Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Hey are you made of Curium and Tellurium??
'Cause dang you're CuTe!
'Cause dang you're CuTe!
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Since we are studying half-life/radioactivity....
Are you Polonium-210?
Because your ambient glow is to die for.
Are you Polonium-210?
Because your ambient glow is to die for.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Coming up with new material for this thread is difficult... all of the good chemistry jokes Argon.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
What did the scientist say when he found 2 isotopes of helium? Hehe
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
504754253 wrote:how come every time i tell a joke there is no reaction?!
good one
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
504754253 wrote:what kind of car do chemist drive? mercedes benzene
That was sodium funny...i slapped my neon that one
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
The atom asks the electron, "why are you small?" The electron replies, "because I have a low charge!
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
You Must Be A Compound Of Barium and Beryllium
Because you're a total BaBe
Because you're a total BaBe
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Why Does Hamburger Yield Lower Energy Than Steak?
Because it's in the ground state.
Because it's in the ground state.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Did You Know Protons Have Mass?
I didn't even know they were Catholic!
I didn't even know they were Catholic!
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
A photon checks into a hotel and is asked if he needs any help with his luggage. He says, "No, I'm traveling light."
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Organic Chemistry is difficult. Those who study it have alkynes of trouble.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Why are chemists so great at solving problems?
Cause they work with all the solutions ;)
Cause they work with all the solutions ;)
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
What do you call a tooth in a glass of water?
A one molar solution.
A one molar solution.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Did you know that you can cool yourself to -273.15˚C and still be 0K?
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Why do chemists like nitrates so much?
They're cheaper than day rates.
They're cheaper than day rates.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
I have a pick up line instead.
"You must be made of Florine, Iodine, and Neon, because you are FINe :))"
Actually don't use it I don't think it'll work
"You must be made of Florine, Iodine, and Neon, because you are FINe :))"
Actually don't use it I don't think it'll work
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
If you're not part of the solution,
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.
You're part of the precipitate.
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You're part of the precipitate.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
In a sports relay race, a chemical kinetics specialist runs slowly, and his group loses the race.
When the chemical kinetics specialist is asked why he ran slowly, his reply was “I always wanted to be the significant rate determining step”.
When the chemical kinetics specialist is asked why he ran slowly, his reply was “I always wanted to be the significant rate determining step”.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
A student comes into his lab class right at the end of the hour. Fearing he'll get an "F", he asks a fellow student what she's been doing. "We've been observing water under the microscope. We're suppose to write up what we see." The page of her notebook is filled with little figures resembling circles and ellipses with hair on them. The panic-stricken student hears the bell go off, opens his notebook and writes, "During this laboratory, I examined water under the microscope and I saw twice as many H's as O's."
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Q: How did the football cheerleader define hydrophobic on her chemistry exam?
A: Fear of utility bills.
A: Fear of utility bills.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
One day on the Tonight Show, Jay Leno showed a classified add that read: "Do you have mole problems? If so, call Avogadro at 602-1023."
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Outside his buckyball home, one molecule overheard another molecule saying, "I'm positive that a free electron once stripped me of an electron after he lepton me. You gotta keep your ion them."
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Q: What is the name of the molecule bunny-O-bunny?
A: An ether bunny
A: An ether bunny
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Q: If H-two-O is the formula for water, what is the formula for ice?
A: H-two-O-CUBED
A: H-two-O-CUBED
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
What do you call a tooth in a glass of water? A one molar solution
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Q: What do you do with a sick chemist?
A. First you try to helium, then you try to curium, but if this fails then you have to barium.
A. First you try to helium, then you try to curium, but if this fails then you have to barium.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
What did the police molecule say to the suspect molecule? I got my ion you.
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Did you hear about the chemist who was reading a book about Helium?
He just couldn't put it down.
He just couldn't put it down.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Q: When one physicist asks another, "What's new?" what's the typical response?
A: C over lambda.
A: C over lambda.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Q: Did you hear about the man who got cooled to absolute zero?
A: He's 0K now.
A: He's 0K now.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
The only chemistry jokes that haven't been poster yet are the BORON ones,
*Ba Dum tsss*
*Ba Dum tsss*
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
A photon checks into a hotel and is asked if he needs any help with his luggage. He says, "No, I'm traveling light."
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Why can't chemists prank their friends?
They lack the element of surprise.
They lack the element of surprise.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
You'd think that atoms bonding with other atoms would mean they're being friendly, but really they steal each other's electrons.
How ionic.
How ionic.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
What did the mass spectrometer say to the gas chromatograph?
Breaking up is hard to do.
Breaking up is hard to do.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
What did the thermometer say to the graduated cylinder? "You may have graduated but I've got many degrees."
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Q: Why does hamburger yield lower energy than steak?
A: Because it's in the ground state.
A: Because it's in the ground state.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Why do chemistry teachers like to teach about ammonia? Because its basic material.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
What do you do with a sick chemist?
Well, if you can't curium, and you can't helium, you might as well barium.
Well, if you can't curium, and you can't helium, you might as well barium.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Do you remember what happens when metal and oxygen react? My memory is a little rusty.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
"I would tell another chemistry joke, but all of my good ones argon."
"That's sodium funny! I slapped my neon that one!"
"That's sodium funny! I slapped my neon that one!"
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
How do you tell the difference between a chemist and a train driver?
Tell them to pronounce "unionized"
Tell them to pronounce "unionized"
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
What do they do with a sick chemist?
Well if you can't curium and you can't helium, you might as well barium.
Well if you can't curium and you can't helium, you might as well barium.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
I'm having such a hard time staying up late to do homework.
It's sodium hard.
It's sodium hard.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Why did the sodium cross the road?
Because it could not wait N-A longer.
Because it could not wait N-A longer.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
There should be someone who regulates these chem jokes.
They're far too basic for my taste.
They're far too basic for my taste.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
In a sports relay race, a chemical kinetics specialist runs slowly, and his group loses the race.
When the chemical kinetics specialist is asked why he ran slowly, his reply was “I always wanted to be the significant rate determining step”.
When the chemical kinetics specialist is asked why he ran slowly, his reply was “I always wanted to be the significant rate determining step”.
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- Posts: 39
- Joined: Fri Sep 29, 2017 7:07 am
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
A photon checks into a hotel and is asked if it needs any help with its luggage.
"No," it says. "I'm traveling light."
"No," it says. "I'm traveling light."
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- Joined: Fri Sep 29, 2017 7:07 am
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Why did the hipster get burnt?
Because he touched the beaker before it was cool.
Because he touched the beaker before it was cool.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
What does a good movie about chemistry need?
The element of surprise!
The element of surprise!
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
what do u call a chemist who throws sodium chloride at students?
a-salt
a-salt
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