Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Wenxin Fan 1J · Postby **Wenxin Fan 1J** » Fri Jan 12, 2018 8:51 pm

What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?

A ferrous wheel.

Seth So · Postby **Seth So** » Fri Jan 12, 2018 11:23 pm

Seth So · Postby **Seth So** » Fri Jan 12, 2018 11:25 pm

Seth So · Postby **Seth So** » Fri Jan 12, 2018 11:36 pm

My teacher threw sodium chloride at me...

That's a salt

Phillip Tran · Postby **Phillip Tran** » Fri Jan 12, 2018 11:42 pm

What kind of fish is made out of two sodium atoms?

2 Na

Phillip Tran · Postby **Phillip Tran** » Fri Jan 12, 2018 11:44 pm

If a king farts, is it a noble gas?

Phillip Tran · Postby **Phillip Tran** » Fri Jan 12, 2018 11:50 pm

What did the thermometer say to the graduated cylinder?

At least I have a degree

Mariane Sanchez 1E · Postby **Mariane Sanchez 1E** » Sat Jan 13, 2018 9:44 am

The optimist sees the glass half full. The pessimist sees the glass half empty. The chemist sees the glass completely full, half with liquid and half with air.

Evelyn L 1H · Postby **Evelyn L 1H** » Sat Jan 13, 2018 12:39 pm

Evelyn L 1H · Postby **Evelyn L 1H** » Sat Jan 13, 2018 12:40 pm

RohanGupta1G · Postby **RohanGupta1G** » Sat Jan 13, 2018 12:49 pm

If you aren't apart of the solution, you're apart of the precipitate

904940852 · Postby **904940852** » Sat Jan 13, 2018 5:05 pm

You can’t trust atoms, they make everything up

904940852 · Postby **904940852** » Sat Jan 13, 2018 5:06 pm

Did you hear about the man that got cold down to absolute zero?
He’s oK now

904940852 · Postby **904940852** » Sat Jan 13, 2018 5:08 pm

I had to make this bad chemistry joke because all the good ones argon

ChristineJimenez1J · Postby **ChristineJimenez1J** » Sat Jan 13, 2018 10:17 pm

What element derives from a Norse [censored] ?
Thorium

ChristineJimenez1J · Postby **ChristineJimenez1J** » Sat Jan 13, 2018 10:18 pm

What show do Cesium and Iodine love to watch together?
CsI

Jesus Rodriguez 1J · Postby **Jesus Rodriguez 1J** » Sun Jan 14, 2018 8:19 am

Don't tell jokes to noble gases

You'll get no reaction

Jesus Rodriguez 1J · Postby **Jesus Rodriguez 1J** » Sun Jan 14, 2018 8:23 am

I would never try to poison you...

Now eat your Pb and Jelly sandwich

Karen Zheng_2K · Postby **Karen Zheng_2K** » Sun Jan 14, 2018 2:39 pm

Karen Zheng_2K · Postby **Karen Zheng_2K** » Sun Jan 14, 2018 2:40 pm

What kind of dog do chemists have?

A laboratory retriever.

Karen Zheng_2K · Postby **Karen Zheng_2K** » Sun Jan 14, 2018 2:40 pm

Karen Zheng_2K · Postby **Karen Zheng_2K** » Sun Jan 14, 2018 2:40 pm

Annie Lieu-1H · Postby **Annie Lieu-1H** » Sun Jan 14, 2018 6:29 pm

i love chemicals

Sarah Wax 1G · Postby **Sarah Wax 1G** » Sun Jan 14, 2018 6:39 pm

What did the chemist say to his crush?
You're hotter than a Bunsen burner turned up all the way.

Richard Braun 1I · Postby **Richard Braun 1I** » Sun Jan 14, 2018 8:38 pm

Joke: “What is the difference between thermodynamics and a stick?

Answer: “A stick has two ends and no beginning. Thermodynamics has two ‘beginnings’ (the first and second law) and no end.”

Richard Braun 1I · Postby **Richard Braun 1I** » Sun Jan 14, 2018 8:40 pm

“There’s as many versions of the second law as there are thermodynamicists.”

Richard Braun 1I · Postby **Richard Braun 1I** » Sun Jan 14, 2018 8:41 pm

All things, including my room, move from a state of order to disorder...

