Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

[Kimberly_Rivera_3K]

"Hi! Nice to meet you! What's your name?"
"I'm dead."
"Am I dead, too??"
"No! My name is DiEthyl Azo Dicarboxylate! DEAD for short."

Source: https://www.quora.com/What-are-some-good-jokes-about-organic-chemistry

[Billy Ngoy 2I]

Q: What to do when a new lesson sounds like gibberish to your brain?

A: Just slow down and let the idea Zinc in.

[Susanne_Taavitsa_2J]

I will always see this as an elephant from now on.

[Tina_Keshishian_2F]

The organic chem section of the final got me diene.

[Isaiah Sandoval 1D]

Why are batteries always happy? Because they prefer acting in a positive manner.

[Jonathan Marin Dis3A]

What kind of dogs do chemist have?
Laboratory Retrievers

[Sunny Chera 1N]

[Sunny Chera 1N]

[Sandy_Kim_1K]

Q: What kind of ghosts haunt chemistry faculties?

A: Methylated spirits.

[em_farag]

[em_farag]

[em_farag]

[Jackyboy 1C]

Q: What is the show cesium and iodine love watching together?
A: CSI

[Jackyboy 1C]

Q: Anyone know any jokes about sodium?
A: Na

[Jackyboy 1C]

Making bad chemistry jokes because all the good ones Argon

[Sarah Sackey_3G]

Me right now :''''(

[ahlam_ahmed_1d]

A neutron walks into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender gives him his drink and the neutron settles down on a stool. After finishing his drink, the neutron asks 'How much for the drink?'
The bartender replies 'For you, NO CHARGE'

[Adam Perez]

element-of-surprise_272.gif (55.93 KiB) Viewed 16633 times

[Nathan Mallipeddi 2H]

Q: Why can't lawyers do NMR?
A: Bar magnets have poor homogeneity.

[Paul Sedaros 1B]

Finals week got us like

[Jagmeet_Arora_1G]

Q: What is the molecular formula for coffee?
A: CoFe2

[Zaamin Khwaja 3D]

I hope the Final goes well for everyone!

[Corey Switzler 2L]

Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium?
It went OK.

[Corey Switzler 2L]

A photon checks into a hotel and is asked if he needs any help with his luggage. He says, "No, I'm traveling light."

[Corey Switzler 2L]

Organic chemistry is difficult. Those who study it have alkynes of trouble.

[Corey Switzler 2L]

Did you hear about the man who got cooled to absolute zero?
He's 0K now.

[Corey Switzler 2L]

Why can you never trust atoms?
They make up everything

[Corey Switzler 2L]

I had to make these bad chemistry jokes because all the good ones Argon.

[Corey Switzler 2L]

Helium walks into a bar,
The bar tender says "We don't serve noble gasses in here."
Helium doesn't react.

[Melissa Ledesma 2B]

:)

[Adam Wojnar 1K]

[AlexSun2L]

Hey sodium, you know any jokes?
Na

[Kaitlin_Reeves_1C]

Q: What is the show cesium and iodine love watching together?
A: CSI

[Katherine Sung 2I]

Who is the best at making bad jokes about iodine and americium?

I AM

[YsabelCheang1H]

[ryan_chowdhury_2E]

"CHEM FINAL QUESTION #2C was doable ..."
-greatest joke of the quarter

[Shirley_Zhang 3O]

Why do sodium, carbon, hydrogen, and oxygen taste so good together?
- NaCHOs

[hojae_lee_1C]

Did you know that you can cool yourself to -273.15˚C and still be 0k?

[JD Malana]

What did the chemist say when he found 2 isotopes of Helium?
HeHe

[504754253]

I don't trust atoms... I heard they make up everything!!

[Ricky Z1D]

Source: http://www.chemistryjokes.com/jokes/wha ... -attitude/

[405060280]

Once upon a time, mama bear and baby bear went swimming in the ocean. But once they got into the water, the baby bear started to worry because he was scared that he would drown(dissolve). Then mama bear said to the baby bear, "it's ok, we are not polar."

[Ben Rolnik 1D]

Two men walk into a bar. The first says I'll get some H2O. The second man says, I'll get Some H2O too..... drinks it and dies!

H2O2 = Hydrogen peroxide

[204580382]

What did one ion say to the other?

I've got my ion you!

[Michelle Cisneros 1F]

Don't trust atoms, they make up everything.

[Michelle Cisneros 1F]

Q: What do you do with a sick chemist?
A: If you can't helium, and you can't curium, then you might as well barium.

[Michelle Cisneros 1F]

We would like to apologize for not adding more jokes... but we only update them.... periodically!

[Michelle Cisneros 1F]

Helium walks into a bar,
The bar tender says "We don't serve noble gasses in here."
Helium doesn't react

[hojae_lee_1C]

Have you heard the one about a chemist who was reading a book about helium?
He just couldn't put it down.

[hojae_lee_1C]

Q: What is the chemical formula for "coffee"?
A: CoFe2

[hojae_lee_1C]

Q: Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium?
A: It went OK.

