Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

[Selene 1K]

"Why does a hamburger yield lower energy than steak?
Because it's in ground state."

[Selene 1K]

"The name's Bond, Hydrogen Bond."

[VahagnAldzhyan]

I can't post any chemistry jokes because all the good ones Argon.

[Lily Guo 1D]

Did you know that you can cool yourself to -273.15˚C and still be 0k?

[Kendall Schemmer 1I]

Why is Polonium the grumpiest element?

Because it's always Po'ed!

[altaing]

Q: What do you call a tooth in a glass of water?

A: One molar solution!

[tiffanyteguh1C]

I don't trust atoms...

I heard they make up everything.

[Abdullah2I]

Did you know that you can cool yourself to -273.15˚C and still be 0K?

[Liam Maxwell 2E]

Helium walks into a bar,
The bar tender says "We don't serve noble gasses in here."
Helium doesn't react.

[Mila Therese Reyes 1E]

One guacamole is equal to 6.0221415x10^23 guacas. One might even call it Avocado's number.

[Mila Therese Reyes 1E]

[ChristineJimenez1J]

What element derives from a Norse [censored]?
Thorium

[ChristineJimenez1J]

What show do cesium and iodine love to watch together?
CsI

[Isa Samad 1L]

Q: What do you do with a dead chemist?

A: You BARIUM!

[Jazmine Salazar]

What did one charged atom say to the other?
I've got my ion you.

[Jazmine Salazar]

Silver walks up to Gold in a bar and says, "AU, get outta here!"

[Bill Phawn 2C]

You must be Copper and Tellurium because you are so CuTe

[704887365]

Q: What do you call a wheel made of iron?
A: A ferrous wheel.

[704887365]

Q: Why does hamburger yield lower energy than steak?
A: Because it's in the ground state.

[Sam Smoot 2L]

I asked a friend for some Sodium Hypobromite…

He said NaBrO

[Sam Smoot 2L]

Sorry...

Making bad chemistry jokes because all the good ones Argon

[Sam Smoot 2L]

Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium?

It went OK

[Kennedy Moore 1D]

What do you get when you have 10^-12 of Gallo?


Pico De Gallo >:)

[Phillip Tran]

Did you know that you can cool yourself to -273.15˚C and still be 0k?

[Phillip Tran]

What do you do with a sick chemist?


If you can't helium, and you can't curium, then you might as well barium.

[Carl Kim 1K]

Q: What did one titration say to the other?
A: "Let's meet at the endpoint."

[Carl Kim 1K]

Old chemists never die, they just stop reacting.

[Veronica Rasmusen 2B]

I try to tell chemistry jokes,
but there is no reaction :(

[Veronica Rasmusen 2B]

I don't trust atoms... they make up everything

[Nancy 1B]

Q: How come nobody at the kings table laughed when he farted?
A: Because noble gases don't cause reactions.

[Nancy 1B]

Q: What did the cow say to Molybdenum and Oxygen?
A: MoO

[Thompson W 2C]

My teacher threw Sodium Chloride at me.
That's a salt!

[Thompson W 2C]

Q: What kind of fish is made out of 2 Sodium atoms?
A: 2NA

[Brittnie Tapia 1K]

"Don't drink water while studying. Because chemistry says that concentration decreased on adding water".

[Brittnie Tapia 1K]

"Drop the base".

[Alyssa Parry Disc 1H]

Q: Why do chemists like nitrates so much?
A: They're cheaper than day rates.

[Alyssa Parry Disc 1H]

Q: I heard oxygen And magnesium were going out
A: And I was like OMg

[Derek Waters 1A]

Do you know any good sodium jokes?
Na.
You should, they’re sodium funny!

[Maya Krishnan 3E]

[Amy Zheng 2l]

what happened to all the chemistry jokes? they're argon(all gone) hahahah

[Liam Maxwell 2E]

Q: What is the name of 007's Eskimo cousin?
A: Polar Bond.

[VahagnAldzhyan]

I'm a female:
Fe= Iron
Male= Man
Therefore, I am iron man!

[VahagnAldzhyan]

How sure was that nucleus when he lost that electron?
--- He was positive.

[Sam Smoot 2L]

Sorry

[Sam Smoot 2L]

Sorry again

[Misa Belser 3C]

Little Johnny ain't going to drink no more. What he thought was H2O was H2SO4.

[Misa Belser 3C]

What kind of dogs do chemists have?
Laboratory Retrievers

[ChristineJimenez1J]

Q: What two elements do sheep belt when happy
A: BaH

[ChristineJimenez1J]

Q: Why do chemistry professors like to teach about ammonia?
A: Because it's basic material.

[Jazmine Salazar]

What kind of fish is made out of 2 sodium atoms?
2 Na

[Jazmine Salazar]

What element is a girl's future best friend?
Carbon.

[Isa Samad 1L]

Q: What do you call a tooth in a glass of water?

