Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

[Karissa Newberry]

Why do white bears dissolve in water? Because they’re polar.

[504754253]

Hey professor, how often do you like jokes about elements? Periodically or...?

[Karissa Newberry]

What did one titration tell the other? Let’s meet at the endpoint.

[504754253]

I heard oxygen and magnesium were going out and I was like, O Mg

[504754253]

all these chemistry jokes are sodium funny lol

[SantanaRodriguezDis1G]

What did one ion say to the other?
I got my ion you

[Hyein Cha 2I]

Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."
The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" - and he died.

[Liam Maxwell 2E]

Why was the electrochemical cell arrested?

Because he was convicted of battery.

[Liam Maxwell 2E]

Two men walk into a restaurant. The First man orders, "I'd like H2O". The second man orders, "I'd like H2O too". The second man died.

[Sarah Wax 1G]

Q: What did one ion say to the other?
A: I've got my ion you.

[Sarah Wax 1G]

Q: What do you call a clown who's in jail?
A: A silicon.

[Sarah Wax 1G]

Q: What do you do with a sick chemist?
A: If you can't helium, and you can't curium, then you might as well barium.

[hojae_lee_1C]

Q: Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium?
A: It went OK.

[hojae_lee_1C]

The optimist sees the glass half full. The pessimist sees the glass half empty. The chemist sees the glass completely full, half with liquid and half with air.

[hojae_lee_1C]

A photon checks into a hotel and is asked if he needs any help with his luggage. He says, "No, I'm traveling light."

[Anne 2L]

throwback to simpler times
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[Josh Moy 1H]

dont trust an atom. Why? they make up everything

[cbercik]

I asked a guy next to me if he had any sodium hypobromite.
He said NaBrO

[cbercik]

What does the leader of the electron army say before battle?
CHAARGE!

[cbercik]

Look at her, she must have 11 protons..
because she's sodium fine

[cbercik]

A chemistry lab can be a huge party...
Some drop acid, and others drop the base

[cbercik]

Señor, is Silicon spelled the same way in Spanish?

"Si"

[cbercik]

The hipster chemist burned himself because he put his hand on the beaker before it was cool

[Karen Zheng_2K]

hopefully not this quarter

[Karen Zheng_2K]

.

[Carl Kim 1K]

Q: What do you call a scientific plant? A: Chemis-tree.

[Carl Kim 1K]

Q: What do you do with a dead chemist? A: Barium

[Carl Kim 1K]

Q: What did the chemist say when he found two new isotopes of Helium? A: HeHe.

[Jennifer Ho 1K]

Mole Problems?
Don't Worry! Just Call 602-1023!

[Sam Smoot 2L]

What do you get when you mix sulfur, tungsten, and silver?

SWAG

(Sorry)

[Sam Smoot 2L]

Know any jokes about sodium?

Na.

[Sam Smoot 2L]

How did the college student define hydrophobic on their chemistry exam?

Fear of utility bills.

[Seth So]

Old chemists never die, they just stop reacting.

[Seth So]

what is "HIJKLMNO"?

H20

[Seth So]

What do you call CH20?

Seawater

[Meghna2A]

A photon checks into a hotel and is asked if he needs any help with his luggage. He says, "No, I'm traveling light."

[Abdullah2I]

I asked the guy sitting next to me if he had any Sodium Hypobromite…
He said NaBrO

[Krupa Prajapati]

Forget Hydrogen, you're my number one element

[Krupa Prajapati]

Hey baby, I've got my ion you!

[Krupa Prajapati]

I wish I was adenine so I could get paired with U

[Jesus Rodriguez 1J]

Q: What element is a girl's future best friend?
A: Carbon.

[Sohini Halder 1G]

Are you sharing your electrons with me because I feel a real deep bond with you.

[Kevin Tabibian 1A]

Iron you glad I didn't say copper?

[Isa Samad 1L]

Did you know that you can cool yourself to -273.15˚C and still be 0k?

[Isa Samad 1L]

Q: What is the show cesium and iodine love watching together?
A: CSI

[hojae_lee_1C]

Q: Why did the noble gas cry?
A: Because all his friends Argon

[hojae_lee_1C]

Q: Why did Carbon marry Hydrogen?
A: They bonded well from the minute they met

[hojae_lee_1C]

Q: What do you call Iron blowing in the wind?
A: Fe-breeze

[ssthirkannad]

What did the man make for his enemy?
A Pb & J sandwich

[ssthirkannad]

Someone told me I have chemistry with a cute guy
But I don't have chemistry until next quarter

[ssthirkannad]

What's the most important part of any relationship?
Organic chemistry

[ssthirkannad]

If a king farts is it a noble gas?