Caitlin Mispagel 1D · Postby **Caitlin Mispagel 1D** » Sun Jan 14, 2018 9:44 pm

What do you call an acid with an attitude?
A-mean-oh acid

Caitlin Mispagel 1D · Postby **Caitlin Mispagel 1D** » Sun Jan 14, 2018 9:49 pm

Karissa Newberry · Postby **Karissa Newberry** » Sun Jan 14, 2018 10:13 pm

Making bad chemistry jokes because all the good ones Argon

Karissa Newberry · Postby **Karissa Newberry** » Sun Jan 14, 2018 10:18 pm

How many moles are in a guacamole?

Avocado's number.

juchung7 · Postby **juchung7** » Sun Jan 14, 2018 10:24 pm

What element derives from a Norse [censored]? Thorium.

juchung7 · Postby **juchung7** » Sun Jan 14, 2018 10:42 pm

Q: What fruit contains Barium and double Sodium? A: BaNaNa!

aTirumalai-1I · Postby **aTirumalai-1I** » Wed Jan 17, 2018 9:29 pm

Here's a haiku on Aluminum:

Spent kindergarten
endlessly writing your name.
One i or two i's?

Carl Kim 1K · Postby **Carl Kim 1K** » Thu Jan 18, 2018 12:15 am

Q: Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium? A: It went OK.

Carl Kim 1K · Postby **Carl Kim 1K** » Thu Jan 18, 2018 12:16 am

Q: If H2O is the formula for water, what is the formula for ice?
A: H2O cubed.

Carl Kim 1K · Postby **Carl Kim 1K** » Thu Jan 18, 2018 12:16 am

Q: What do you call a clown who's in jail?
A: A silicon.

Meghna2A · Postby **Meghna2A** » Thu Jan 18, 2018 2:53 pm

Two chemist walk into a pub.
The first chemist rings for the bartender and says " I will have H2O"
The second chemist asks " Why would you order water like that? We aren't at work anymore"

The first chemist later sits in an empty corner crying. His attempt to kill the other chemist was thwarted.

Meghna2A · Postby **Meghna2A** » Thu Jan 18, 2018 2:57 pm

What did Chloride say when dragged by sodium?
"This is a salt"

Meghna2A · Postby **Meghna2A** » Thu Jan 18, 2018 2:58 pm

I try to tell Chemistry Jokes. But there is no Reaction

ssthirkannad · Postby **ssthirkannad** » Thu Jan 18, 2018 4:31 pm

What did the bartender say when oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium, and phosphorous walked into his bar?
OH SNaP!

ssthirkannad · Postby **ssthirkannad** » Thu Jan 18, 2018 4:32 pm

What do you call a tooth in a glass of water?
One molar solution.

ssthirkannad · Postby **ssthirkannad** » Thu Jan 18, 2018 4:33 pm

Why does hamburger yield lower energy than steak?
Because it's in the ground state.

ssthirkannad · Postby **ssthirkannad** » Thu Jan 18, 2018 4:33 pm

Old chemists never die, they just stop reacting.

ssthirkannad · Postby **ssthirkannad** » Thu Jan 18, 2018 4:34 pm

What's new?
C over lambda

ssthirkannad · Postby **ssthirkannad** » Thu Jan 18, 2018 4:35 pm

What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?
He was booked for a salt and battery.

Paula Sing 1J · Postby **Paula Sing 1J** » Fri Jan 19, 2018 11:28 am

hojae_lee_1C · Postby **hojae_lee_1C** » Fri Jan 19, 2018 12:18 pm

You'd think that atoms bonding with other atoms would mean they're being friendly, but really they steal each other's electrons.
How ionic...

hojae_lee_1C · Postby **hojae_lee_1C** » Fri Jan 19, 2018 12:39 pm

I'm reading a chemistry book about helium.
I can't put it down.

hojae_lee_1C · Postby **hojae_lee_1C** » Fri Jan 19, 2018 1:02 pm

Why do chemists like nitrates so much?
Because they're cheaper than day rates.

ChristineJimenez1J · Postby **ChristineJimenez1J** » Fri Jan 19, 2018 4:54 pm

Don't trust atoms, they make up everything.

ChristineJimenez1J · Postby **ChristineJimenez1J** » Fri Jan 19, 2018 4:54 pm

Q: Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium?
A: It went OK.

