Chemistry Joke

[Jonathan Orozco 1A]

Question: Why does hamburger have less energy than steak?

Answer: Because it's in the ground state.

[Aileen Nguyen 3N]

Great joke!
However, you're supposed to post all chemistry jokes here:
viewtopic.php?f=156&t=4291

[Sebastian]

I would write a chemistry joke but all of the good ones Argon.

[Sam Smoot 2L]

post

[Sam Smoot 2L]

post

[Sam Smoot 2L]

post

[Karen Zheng_2K]

What kind of dogs do chemists have?





Laboratory retrievers

[Karen Zheng_2K]

Why did the polar bear dissolve in water?




Because it was polar.

[Sam Smoot 2L]

Q: Why do chemists call helium, curium and barium the medical elements?
A: Because if you can’t helium or curium, you barium!

[Sam Smoot 2L]

Organic chemistry is difficult. It causes alkynes of problems.

[Sam Smoot 2L]

Q: What do you call a clown in prison?
A: Silicon

[Sam Smoot 2L]

Technically speaking...

Alcohol is a solution

[Josh Moy 1H]

if you aren't part of the solution you're part of the precipitate

[Karen Zheng_2K]

.

[Karen Zheng_2K]

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[Karen Zheng_2K]

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[Karen Zheng_2K]

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[Karen Zheng_2K]

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[Karen Zheng_2K]

when you spill water all over your laptop :(

[Karen Zheng_2K]

.

[Karen Zheng_2K]

.

[Karen Zheng_2K]

.

[Karen Zheng_2K]

.

[Karen Zheng_2K]

rip vday

[Karen Zheng_2K]

.

[Josh Moy 1H]

These are some funny jokes!!

[Josh Moy 1H]

Did you gain an electron because I’m starting to feel some charge

[Josh Moy 1H]

What did the basic DJ say?

Drop the base!!!

[hojae_lee_1C]

Q: Why do chemistry students do well when working with ammonia?
A: Because it's pretty basic stuff.

[hojae_lee_1C]

Q: What do you do with a sick chemist?
A: If you can't helium and you can't curium, then you may as well barium.

[hojae_lee_1C]

Two atoms are walking down the street.
One of them shouts, "Hey! I think I lost an electron!"
The other inquires, "Are you sure?"
"Yes, I'm positive!"

[hojae_lee_1C]

The best thing about learning equilibrium is that nothing changes.

[hojae_lee_1C]

Q: Why does hamburger yield lower energy than steak?
A: Because it's in the ground state.

[hojae_lee_1C]

Q: Why does the army use acid?
A: To neutralize the enemy base.

[Karen Zheng_2K]

What is the chemical formula for "banana"?
BaNa2

[Karen Zheng_2K]

What do you do with a sick chemist?
If you can't helium, and you can't curium, then you might as well barium.

[Karen Zheng_2K]

If the Silver Surfer and Iron Man team up, they’d be alloys.

[Karen Zheng_2K]

Anyone know any jokes about sodium?
Na.

[Karen Zheng_2K]

Silver walks up to Gold in a bar and says, "AU, get outta here!"

[Karen Zheng_2K]

Making bad chemistry jokes because all the good ones Argon

[Karen Zheng_2K]

The optimist sees the glass half full.
The pessimist sees the glass half empty.
The chemist see the glass completely full, half in the liquid state and half in the vapor state.

[Karen Zheng_2K]

What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?
A ferrous wheel.

[Karen Zheng_2K]

What did the bartender say when oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium, and phosphorous walked into his bar?
OH SNaP!

[Karen Zheng_2K]

Why do chemists enjoy working with ammonia?
Because it's pretty basic stuff.

[Karen Zheng_2K]

Why does hamburger yield lower energy than steak?
Because it's in the ground state.

[Karen Zheng_2K]

Titanium is a most amorous metal. When it gets hot, it'll combine with anything.

[Karen Zheng_2K]

When one physicist asks another, "What's new?" what's the typical response?
C over lambda.

[Kyung_Jin_Kim_1H]

What did the chemist buy from the beaver hunter?

Aldehydes

...sorry. I'm bad at these.

[Sam Smoot 2L]

Q: Why do chemists enjoy working with ammonia?
A: Because it's pretty basic stuff.

[Sam Smoot 2L]

Q: Why does hamburger yield lower energy than steak?
A: Because it's in the ground state.

[Sam Smoot 2L]

Q: What is "HIJKLMNO"?
A: H2O.

[Karen Zheng_2K]

What do you do with a dead chemist?
Barium.

[Karen Zheng_2K]

What is the name of 007's Eskimo cousin?
Polar bond.

[Karen Zheng_2K]

What element is a girl's future best friend?
Carbon.

[Thompson W 2C]

The optimist sees the glass half full.
The pessimist sees the glass half empty.
The chemist see the glass completely full, half in the liquid state and half in the vapor state.

[Thompson W 2C]

Helium walks into a bar,
The bar tender says "We don't serve noble gasses in here."
Helium doesn't react.

[Thompson W 2C]

Don't trust atoms, they make up everything.

[mendozayael_2H]

According to lecture, what might be Dr. Lavelle's favorite band?

A-ha