A: Methylated spirits.

Sahil Sharma 2J · Postby **Sahil Sharma 2J** » Mon Mar 13, 2017 2:24 pm

A mosquito cried out in pain:
"A chemist has poisoned my brain!"
The cause of his sorrow
was para-dichloro-
diphenyltrichloroethane.

(paraDichloroDiphenylTrichloroethane is the the full name for DDT)

Katrina_Galian 1J · Postby **Katrina_Galian 1J** » Mon Mar 13, 2017 2:26 pm

Organic chemistry is difficult. Those who study it have alkynes of trouble.

Mirian_Garcia_2G · Postby **Mirian_Garcia_2G** » Mon Mar 13, 2017 2:50 pm

Ethan_Wilson_1E · Postby **Ethan_Wilson_1E** » Mon Mar 13, 2017 3:17 pm

Brian Devlin 3B · Postby **Brian Devlin 3B** » Mon Mar 13, 2017 3:19 pm

My grade in the class

Franklin Kong 3D · Postby **Franklin Kong 3D** » Mon Mar 13, 2017 3:31 pm

I know many chemistry jokes, but I fear they may not get a good reaction.

Cindy Ngo 1E · Postby **Cindy Ngo 1E** » Mon Mar 13, 2017 4:55 pm

Q: Why did the noble gas cry?
A: Because all his friends argon

YsabelCheang1H · Postby **YsabelCheang1H** » Mon Mar 13, 2017 5:11 pm

Noor_Chahal_3G · Postby **Noor_Chahal_3G** » Mon Mar 13, 2017 5:26 pm

What is the chemical formula for "Banana"?
BaNa₂

YsabelCheang1H · Postby **YsabelCheang1H** » Mon Mar 13, 2017 5:32 pm

Why do aromatics belong in the psychiatric ward?
Because they're CYCLO
haha

Teresa_Duarte_3K · Postby **Teresa_Duarte_3K** » Mon Mar 13, 2017 5:33 pm

Jeana Wei 3C · Postby **Jeana Wei 3C** » Mon Mar 13, 2017 5:33 pm

Mindy Zhang 3F · Postby **Mindy Zhang 3F** » Mon Mar 13, 2017 5:35 pm

Q: What is the chemical formula for candy?
A: Carbon-Holmium-Cobalt-Lanthanum-Tellurium (CHoCoLaTe)!

Arielle 1I · Postby **Arielle 1I** » Mon Mar 13, 2017 8:51 pm

Ann Zhang_1M · Postby **Ann Zhang_1M** » Mon Mar 13, 2017 8:56 pm

A chemistry professor couldn't resist interjecting a little philosophy into a class lecture. He interrupted his discussion on balancing chemical equations, saying, "Remember, if you're not part of the solution, you're part of the precipitate!

ryan_chowdhury_2E · Postby **ryan_chowdhury_2E** » Mon Mar 13, 2017 9:24 pm

Why did the acid and base hit up BFIT?
-They wanted to become buffer solutions.

Zara_Joshi_3L · Postby **Zara_Joshi_3L** » Mon Mar 13, 2017 9:28 pm

Zara_Joshi_3L · Postby **Zara_Joshi_3L** » Mon Mar 13, 2017 9:29 pm

maria_tamondong_1L · Postby **maria_tamondong_1L** » Mon Mar 13, 2017 9:39 pm

Organic chemistry is difficult. Those who study it have alkynes of trouble!! lol

Julia Stinnett 2N · Postby **Julia Stinnett 2N** » Mon Mar 13, 2017 9:41 pm

Jennifer_Yee_3I · Postby **Jennifer_Yee_3I** » Mon Mar 13, 2017 10:36 pm

Did you hear about the man who got cooled to absolute zero?
He's 0K now.

Priscilla_Covarrubias_HL · Postby **Priscilla_Covarrubias_HL** » Mon Mar 13, 2017 10:43 pm

Organic Chemistry is very hard, I have alkynes trouble.lol

Melody Li 2L · Postby **Melody Li 2L** » Mon Mar 13, 2017 11:01 pm

Why did the acid go to the gym?
To become a buffer solution.

Hannah Liu 2A · Postby **Hannah Liu 2A** » Mon Mar 13, 2017 11:15 pm

Q: Are you made of Nickel and Cerium?
A: Because you are NiCe!

StephZou_2G · Postby **StephZou_2G** » Mon Mar 13, 2017 11:16 pm

Q: Why are chemists great for solving problems?
A: They have all the solutions.

Hannah Liu 2A · Postby **Hannah Liu 2A** » Mon Mar 13, 2017 11:21 pm

Q: Why is Avogadro so rich?
A: Because he's a multi-mole-ionaire!

sheilaho_1E · Postby **sheilaho_1E** » Mon Mar 13, 2017 11:37 pm

What kind of ghosts haunt chemistry faculties?

Methylated Spirits.

Calvin Huang 3D · Postby **Calvin Huang 3D** » Mon Mar 13, 2017 11:57 pm

A physicist and a biologist went on a date.

It did not go well as there was no chemistry.

Tiffany Jeng 1L · Postby **Tiffany Jeng 1L** » Tue Mar 14, 2017 12:00 am

hahahahhaha

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