LMendoza 2I · Postby **LMendoza 2I** » Fri Jan 19, 2018 8:05 pm

If Avogadro calls, tell him to leave his number.

Seth So · Postby **Seth So** » Fri Jan 19, 2018 11:49 pm

Seth So · Postby **Seth So** » Fri Jan 19, 2018 11:50 pm

: PIC2.jpg (18.17 KiB) Viewed 10659 times

: PIC2.jpg (18.17 KiB) Viewed 10659 times

Seth So · Postby **Seth So** » Fri Jan 19, 2018 11:51 pm

Sara Sasaki 1K · Postby **Sara Sasaki 1K** » Sat Jan 20, 2018 4:00 am

Sara Sasaki 1K · Postby **Sara Sasaki 1K** » Sat Jan 20, 2018 4:02 am

Connor Kelligrew 2D · Postby **Connor Kelligrew 2D** » Sat Jan 20, 2018 6:25 pm

How do you tell the difference between a chemist and a train conductor?

Have them read "unionized"

Liz White 1K · Postby **Liz White 1K** » Sat Jan 20, 2018 7:43 pm

The base is under a salt.

Mariane Sanchez 1E · Postby **Mariane Sanchez 1E** » Sun Jan 21, 2018 12:09 am

A neutron walked into a bar and asked how much for a drink. The bartender replied, "for you, no charge."

Tiffany 1B · Postby **Tiffany 1B** » Sun Jan 21, 2018 2:49 am

"Thermodynamics just gets me so q-ed"
-Frustrated chem students everywhere

Arjun Sharma 1D · Postby **Arjun Sharma 1D** » Sun Jan 21, 2018 5:17 pm

Met this girl in my calculus class; funny thing is we ended up having chemistry

Karissa Newberry · Postby **Karissa Newberry** » Sun Jan 21, 2018 9:43 pm

Q: What is the chemical formula for candy?
A: Carbon-Holmium-Cobalt-Lanthanum-Tellurium or CHoCoLaTe

Karissa Newberry · Postby **Karissa Newberry** » Sun Jan 21, 2018 9:44 pm

Q: What is the name of the molecule CH2O?
A: Seawater

Karissa Newberry · Postby **Karissa Newberry** » Sun Jan 21, 2018 9:45 pm

Q: Where does the German chemistry teacher put the used batteries of an electrolytic experiment?
A: In the zinc.

Isa Samad 1L · Postby **Isa Samad 1L** » Sun Jan 21, 2018 10:04 pm

What do you call an acid with an attitude?

A: A-mean-oh acid

Thompson W 2C · Postby **Thompson W 2C** » Sun Jan 21, 2018 10:34 pm

Q: If H2O is the formula for water, what is the formula for ice?
A: H2O cubed.

Thompson W 2C · Postby **Thompson W 2C** » Sun Jan 21, 2018 10:35 pm

Q: What did the bartender say when oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium, and phosphorous walked into his bar?
A: OH SNaP!

Thompson W 2C · Postby **Thompson W 2C** » Sun Jan 21, 2018 10:35 pm

Q: What do you call a tooth in a glass of water?
A: One molar solution.

Daniel Vo 1B · Postby **Daniel Vo 1B** » Sun Jan 21, 2018 11:18 pm

WHy do Chemists likE niTraTes so MucH?

CUz They'rE cheAper thAn DayRatES!!

Kristin Ishaya 1A · Postby **Kristin Ishaya 1A** » Sun Jan 21, 2018 11:30 pm

Party hard in the summer, they said. So I decided to drop the base on them.

Josh Moy 1H · Postby **Josh Moy 1H** » Sun Jan 21, 2018 11:31 pm

An electron went on a date, it was electric

Kristin Ishaya 1A · Postby **Kristin Ishaya 1A** » Sun Jan 21, 2018 11:53 pm

Chemistry Pickup Line:

Forget hydrogen, you’re my number one element. ;)

Kristin Ishaya 1A · Postby **Kristin Ishaya 1A** » Sun Jan 21, 2018 11:54 pm

Chemistry Pickup Line:

You’re like an exothermic reaction—you spread hotness everywhere.