[104730551]

Dont trust atoms, they make up everything.

[104730551]

Q: Anyone know any jokes about sodium?
A: Na

[104730551]

Im making bad chemistry jokes because all the good ones Argon.

[104730551]

Q: What kind of dogs do chemists have?
A: Laboratory Retrievers

[Amoreno Section 1E]

Q: Anyone know any jokes about sodium?
A: NA

[Amoreno Section 1E]

Q: What did the scientist say when he found two isotopes of helium?
A: HeHe

[405060280]

Are you Na because you are sodium cute

[405060280]

I asked the guy sitting next to me if he had any sodium hypobromite, he said NaBro

[405060280]

Two friends went to a bar and one of them said "may I have some H2O", and the other one said "may I have some H2O too" then he died

[204580382]

If a king farts is it a noble gas?

[Yolandia Winn 1A]

An elements letter to an ex:

I sulfur when you argon

[awidodo]

What do you call a 1000 Planck constants?
A Planckton

[smuhammad1Section1E]

Q: Anyone know any jokes about sodium?
A: Na

[smuhammad1Section1E]

Q: Why was the mole of oxygen molecules excited when he walked out of the singles bar?
A: He got Avogadro's number!

[Michelle Cisneros 1F]

Q: What element is a girl's future best friend?
A: Carbon

[Michelle Cisneros 1F]

Q: How did the chemist survive the famine?
A: By subsisting on titrations.

[Michelle Cisneros 1F]

Q: Why does hamburger yield lower energy than steak?
A: Because it's in the ground state.

[Michelle Cisneros 1F]

Q: What do you call a clown who's in jail?
A: A silicon.

[Michelle Cisneros 1F]

Q: What do you call a tooth in a glass of water?
A: One molar solution.

[aless_wu]

A photon walks into a hotel and the bellhop asks "Hey, you need help with your bags?" and the photon says "No thanks, I'm travelling light."

[Giselle Garcia 1B]

Q: Why doesn't anyone like wavelength?




A: Because it Hertz others!

[Giselle Garcia 1B]

Q: What do you call moles that go to church?

A: A Mole(r) Mass!

[Giselle Garcia 1B]

Q: How do your Neutrons feel about Dr. Lavelle's recent exam?

A: Neutral!

[Giselle Garcia 1B]

Q: Why is electron's favorite part of the day the light?

A: Light excites it!

[Chels Zh 1D]

954cb361299dbf962caaba2829ce6bd1--science-puns-chemistry-puns.jpg (10.42 KiB) Viewed 15900 times

Cation has positive charge
Cat has paws (^._.^)ﾉ

[hojae_lee_1C]

Q: What is the chemical formula for "banana"?
A: BaNa2

[hojae_lee_1C]

Helium walks into a bar,
The bar tender says "We don't serve noble gasses in here."
Helium doesn't react.

[hojae_lee_1C]

The optimist sees the glass half full.
The pessimist sees the glass half empty.
The chemist see the glass completely full, half in the liquid state and half in the vapor state.

[hojae_lee_1C]

Q: What did one ion say to the other?
A: I've got my ion you.

[Joe Rich 1D]

If you're not part of the solution, you're part of the precipitate.

[Joe Rich 1D]

A photon checks into a hotel and is asked if he needs any help with his luggage. He says, "No, I'm traveling light."

[104730551]

Q: What do you call a wheel made of iron?
A: A ferrous wheel.

[104730551]

Q: What is the name of 007's Eskimo cousin?
A: Polar Bond.

[104730551]

Q: What emotional disorder does a gas chromatograph suffer from?
A: Separation anxiety.

[104730551]

Q: If H2O is the formula for water, what is the formula for ice?
A: H2O cubed.

[Odalis Section 1E]

I would make another chemistry joke but all the good ones ARGON.

[Amoreno Section 1E]

Q: What does one ion say to the other?
A: I've got an eye ion you.

[Nancy 1B]

Q: What did the bartender say when oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium, and phosphorus walked into his bar?
A: OH SNaP!

[Jazmine Salazar]

Got mole problems? Call Avogadro at 602-1023.

[derek1d]

Q: If H2O is the formula for water, what is the formula for ice?
A: H2O cubed.

[204580382]

[405060280]

what do you do with some dead chemists?
barium.

[405060280]

what do you call a tooth in a glass of water?
a moler solution.

[405060280]

if you are not part of the solution, you are part of the precipitate

[Cynthia Pinedo 1C]

Do not trust atoms. They make up everything.

[Cynthia Pinedo 1C]

.

[smuhammad1Section1E]

"You're a 10? Maybe on the PH scale because you're basic."

I thought this was hilarious xD

[smuhammad1Section1E]

"I would make another chemistry joke but all the good ones Argon." :)

[Yolandia Winn 1A]

https://fthmb.tqn.com/NvhQ7m6ggjSwYgsQs ... o_upscale()/about/funny-science-meme-breaking-bad-58b5ae553df78cdcd89ec4b4.jpg