Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

[gingy 1K]

getting ready for finaaals

[Stephanie Demo 2N]

If you're not part of the solution, you're part of the precipitate.

[Uisa_Manumaleuna_3E]

[Samantha Rubin-Pope - 1H]

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[Samantha Rubin-Pope - 1H]

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[Ariana_Kermani_2G]

Chemist on the phone

[804748473]

Hey girl are you made of Copper and tellurium?

Because you're CuTe

[804748473]

I wanted to post a chem joke, but all the good ones argon.

[Raymond_Guan_1H]

any jokes about oxygen and potassium?

I mean they're OK. nothing special.

[804780590]

Potassium went on a date with oxygen, it went OK.

[Anya_Alag_3J]

"Hi! Nice to meet you! What's your name?"
"I'm dead."
"Am I dead, too??"
"No! My name is DiEthyl Azo Dicarboxylate! DEAD for short."

[gohar_mkrtchyan_2J]

[Karina Amezcua 1L]

When everything looks like an organic compound to you...

It’s not a stop sign, it’s not an octagon, it’s a cycloctane.

[Frank_Smith_3L]

Q: What is the chemical formula for "coffee"?
A: CoFe2

[Karina Amezcua 1L]

A cheesy joke perfect for finals weeks:

Good luck to everyone!

[melissasandoval2O]

Studying for Dr. Lavelle's chemistry final? More like stuDYING for the chemistry final.

[Karina Amezcua 1L]

Potassium went on a date with oxygen, it went OK.

I thought oxygen was dating magnesium…omg

[Ting Zheng 3L]

How did the football cheerleader define hydrophobic on her chemistry exam?

Fear of utility bills.

[HimadreeR]

[Zhiyong Xie 3K]

[Precious_Li_1D]

Q: What did one titration say to the other?
A: "Let's meet at the endpoint."

[JoseMAvila15]

9. If the Silver Surfer and Iron Man team up, they'd be alloys.

[Precious_Li_1D]

Q: What did the Mass Spectrometer say to the Gas Chromatograph?
A: Breaking up is hard to do

[JoseMAvila15]

Q: What do you get when you mix sulfur, tungsten, and silver? A: SWAG

[JoseMAvila15]

Q: Did you hear about the chemist who was reading a book about Helium? A: He just couldn't put it down.

[JoseMAvila15]

Q: How did the chemist survive the famine? A: By subsisting on titrations

[JoseMAvila15]

Q: What did one titration tell the other? A: Let's meet at the endpoint.

[JoseMAvila15]

Q: What did the bartender say when oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium, and phosphorous walked into his bar? A: OH SNaP!

[EmilyLeibovitch2E]

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[Maverick Tan 1F]

Q.Why do chemists like nitrates so much?

A.They're cheaper than day rates.

[Divya Kumar 3I]

What kind of bear dissolves in water?

A polar bear!

[Divya Kumar 3I]

H2O is water and H2O2 is hydrogen peroxide. What is H2O4?

Drinking.

[Divya Kumar 3I]

A proton and a neutron are walking down the street.
The proton says, "Wait, I dropped an electron help me look for it."
The neutron says "Are you sure?" The proton replies "I'm positive."

[Divya Kumar 3I]

Q: What kind of fish is made out of 2 sodium atoms?
A: 2 Na

[Divya Kumar 3I]

[saminah_adam]

Ferrous Wheel

[Nick_Kopooshian_3C]

I told a chemistry joke...there was no reaction

[Sangita_Sub_3H]

What was the charge when NaCl was arrested?

A salt!

[Andrew Zhong 2H]

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[Jason Slater 3I]

"BRING ME SCHRÖDINGER’S HEAD"

[Jason Slater 3I]

*Neutron* "How much for a drink?"
*Proton Bartender* "For you? No charge"
*Neutron* "Are you positive?"

[Jason Slater 3I]

How to remember the difference between Cations and Anions?
A Cat-ion is Paws-itively charged

[Nancyh_1E]

What dog breed is most suitable for chemists?
Laboratory Retrievers! :-)

[Toby Lin 1J]

[Lei Wena Herme 1O]

Chem pick up line:
If you were C6 and I was H12, all we would need is the air we breathe to be sweeter than sugar.

[Chiemeka Ezechukwu 3K]

Old chemists don’t die...


they just stop reacting.

[gracehart]

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[Randon_Zahlout_3B]

Name that Molecule! (As seen in the entrance to CS 50)

[Randon_Zahlout_3B]

Name that Molecule!
(Entrance to CS 50)

[Katelyn_Nakamura_1B]

Dr. Lavelle: Catalyst lowers.... what?
Student: A catalyst lowers the activation energy to speed up the reaction, it basically helps a reaction take a short cut...
Student athlete: Short cut? There are no short cuts on the road to success. We grind all day everyday to make our dreams a reality. There are no breaks for us because the hustle never stops. Faith, family, team.