[ssthirkannad]

Do you have 11 protons?
Because you're sodium fine

[ssthirkannad]

Why do hamburgers yield lower energy than steak?
Because they're in the ground state

[ssthirkannad]

Who revolutionized chemistry?
Free radicals

[ssthirkannad]

What do dipoles say in passing?
Hey, have you got a moment?

[ssthirkannad]

What do you call a tooth in a glass of water?
A one molar solution

[ssthirkannad]

What did one titration say to the other?
Let's meet at the endpoint

[ssthirkannad]

What do you call a clown in jail?
A silicon

[ssthirkannad]

I wish I had more chemistry jokes but I can only come up with them periodically

[Jennie Fox 1D]

I don't trust atoms....

I heard they make up everything

[Suchita 2I]

[Anna Li 2E]

A neutron walked into a bar and asked how much for a drink. The bartender replied, "for you, no charge."

[Liz White 1K]

I would tell another chemistry joke, but it appears that all the good ones Argon.

[Katie Blann 1E]

A photon checks into hotel and is asked if he needs any help with his luggage. He replies, "No, I'm traveling light"

[ChristineJimenez1J]

What happens to nitrogen as the sun rises?
It becomes daytrogen!

[ChristineJimenez1J]

What do you call Iron blowing in the wind?

Febreeze

[ChristineJimenez1J]

What is a cation afraid of?

A dogion

[ChristineJimenez1J]

Why is the pH of Youtube so stable?


Because it constantly buffers.

[ChristineJimenez1J]

Q: Sulfur and Oxygen are best friends, but they lived far from each other. How did oxygen chat with his friend?

A: He used his Sulfone

[ChristineJimenez1J]

Why did the acid go to the gym?

To become a buffer solution.

[ChristineJimenez1J]

What do you call a tooth in a glass of water? A one molar solution!

[ChristineJimenez1J]

What kind of fish is made of only two sodium atoms?

2 Na

[ChristineJimenez1J]

You can't trust atoms, gotta keep an ion them.

[ChristineJimenez1J]

What is the scariest element on the periodic table?

Ah, the element of surprise.

[Annalise Eder 2L]

If you're not part of the solution, you're part of the precipitate.

[Jennifer Ho 1K]

What do you call a ring of Fe+2 ions?

A ferrous wheel

[Julia Ward 2C]

Q: Why does hamburger have lower energy than steak?
A: Because it's in the ground state.

[Karissa Newberry]

What do you call a scientific plant? A: Chemis-tree.

[Karissa Newberry]

What element is derived from a Norse [censored]? A: Thorium.

[Karissa Newberry]

How can you spot a chemist in the restroom? They wash their hands before they go.

[Nishma Chakraborty 1J]

Why did the bear dissolve in water?

-because it was a polar bear

[Marina Georgies 1C]

Did you hear about the galvanic cell that went to court?

He got charged with a salt and battery!

[Marina Georgies 1C]

If I had a choice between DNA and RNA, I'd choose RNA because it has U in it.

[Marina Georgies 1C]

how to tell the difference between a plumber and a chemist: ask them to pronounce the word "unionized"

[Bill Phawn 2C]

Hey do you like chemistry? Because I've got my ion you.

[Naomi Jennings 2H]

I'm planning to go into a freezing chamber at -273.15 degrees C. My friends were worried but I told them I'd be 0K

[Richard Braun 1I]

Don't trust atoms, they make up everything.

[Richard Braun 1I]

What is the chemical formula for coffee?
CoFe2

[Richard Braun 1I]

What is the chemical formula for banana?
BaNa2

[Jason Muljadi 2C]

[Phillip Tran]

How do Sulfur and Oxygen communicate?

a sulfone

[Phillip Tran]

Why did the acid go to the gym?

To become a buffer solution!

[Phillip Tran]

What is it called when Queen of England farts?

A noble gas

[Daniel Vo 1B]

What's the chemical formula for a banana?
BaNa_2

[Daniel Vo 1B]

You wanna hear a joke about Sodium?
Na.

[Daniel Vo 1B]

If Avogadro calls, tell him to leave his number.

[Arjun Sharma 1D]

What did one charged ions say to the other?

I got my ion you ;)

[Arjun Sharma 1D]

There was once a man who was frozen to absolute 0...
He’s 0K now

[Shreya Ramineni 2L]

Q: What did the chemist say when he found two isotopes of helium?
A: HeHe