Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Q: Did you hear about the man who got cooled to absolute zero? A: He's 0K now.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Q: Why do chemists call helium, curium, and barium the healing elements? A: Because if you can't helium or curium, you barium!
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Q: Why did the acid go to the gym? A: To become a buffer solution!
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
What do you do with a sick chemist?
If you can't helium and you can't curium, you might as well barium.
If you can't helium and you can't curium, you might as well barium.
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Organic chemistry is difficult.
Those who study it have alkynes of trouble.
Those who study it have alkynes of trouble.
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Why do you go to jail for throwing Sodium Chloride at somebody?
Because it's a salt
Because it's a salt
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Did you know that oxygen went for a second date with potassium?
It went OK!
It went OK!
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Why do chemists like nitrates so much?
They're cheaper than day rates.
They're cheaper than day rates.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Q: What is the show cesium and iodine love watching together?
A: CSI
A: CSI
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Q: What did the scientist say when he found 2 isotopes of helium?
A: HeHe
A: HeHe
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
What did the Fe2+ say to the H+ that turned into H2?
"I'm sorry I reduced you! I swear it was an oxidant!"
"I'm sorry I reduced you! I swear it was an oxidant!"
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
I try to tell chemistry jokes, but sometimes there's just no reaction.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Why does hamburger yield lower energy than steak? Because it's in the ground state.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Since, Valentine's Day is coming up, here's a nice Chemistry Pick-Up Line
Are you made of copper and tellurium? Because you're CuTe.
Are you made of copper and tellurium? Because you're CuTe.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Thermodynamics:
First Law: You can't get anything without working for it.
Second Law: The most you can accomplish by work is to break even.
Third Law: You can't break even.
First Law: You can't get anything without working for it.
Second Law: The most you can accomplish by work is to break even.
Third Law: You can't break even.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
The first rule of thermodynamics is you don't talk about thermodynamics
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Did you hear? Oxygen and Magnesium are totally going out. It's like, OMg.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Did you know that you can cool yourself to -273.15 degrees Celsius and still be 0K?
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
why do chemists like nitrates so much?
because its cheaper than day rates
because its cheaper than day rates
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
I asked the guy sitting next to me if he had any Sodium Hypobromite…
He said NaBrO
He said NaBrO
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Q: If H20 is water, what is H204?
A: Drinking, bathing, washing, swimming, etc.
A: Drinking, bathing, washing, swimming, etc.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
A photon checks into a hotel and is asked if he needs any help with his luggage. He says, "No, I'm traveling light."
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Little Willie was a chemist. Little Willie is no more. What he thought was H2O was H2SO4.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
what did one cell say to his sister cell that stepped on his toe?
mitosis
mitosis
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Why do chemists enjoy working with ammonia?
Because it's pretty basic stuff.
Because it's pretty basic stuff.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Florence Flask was getting ready for the opera. All of a sudden, she screamed: "Erlenmeyer, my joules! Somebody has stolen my joules!" The husband replied, "Calm down, honey. We'll find a solution."
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
It's so exciting when multiple electrons gather in the bar.
Why?
Because it's so charged with energy.
Why?
Because it's so charged with energy.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
If you're not part of the solution, you're part of the precipitate.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
A photon goes through a hotel. They offer to take his bags. He says he has none, he's traveling light.
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Did you know that you can cool yourself to -273.15˚C and still be 0[i][i][i]K?[/i][/i][/i]
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Electron: I have a problem man. I think I might be a compulsive liar...
Proton: Are you positive?
Electron: Yeah.
Proton: I guess you are a liar.
Proton: Are you positive?
Electron: Yeah.
Proton: I guess you are a liar.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
"What's the difference between a proton and an electron?"
"I'm not positive, but I think a proton is..."
"I'm not positive, but I think a proton is..."
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
"Want to talk about Sodium?"
----Na.
"Nitric Oxide?"
----NO.
"Oxygen, Magnesium, Phosphorous, Iodine, Sulfur, or Fluorine?"
----OMg PIS OFF.
"...Potassium?"
----K.
----Na.
"Nitric Oxide?"
----NO.
"Oxygen, Magnesium, Phosphorous, Iodine, Sulfur, or Fluorine?"
----OMg PIS OFF.
"...Potassium?"
----K.
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
What happens to nitrogen when the sun rises?
It becomes daytrogen :3
It becomes daytrogen :3
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Disclaimer: A Corny Acid-Base joke
What did H2PO4- say to H2O?
"Why you gotta be so BiPoLaAr!"
Water: "As an amphoteric molecule, I like to have multiple affairs!"
H2PO4-: "Can't believe I am dating a weirdo."
What did H2PO4- say to H2O?
"Why you gotta be so BiPoLaAr!"
Water: "As an amphoteric molecule, I like to have multiple affairs!"
H2PO4-: "Can't believe I am dating a weirdo."
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
I heard O-chem is difficult. Those who study it have alkynes of trouble.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
What do you do with a sick chemist?
If you can't helium, and you can't curium, then you might as well barium.
If you can't helium, and you can't curium, then you might as well barium.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
f H2O is the formula for water, what is the formula for ice? H2O cubed ;)
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Why do chemists enjoy working with ammonia?
Because it's pretty basic stuff.
Because it's pretty basic stuff.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Some guy tried to sell me sand for a thousand bucks yesterday...
It was such a silicon.
It was such a silicon.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Gold walks into a bar, but the barman wasn't having it.
"Au", he shouts, "get outta here!"
"Au", he shouts, "get outta here!"
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
why are chemists great for solving problems?
a: they have all the solutions.
a: they have all the solutions.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Did you know that oxygen went for a second date with potassium?
How did it go?
It went OK2!
How did it go?
It went OK2!
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Why do chemists like nitrates so much?
They're cheaper than day rates.
They're cheaper than day rates.
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- Joined: Fri Sep 29, 2017 7:05 am
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
I asked the guy sitting next to me if he had any Sodium Hypobromite…
He said NaBrO
He said NaBrO
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
You would think atoms bonding with other atoms would mean they're being friendly, but really they steal each other's electrons. How ionic
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
What kind of dogs would chemistry teachers have?
Laboratory retrievers!
Laboratory retrievers!
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Did you know you can your cool yourself to -273.15C and still be 0k?
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Why did the chemist coat his shoes with silicone?
-He wanted to reduce his carbon footprint.
-He wanted to reduce his carbon footprint.
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