904940852 · Postby **904940852** » Mon Jan 22, 2018 1:23 am

Why do chemists like nitrates so much?
They are cheaper than day rates

904940852 · Postby **904940852** » Mon Jan 22, 2018 1:24 am

What is the chemical formula for banana?
BaNa2

cbercik · Postby **cbercik** » Mon Jan 22, 2018 9:26 am

A neutron walks into a bar. He asks the bartender, "How much for a beer?" The bartender offers him a warm smile and says, "For you, no charge".

cbercik · Postby **cbercik** » Mon Jan 22, 2018 9:27 am

Q: What kind of fish is made out of 2 sodium atoms?
A: 2 Na

Richard Braun 1I · Postby **Richard Braun 1I** » Mon Jan 22, 2018 2:32 pm

Old chemists never die, they just stop reacting.

Richard Braun 1I · Postby **Richard Braun 1I** » Mon Jan 22, 2018 2:33 pm

What is the chemical formula of coffee? CoFe2

Richard Braun 1I · Postby **Richard Braun 1I** » Mon Jan 22, 2018 2:33 pm

What is the chemical formula for a banana? BaNa2

Richard Braun 1I · Postby **Richard Braun 1I** » Mon Jan 22, 2018 2:33 pm

What should do you do with a dead Chemist? Barium!

Richard Braun 1I · Postby **Richard Braun 1I** » Mon Jan 22, 2018 2:34 pm

What did one charged atom say to the other? I've got my ion you.

Richard Braun 1I · Postby **Richard Braun 1I** » Mon Jan 22, 2018 2:34 pm

Why do chemists enjoy working with ammonia? Because it's pretty basic stuff.

Thompson W 2C · Postby **Thompson W 2C** » Tue Jan 23, 2018 4:10 pm

Q: What kind of dogs do chemists have?
A: Laboratory Retrievers

Thompson W 2C · Postby **Thompson W 2C** » Tue Jan 23, 2018 4:12 pm

Q: What do you call a clown who's in jail?
A: A silicon.

mhuang 1E · Postby **mhuang 1E** » Tue Jan 23, 2018 6:34 pm

I'd tell a chemistry joke, but I know I wouldn't get a rxn.

JamesAntonios 1E · Postby **JamesAntonios 1E** » Tue Jan 23, 2018 8:40 pm

Organic chemistry is difficult. Those who study it have alkynes of trouble.

Jennifer Ho 1K · Postby **Jennifer Ho 1K** » Tue Jan 23, 2018 11:14 pm

A neutron walks into a bar.
He asks the bartender, "How much for a beer?"
The bartender smiles and says, "For you, no charge."

rkusampudi · Postby **rkusampudi** » Wed Jan 24, 2018 4:37 pm

Did you know that you can cool yourself to -273.15˚C and still be 0k?

rkusampudi · Postby **rkusampudi** » Wed Jan 24, 2018 4:39 pm

Q: Why does hamburger yield lower energy than steak?
A: Because it's in the ground state.

rkusampudi · Postby **rkusampudi** » Wed Jan 24, 2018 4:39 pm

If you're not part of the solution, you're part of the precipitate.

Liz White 1K · Postby **Liz White 1K** » Wed Jan 24, 2018 10:51 pm

: chemistry_joke_poster-r4f307c8a4a094e24b2bf07f8fcd1e116_wvk_8byvr_324.jpg (24.98 KiB) Viewed 10525 times

heheheheheheheh

Paula Sing 1J · Postby **Paula Sing 1J** » Wed Jan 24, 2018 10:56 pm

heheheheheheh

Jennifer Ho 1K · Postby **Jennifer Ho 1K** » Fri Jan 26, 2018 1:01 am

"Do you know what Sin City is?"
"Yeah, that's Las Vegas."
"Well, do you know what Den City is?"
"No."
"Mass over Volume."

Carl Kim 1K · Postby **Carl Kim 1K** » Fri Jan 26, 2018 9:57 am

What is the chemical formula of coffee? CoFe2

Carl Kim 1K · Postby **Carl Kim 1K** » Fri Jan 26, 2018 9:58 am

Why do chemists enjoy working with ammonia? Because it's pretty basic stuff.

Carl Kim 1K · Postby **Carl Kim 1K** » Fri Jan 26, 2018 9:58 am

What happened to the man stopped for having sodium chloride and a 9-volt in his car? He was booked for a salt and battery.

Brenda K 1J · Postby **Brenda K 1J** » Fri Jan 26, 2018 10:06 am

A photon checks into a hotel and is asked if he needs any help with his luggage. He says, "No, I'm traveling light."

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