Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Two atoms are walking together.
One of the atoms starts panicking. "I think I lost an electron!" He cried. "Are you sure?" Said the other. "Yes! I'm positive!"
One of the atoms starts panicking. "I think I lost an electron!" He cried. "Are you sure?" Said the other. "Yes! I'm positive!"
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Argon walks into a bar. The barman says, “We don’t serve noble gases in here!" Argon doesn’t react.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
I have many chemistry jokes. I'm just afraid they wont get a good reaction
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
a chemistry lab is like a big party. some drop acid. others drop the base
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Q: Did you hear about the man who got cooled to absolute zero?
A: He's 0K now
A: He's 0K now
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Two chemists go into a bar. The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O." The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" and he died.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
The optimist sees the glass half full. The pessimist sees the glass half empty. The chemist sees the glass completely full, half with liquid and half with air.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
A photon checks into a hotel and is asked if he needs any help with his luggage. He says, "No, I'm traveling light."
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Did you know that you can cool yourself to -273.15˚C and still be 0k?
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
You disagree with my hypothesis?
Well Fluorine Uranium Carbon Potassium you.
Well Fluorine Uranium Carbon Potassium you.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Everyone keeps saying all the good chem jokes argon...
But I don't zinc so.
But I don't zinc so.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Valentine’s Day is coming up, so here’s a cute science love song filled with a bunch of puns. ;)
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=pocNl2YhZdM
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=pocNl2YhZdM
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
What is one element not there on the periodic table?
The element of surprise.
The element of surprise.
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Optimist: The glass is half full
Pessimist: The glass is half empty
Realist: The glass has water.
Chemist: The glass contains 50% H2O (l), 39%N2 (g), 10.5% O2(g), 0.44% Ar (g) and 0.06%CO2 (g)
Pessimist: The glass is half empty
Realist: The glass has water.
Chemist: The glass contains 50% H2O (l), 39%N2 (g), 10.5% O2(g), 0.44% Ar (g) and 0.06%CO2 (g)
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Why do chemists like nitrates so much?
They're cheaper than day rates.
They're cheaper than day rates.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
What's the difference between chemistry and physics?
Physics always wants to be the big man !!!
Physics always wants to be the big man !!!
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Q: Did you hear about the man who got cooled to absolute zero?
A: He's 0K now
A: He's 0K now
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Neon was cracking up so much he was like
"That was sodium funny. I slapped my neon that one!"
"That was sodium funny. I slapped my neon that one!"
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
An ion dropped an electron on the street, his buddy asked him if he was sure
"Yeah, I'm positive"
"Yeah, I'm positive"
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Two chemists walk into a bar. The first one orders "HIJKLMNO." The second chemists asks him what the [censored] does he mean. The first says, it's h to o, yah dingus.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
The optimist sees the glass half full.
The pessimist sees the glass half empty.
The chemist see the glass completely full, half in the liquid state and half in the vapor state.
The pessimist sees the glass half empty.
The chemist see the glass completely full, half in the liquid state and half in the vapor state.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Who did the amino acid cheat on his girlfriend with?
His side chain
His side chain
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
What did a father tell his son when he woke him up?
Up 'n atom, son!
Up 'n atom, son!
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Why was the chemist arrested?
He was charged for a salt and battery at the store
He was charged for a salt and battery at the store
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
What do you call a measuring device with degrees?
A graduated cylinder
A graduated cylinder
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Chemists make really bad DJs. They take extra care not to drop the base.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Helium walks into a bar. Argon hits him with a bar stool. Helium doesn’t react.
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carbon tetrafluoride
"Look mom! a Carbon tetrafluoride!"
Report card:
Math: C
History: F
English: F
Chemistry: F
PE: F
Report card:
Math: C
History: F
English: F
Chemistry: F
PE: F
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Credit my awesome (single) cousin (818)-963-3909
WHAT ELEMENT IS THE PROFESSOR MADE OUT OF?
BORON
LMAO
WHAT ELEMENT IS THE PROFESSOR MADE OUT OF?
BORON
LMAO
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
What Do You Get When You Cut An Avocado Into 6X10^23 Pieces?
Guacamole
Guacamole
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Did you know that you can cool yourself to -273.15 C and still be 0K?
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Did you know that you can cool yourself to -273.15˚C and still be 0k?
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
H2O is water and H2O2 is hydrogen peroxide. What is H2O4?
Drinking.
Drinking.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
If you're not part of the solution, you're part of the precipitate!
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
A line I used with my boyfriend:
"You know, I usually hate chemistry, but I love having chemistry with you."
"You know, I usually hate chemistry, but I love having chemistry with you."
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium?
I heard it went OK.
I heard it went OK.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Fun fact: Josiah Gibbs was a Swiftie.
Haters gonna hate Taylor Swift=> ΔG=ΔH−TΔS
Haters gonna hate Taylor Swift=> ΔG=ΔH−TΔS
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
honest question here, does posting in the chem jokes section count as a weekly post that we can get credit for?
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Did you know that you can cool yourself to -273.15˚C and still be 0k?
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- Joined: Thu Jul 13, 2017 3:00 am
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Why do chemists like nitrates so much?
They're cheaper than day rates.
They're cheaper than day rates.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
When one physicist asks another, "What's new?" what's the typical response?
C over lambda
C over lambda
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Have you heard the one about a chemist who was reading a book about helium?
He just couldn't put it down.
He just couldn't put it down.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Q: What do you do with a sick chemist?
A: If you can't helium, and you can't curium, then you might as well barium.
A: If you can't helium, and you can't curium, then you might as well barium.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Q: What did the scientist say when he found 2 isotopes of helium?
A: HeHe
A: HeHe
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
When I'm with you I feel like unsaturated butter because you make my heart melt.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Are you *oxo* because you're the -one for me <3 <3 <3
live love lavelle
live love lavelle
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Are you a high intensity photon? Because you put me into an excited state. <3 <3 <3
live lovelle laugh
live lovelle laugh
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Q: What does the leader of an electron army say when they go to war?
A: CHARGE!
A: CHARGE!
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Me: My favorite jokes are about Cobalt, Radon, and Yttrium.
Person: Why's that?
Me: Because I love CoRnY chemistry jokes.
Person: Why's that?
Me: Because I love CoRnY chemistry jokes.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Joke: “What is the difference between thermodynamics and a stick?
Answer: “A stick has two ends and no beginning. Thermodynamics has two ‘beginnings’ (the first and second law) and no end.”
Answer: “A stick has two ends and no beginning. Thermodynamics has two ‘beginnings’ (the first and second law) and no end.”
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Q: What do you get when you mix sulfur, tungsten, and silver? A: SWAG
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