A: A one molar solution

[Mila Therese Reyes 1E]

What is the chemical formula for banana?
BaNa2

[Mila Therese Reyes 1E]

If the Silver Surfer and Iron Man team up, they’d be alloys.

[StephanieDoan3B]

(Not exactly a joke but a cheeky pickup line)
Can I steal an electron so you can be my +1 to _____?

[Isa Samad 1L]

Q: What do you do if you can't helium?

A: You BARIUM!

[Radha Patel 1D]

What do you do with a dead chemist?

Barium

LOL

[Radha Patel 1D]

Baby, I know chemistry...

and you’ve got one significant figure.

[704887365]

Why did the white bear dissolve in water?
Because it was polar.

[704887365]

I heard oxygen and magnesium were going out.
I was like OMg!

[Brittnie Tapia 1K]

"OMG
Did you hear that Oxygen and Magnesium are a couple?"

[Brittnie Tapia 1K]

"We have so much chemistry together"

[Maya Krishnan 3E]

When you are as stable as a Nobel gas

[Kendall Schemmer 1I]

Are you made of Copper and Tellurium?

Because you're CuTe

[Derek Waters 1A]

Q: If H2O is the formula for water, what is the formula for ice?
A: H2O cubed.

[Veronica Rasmusen 2B]

Did you hear about the guy who's temperature got down to absolute zero?
Don't worry, he's 0k.

[Veronica Rasmusen 2B]

Two scientists walk into a bar The first one says “I’ll have some H2O.” The second one says, “I’ll have some H2O too.” Then he dies.

[Selene 1K]

What do you do with a sick chemist?
If you can't helium, and you can't curium, then you might as well barium.

(courtesy of Inorganic Ventures Joke Section)

[Selene 1K]

What kind of fish is made out of 2 sodium atoms?
2 Na

(courtesy of Inorganic Ventures Joke Section)

[Shannee Mak 3F]

Why do white bears dissolve in water?

Because they're polar!

[Phillip Tran]

Why do chemistry professors like to teach about ammonia?

Because it's basic material.

[Phillip Tran]

What kind of fish is made out of 2 sodium atoms?

2Na

[Kristina Nguyen 1C]

Do you know any good sodium jokes?
Na.
You should, they’re sodium funny!

Thats so funny!!

[JamesAntonios 1E]

Chemists never die. They just reach equilibrium.

[Riya Pathare 2E]

Im bad at telling chemistry jokes because all the good ones Argon

[Swetha Sundaram 1E]

What did the scientist say when he found 2 atoms of helium?


HeHe

[ssthirkannad]

Did you know that you can cool yourself to -273.15˚C and still be 0k?

[Carl Kim 1K]

Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."
The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.

[Carl Kim 1K]

A neutron walks into a bar. He asks the bartender, "How much for a beer?" The bartender offers him a warm smile and says, "For you, no charge".

[ssthirkannad]

Why was the mole of oxygen molecules excited when he walked out of the singles bar? He got Avogadro's number!

[Sam Smoot 2L]

Yup

[VahagnAldzhyan]

Did you know that you can cool yourself to -273.15 degrees Celsius and still be 0K.

[904940852]

What kind of dogs do chemists have?
Laboratory retreavers

[Misa Belser 3C]

Did you hear oxygen and potassium went on a date? It went OK.

[Misa Belser 3C]

Not even a week later, oxygen and magnesium went out. OMg.

[Radha Patel 1D]

Q: Why did the noble gas cry?
A: Because all his friends Argon

[ChristineJimenez1J]

Q: Why did Carbon marry Hydrogen?
A: They bonded well from the minute they met .

[ChristineJimenez1J]

Q: Did you hear about the chemist who was reading a book about Helium?
A: He just couldn't put it down

[Richard Braun 1I]

Two chemists go into a bar. The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O." The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" — and he died.
(H2O2) get it haha
(hydrogen peroxide)

[Richard Braun 1I]

The optimist sees the glass half full. The pessimist sees the glass half empty. The chemist sees the glass completely full, half with liquid and half with air.

[Jazmine Salazar]

Did you know that you can cool yourself to -273.15˚C and still be 0k?

[Jazmine Salazar]

What do you call a tooth in a glass of water?
One molar solution

[Bill Phawn 2C]

What do you call an acid with an attitude?

A-mean-o acid

[Derek Waters 1A]

This is me

[Swetha Sundaram 1E]

What can eat a lot of iron without getting sick?

Rust

[Swetha Sundaram 1E]

I am a [censored], a planet, and I can measure heat? What am I?

Mercury

[Nancy 1B]

Q: Why was the mole of oxygen molecules excited when he left the singles bar?
A: Because he got Avogadro's number!

[Nancy 1B]

Q: Why does hamburger yield lower energy than steak?
A: Because it's in the ground state.

[704887365]

What is the chemical formula for a banana?
BaNa2

[704887365]

What do you call an acid with attitude?
a-MEAN-o acid