Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

[Adam Perez]

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[hfrazer1B]

Q: What is "HIJKLMNO"?
A: H2O.

[hfrazer1B]

Old chemists never die, they just stop reacting.

[Janet Pham 1B]

Chair and boat conformations

[Arshia_Sabir_3E]

Organic chemistry is difficult. Those who study it have alkynes of trouble.

[Desiree Martin 2A]

Chemistry Joke :)

[Annie Tagvoryan 3A]

carbon !!

[hfrazer1B]

Q: What do you call a tooth in a glass of water?
A: One molar solution.

[hfrazer1B]

Q: Why does hamburger yield lower energy than steak?
A: Because it's in the ground state.

[hafsa_zulfiqar_1j]

[Molika Soben_3J]

As our final is getting closer, I wish everyone good luck and

[Ting Zheng 3L]

Did you know protons have mass?

I didn't even know they were Catholic!

[Keitty_Calderon_1C]

[a_jeny2E]

What do you do with a sick chemist?

If you can't helium, and you can't curium, then you might as well barium.

[Julia_Wenzel_1E]

Oxygen and Potassium went on a date...

it went OK

[Jennifer Ngo 1M]

[Tyler_Vellozzi_3E]

Don't be pH>7

[Lexy Swenson 1F]

You'd think that atoms bonding with other atoms would mean they're being friendly, but really they steal each other's electrons.
How Ionic.

A sign outside the chemistry hotel reads "Great day rates, Even better NO3's"

What do you call a periodic table with gold missing?
Au Revoir

[Kirsten Bermudo 1O]

Organic chemistry is so hard, people who take the course go through alkynes of trouble.

[tpat14]

You must be a good benzene ring because you smell pleasantly aromatic.

[tpat14]

You're like an exothermic reaction, you spread your hotness everywhere.

[Libbyfidel_1E]

Are you on spring break yet?
Na

[SarahTian3k]

If the Silver Surfer and Iron Man team up, they'd be alloys

[Colette Ussery 3L]

I'd tell you a chemistry joke, but all the good ones ARGON.

[Palmquist_Sierra_2N]

Whats the sluttiest element?
Carbon because it bonds with basically everything

[Abbey Kerscher 3O]

Q: What do you do with a sick chemist?
A: If you can't helium, and you can't curium, then you might as well barium.

[Timothy_Hyun_2K]

Wanna hear a jokes about sodium?

Na.

[Balint Nagy 3C]

Why do chemists enjoy working with ammonia?
Because it's pretty basic stuff.

[204639491]

I don't trust atoms I hear the make up everything.

[204639491]

I have my chemistry jokes.

I am just afraid they won't get a good reaction.

[204639491]

Oxygen and Potassium went on a date.....

It went OK

[Michael_Zhang_1J]

Q: Why did the hipster chemist get burned?
A: Because he touched the beaker before it was cool.

[Melissa Van Pell 2I]

Q: What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?
A: A ferrous wheel:
Fe - Fe
/ \
Fe Fe
\ /
Fe - Fe

[Natalie_Hardiman_3C]

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[Celine_Ngo_3L]

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[Valeria Quintana 1G]

true

[Celine_Ngo_3L]

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[Jaret Nishikawa]

I heard Nitrogen and Oxygen went on a date... it was NO good

[Jaret Nishikawa]

My roommate's name is Gold, Sulfur, Titanium, Nitrogen... AuSTiN lol

[Jaret Nishikawa]

What did bromine say to oxygen after they haven't seen each other in years?

BrO how are you I haven't seen you in years!

[helen_bui_2G]

Got mole problems? Call Avogadro at 602-1023

[Sonia_Lele_2K]

Did you know protons have mass? I didn't even know they were religious.

[Hannah Meacham 2A]

Two chemists go into a bar. The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O." The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" — and he died.

[Jason_Hong_2J]

What did one ion say to the other?

I've got my ion you.

[304779711]

If a king farts, is it a noble gas?

[304779711]

The cation ions are pawsitive....

[304779711]

I have many chemistry jokes... I'm just afraid they won't get a good reaction.

[Alexxa_Vasquez_3B]

All of these chem jokes are killing me, I'm diene

[Alexxa_Vasquez_3B]

free the elephant, or free energy?

[stuart_key_3E]

You can freeze yourself at -273°C and still be 0K

[stuart_key_3E]

What do you call Iron blowing in the wind?
Febreeze

[Jessica De Anda 2C]

[Morgan_McMasters_3A]

Organic Chem humor

[Jessica_Zeng_3G]

What kind of dogs do chemists have?