[Hannah_El-Sabrout_2K]

I'm triene, but I'm diene (;

[gingy 1K]

guaca-mole lol

[gingy 1K]

poor reaction

[gingy 1K]

poor polar bear

[Amanda_Quintero_1K]

Q: Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?
A: To reduce his carbon footprint.

[AngelaWang_1F]

Why did the bear dissolve in water? Because he was a polar bear

[Amber_Candelaria_1D]

[stuart_key_3E]

Have you heard the one about a chemist who was reading a book about helium?
He just couldn't put it down

[Ikechukwu Ofoegbu 3D]

Q: What is "HIJKLMNO"?
A: H2O.

[AllanNicholson2F]

[Joanne_Park_4C]

[Quynh Nguyen 2H]

Why did the acid go to the gym?
To become a buffer solution.


If the Queen farts, is it a noble gas?

[emma_arago_3D]

Organic chemistry is difficult, it causes alkynes of trouble.

[Susanne_Taavitsa_2J]

Hoping to have enough potential to pass the final...

[Frankie Escobedo 3E]

Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium?
It went OK.

[Thomas Morgan 1B]

Honey, we're a galvanic cell. Can't you feel the electricity flowing between us?

[JonathanZhu3B]

How do you tell the difference between a train driver and a chemist? Ask them to pronounce Unionised.

[Rory_Grant_3E]

Q) What's a scientist's favorite plant?

A) A Chemistree

[Aleena_Sorf_2A]

Q: What do you call a tooth in a glass of water?
A: A one molar solution

[Ashley Shirriff 2F]

Q: What did the scientist say when he found 2 isotopes of helium?
A: HeHe

[Ashley Shirriff 2F]

A neutron walks into a bar and asks the bartender, "How much for a beer?" The bartender says, "For you, no charge."

[Greta Tobin 2F]

Q:What's the difference between chemistry and cooking?

A: In chemistry, you should never lick the spoon!!

[giareyes_2B]

Q: What's the name of the molecule CH2O?
A: Seawater

[Gabriela_2E]

Q: What did the thermometer say to the graduated cylinder?
A: "You may have graduated but I have many degrees."

[504829531]

Why is the pH of Youtube very stable? It constantly buffers.

[Andy_Park_1B]

Never trust atoms :(
They make up everything >__>

[Andy_Park_1B]

Chemistry is...

[F]luorine
[U]ranium
[N]itrogen

[Eljie_2F]

I have a greater chance of reaching absolute zero than getting a girlfriend.

[Katherine_Ly_1H]

What do you call a periodic table with gold missing?

Au revoir.

[Bryan Vega 2E]

-Are you the 11th element on the periodic table?




-Because you're SODIUM fine ;)

[Kimberly_Hoh_2A]

What kind of fish is made of two sodium atoms?
2Na :D

[z_hernandez_loza_3J]

People with finals later in the week.

[angelikape3k]

[Jeana Wei 3C]

[Kristine_Espinosa_2L]

Are you made of Uranium and Iodine?

Because all I can see is U and I ;)

[Rachelle_Stark_3H]

Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium? A: It went OK.

[Rachelle_Stark_3H]

The optimist sees the glass half full. The pessimist sees the glass half empty. The chemist sees the glass completely full, half with liquid and half with air.

[Rachelle_Stark_3H]

If you're not part of the solution, you're part of the precipitate.

[Rachelle_Stark_3H]

A photon checks into a hotel and is asked if he needs any help with his luggage. He says, "No, I'm traveling light."

[Rachelle_Stark_3H]

If the Silver Surfer and Iron Man team up, they'd be alloys.

[Rachelle_Stark_3H]

The name's Bond. Ionic Bond. Taken, not shared.

[Rachelle_Stark_3H]

What element is a girl's future best friend? A: Carbon.

[Andrew Nguyen 3O]

Q: Do I know the molecular formula for sodium hydride?

A: NaH.

[Helen_Lee_1L]

A photon checks into a hotel and is asked if he needs any help with his luggage. He says, "No, I'm traveling light."

[Matthew Yeganeh 3M]

[904621096]

I couldn't find any good chemistry jokes because all of the good ones Argon.

[Josue_Marin_3I]

[Amy_Dixon_1I]

Almost there!

[Lily_Dermendjian_2B]

Organic chemistry is difficult. Those who study it have alkynes of trouble.

[Hanan_Kashkoul_1O]