Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?
A ferrous wheel.
A ferrous wheel.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
What did the thermometer say to the graduated cylinder?
At least I have a degree
At least I have a degree
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
The optimist sees the glass half full. The pessimist sees the glass half empty. The chemist sees the glass completely full, half with liquid and half with air.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
If you aren't apart of the solution, you're apart of the precipitate
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Did you hear about the man that got cold down to absolute zero?
He’s oK now
He’s oK now
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
I had to make this bad chemistry joke because all the good ones argon
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
I would never try to poison you...
Now eat your Pb and Jelly sandwich
Now eat your Pb and Jelly sandwich
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
What did the chemist say to his crush?
You're hotter than a Bunsen burner turned up all the way.
You're hotter than a Bunsen burner turned up all the way.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Joke: “What is the difference between thermodynamics and a stick?
Answer: “A stick has two ends and no beginning. Thermodynamics has two ‘beginnings’ (the first and second law) and no end.”
Answer: “A stick has two ends and no beginning. Thermodynamics has two ‘beginnings’ (the first and second law) and no end.”
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
“There’s as many versions of the second law as there are thermodynamicists.”
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
All things, including my room, move from a state of order to disorder...
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Here's a haiku on Aluminum:
Spent kindergarten
endlessly writing your name.
One i or two i's?
Spent kindergarten
endlessly writing your name.
One i or two i's?
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Q: Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium? A: It went OK.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Q: If H2O is the formula for water, what is the formula for ice?
A: H2O cubed.
A: H2O cubed.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Two chemist walk into a pub.
The first chemist rings for the bartender and says " I will have H2O"
The second chemist asks " Why would you order water like that? We aren't at work anymore"
The first chemist later sits in an empty corner crying. His attempt to kill the other chemist was thwarted.
The first chemist rings for the bartender and says " I will have H2O"
The second chemist asks " Why would you order water like that? We aren't at work anymore"
The first chemist later sits in an empty corner crying. His attempt to kill the other chemist was thwarted.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
What did the bartender say when oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium, and phosphorous walked into his bar?
OH SNaP!
OH SNaP!
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Why does hamburger yield lower energy than steak?
Because it's in the ground state.
Because it's in the ground state.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?
He was booked for a salt and battery.
He was booked for a salt and battery.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
You'd think that atoms bonding with other atoms would mean they're being friendly, but really they steal each other's electrons.
How ionic...
How ionic...
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Why do chemists like nitrates so much?
Because they're cheaper than day rates.
Because they're cheaper than day rates.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Q: Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium?
A: It went OK.
A: It went OK.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
How do you tell the difference between a chemist and a train conductor?
Have them read "unionized"
Have them read "unionized"
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
A neutron walked into a bar and asked how much for a drink. The bartender replied, "for you, no charge."
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
"Thermodynamics just gets me so q-ed"
-Frustrated chem students everywhere
-Frustrated chem students everywhere
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Met this girl in my calculus class; funny thing is we ended up having chemistry
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Q: What is the chemical formula for candy?
A: Carbon-Holmium-Cobalt-Lanthanum-Tellurium or CHoCoLaTe
A: Carbon-Holmium-Cobalt-Lanthanum-Tellurium or CHoCoLaTe
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Q: Where does the German chemistry teacher put the used batteries of an electrolytic experiment?
A: In the zinc.
A: In the zinc.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Q: If H2O is the formula for water, what is the formula for ice?
A: H2O cubed.
A: H2O cubed.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Q: What did the bartender say when oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium, and phosphorous walked into his bar?
A: OH SNaP!
A: OH SNaP!
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Q: What do you call a tooth in a glass of water?
A: One molar solution.
A: One molar solution.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
WHy do Chemists likE niTraTes so MucH?
CUz They'rE cheAper thAn DayRatES!!
CUz They'rE cheAper thAn DayRatES!!
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Party hard in the summer, they said. So I decided to drop the base on them.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Chemistry Pickup Line:
Forget hydrogen, you’re my number one element. ;)
Forget hydrogen, you’re my number one element. ;)
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Chemistry Pickup Line:
You’re like an exothermic reaction—you spread hotness everywhere.
You’re like an exothermic reaction—you spread hotness everywhere.
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Why do chemists like nitrates so much?
They are cheaper than day rates
They are cheaper than day rates
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
A neutron walks into a bar. He asks the bartender, "How much for a beer?" The bartender offers him a warm smile and says, "For you, no charge".
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Why do chemists enjoy working with ammonia? Because it's pretty basic stuff.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Organic chemistry is difficult. Those who study it have alkynes of trouble.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
A neutron walks into a bar.
He asks the bartender, "How much for a beer?"
The bartender smiles and says, "For you, no charge."
He asks the bartender, "How much for a beer?"
The bartender smiles and says, "For you, no charge."
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Did you know that you can cool yourself to -273.15˚C and still be 0k?
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Q: Why does hamburger yield lower energy than steak?
A: Because it's in the ground state.
A: Because it's in the ground state.
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- Joined: Fri Sep 29, 2017 7:04 am
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
If you're not part of the solution, you're part of the precipitate.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
"Do you know what Sin City is?"
"Yeah, that's Las Vegas."
"Well, do you know what Den City is?"
"No."
"Mass over Volume."
"Yeah, that's Las Vegas."
"Well, do you know what Den City is?"
"No."
"Mass over Volume."
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Why do chemists enjoy working with ammonia? Because it's pretty basic stuff.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
What happened to the man stopped for having sodium chloride and a 9-volt in his car? He was booked for a salt and battery.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
A photon checks into a hotel and is asked if he needs any help with his luggage. He says, "No, I'm traveling light."
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