Laboratory retrievers!

[Gus_Guinto_2F]

[alliedavis]

[Jane Sin 3A]

Q: How many physical chemists does it take to wash a beaker?
A: None. that’s what organic chemists are for!

[Faizal_Mamani_1F]

A chemistry lab is like a big party....

Some Drop Acid,
Others Drop The Base!

[Mimi_Giang_1F]

Q: If H20 is water, what is H204?
A: Drinking, bathing, washing, swimming, etc.

[Faizal_Mamani_1F]

I hate it when people text me 'K'

Like I'm not in the mood to talk about Potassium!

[Faizal_Mamani_1F]

Wanna hear a joke about element 116?

Uuh...

[Asha_Isse_1N]

Yesterday I told a chem joke at a party, but it got no reaction

[Asha_Isse_1N]

one hydrogen atom says to another, "I think I lost an electron!"
the other states, "Are you sure?"
"i'm positive"

[204781248]

Q: What kind of fish is made out of 2 sodium atoms?
A: 2 Na

[204781248]

I asked the guy sitting next to me if he had any Sodium Hypobromite... He said "NaBrO"

[hfrazer1B]

Silver walks up to Gold in a bar and says, "AU, get outta here!"

[hfrazer1B]

Q: What did the scientist say when he found 2 isotopes of helium?
A: HeHe

[Kimberly_Hernandez_3L]

Id be a terrible photon because i cant travel light.

[Jessica_Chang_1G]

Since Easter is coming soon...

[Taravat_Lakzian_1C]

Q: What do you call a tooth in a glass of water?
A: One molar solution.

[Lindsey Lill]

Why did the bear dissolve in water?

It was a polar bear.

[ChristinaN1L]

Learning about isomers and conformations of cyclohexane

[Nicholas Appel 1F]

What did the nitrogen say when it got set up with oxygen for a date?

NO

[Tania_Torres_3O]

Two atoms are walking down the street.
Says one atom to the other, "Hey! I think I lost an electron!"
The other says, "Are you sure??"
"Yes, I'm positive!"

[Tania_Torres_3O]

Heisenberg is out for a drive when he's stopped by a traffic cop. The cop says: " Do you know how fast you were going? Heisenberg replies: "No, but I know where I am".

[Tania_Torres_3O]

What do dipoles say in passing? "Have you got a moment?"

[msrivastava_]

Q: How many moles are in a bowl of guacamole?

A: Avocado's number

[Lillian_Lai_1K]

Why did the white bear dissolve in water? Because it was polar.

[Hannah Liu 2A]

[Park_DoHy_2F]

Wait, I just all the chemistry jokes are argon!

[Christian Hardoy 3F]

Q: What do you get when you mix sulfur, tungsten, and silver?
A: SWAg

[Christian Hardoy 3F]

Q: What do you call a scientific plant?
A: Chemis-tree

[ibukunolabinjo_3J]

[Christian Hardoy 3F]

You R-O-R' get organic chemistry jokes, or you don't.

[Matthew_Vargas_2G]

[Erika Gonzalez 1F]

Jokes about Heavy elements? All I could think of was U

[Emily_Bloom_1I]

[Diana_Visco_1l]

Some simple, yet enjoyable jokes:

Every dipole has its moments.

It takes alkynes to make a world!

[vannahyazon 1L]

FOR ALL THOSE WHO'VE TAKEN 14BL/WILL TAKE IT

[vannahyazon 1L]

I wonder if anyone in the UCLA Chem Community can confirm.

[Tyler_Vellozzi_3E]

"love is in the air" Wrong. Nitrogen, Oxygen, and Carbon dioxide are in the air.

[Lauren Wong 3K]

Q: What would you call a clown in jail?
A: Silicon (Silly Con)

[Josue_Marin_3I]

What do you call an acid with attitude?


-A-mean-oh-acid

[Hannah Liu 2A]

The pessimist sees the glass as half empty. The optimist sees the glass as half full. The scientist sees the glass as completely full - half full of liquid, and half full of gas!

[gingy 1K]

lol

[gingy 1K]

literally me

[gingy 1K]

just a question...

[gingy 1K]

this was definitely my thoughts coming into class

[gingy 1K]

its a once in a lifetime thing

[gingy 1K]

lol and i'm still struggling