Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

Seth So · Postby **Seth So** » Sun Mar 11, 2018 11:50 pm

The best thing about learning equilibrium is that nothing changes.

Seth So · Postby **Seth So** » Sun Mar 11, 2018 11:52 pm

Clarisse Wikstrom 1H · Postby **Clarisse Wikstrom 1H** » Mon Mar 12, 2018 12:12 am

Hey girl. Are you made out of salt? Because your SO-DIUM fine. ;)

Daniel Vo 1B · Postby **Daniel Vo 1B** » Mon Mar 12, 2018 1:05 am

What show does Cesium and Iodine like watching?
CSI!

Daniel Vo 1B · Postby **Daniel Vo 1B** » Mon Mar 12, 2018 1:05 am

Helium walks into a bar,
The bar tender says "We don't serve noble gasses in here."
Helium doesn't react.

Daniel Vo 1B · Postby **Daniel Vo 1B** » Mon Mar 12, 2018 1:06 am

Why do chemists like working with ammonia?
Cuz it's pretty basic stuff.

Annie Lieu-1H · Postby **Annie Lieu-1H** » Mon Mar 12, 2018 10:45 am

Money Has Recently Been Discovered To Be A Not Yet Identified Super Heavy Element

The proposed name is: Unobtainium.

Annie Lieu-1H · Postby **Annie Lieu-1H** » Mon Mar 12, 2018 10:47 am

Did you know protons have mass?

I didn't even know they were Catholic!

Jesus Rodriguez 1J · Postby **Jesus Rodriguez 1J** » Mon Mar 12, 2018 11:58 am

I told a joke to a guy named Helium, he didn't react.

Jesus Rodriguez 1J · Postby **Jesus Rodriguez 1J** » Mon Mar 12, 2018 12:02 pm

Question: What's a pirate's favorite element?

Answer: Gold (Bet you thought I was gonna say Arrrgon)

KayleeMcCord1F · Postby **KayleeMcCord1F** » Mon Mar 12, 2018 12:14 pm

I tell bad chemistry jokes because all the good ones Ar.

KayleeMcCord1F · Postby **KayleeMcCord1F** » Mon Mar 12, 2018 12:29 pm

Hey do you have any sodium bromide?
Na BrO

Sam Smoot 2L · Postby **Sam Smoot 2L** » Mon Mar 12, 2018 1:06 pm

Have you heard the one about a chemist who was reading a book about helium?
He just couldn't put it down.

Sam Smoot 2L · Postby **Sam Smoot 2L** » Mon Mar 12, 2018 1:06 pm

I asked the guy sitting next to me if he had any Sodium Hypobromite…
He said NaBrO

Sam Smoot 2L · Postby **Sam Smoot 2L** » Mon Mar 12, 2018 1:07 pm

Q: What is the show cesium and iodine love watching together?
A: CSI

Sam Smoot 2L · Postby **Sam Smoot 2L** » Mon Mar 12, 2018 1:07 pm

Q: What is the chemical formula for "coffee"?
A: CoFe2

Sam Smoot 2L · Postby **Sam Smoot 2L** » Mon Mar 12, 2018 1:07 pm

Q: What is the chemical formula for "banana"?
A: BaNa2

Sam Smoot 2L · Postby **Sam Smoot 2L** » Mon Mar 12, 2018 1:08 pm

Q: What do you do with a sick chemist?
A: If you can't helium, and you can't curium, then you might as well barium.

Sam Smoot 2L · Postby **Sam Smoot 2L** » Mon Mar 12, 2018 1:08 pm

If the Silver Surfer and Iron Man team up, they’d be alloys.

Sam Smoot 2L · Postby **Sam Smoot 2L** » Mon Mar 12, 2018 1:08 pm

Q: Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium?
A: It went OK.

Sam Smoot 2L · Postby **Sam Smoot 2L** » Mon Mar 12, 2018 1:09 pm

Making bad chemistry jokes because all the good ones Argon

Tim Foster 2A · Postby **Tim Foster 2A** » Mon Mar 12, 2018 1:18 pm

What do you call the guest registry at the Annual Bovine Convention of Cows in Chemistry?

A Cattle-List!
moooo

Swetha Sundaram 1E · Postby **Swetha Sundaram 1E** » Mon Mar 12, 2018 2:51 pm

No, a catalyst isn't a record of the cows you own

Clement Ng · Postby **Clement Ng** » Mon Mar 12, 2018 3:00 pm

Is it me or did I stumble into 14C today?

Kyung_Jin_Kim_1H · Postby **Kyung_Jin_Kim_1H** » Mon Mar 12, 2018 4:59 pm

If only work were that simple (ft. 30sec MS paint)

Andres Reynoso 1J · Postby **Andres Reynoso 1J** » Mon Mar 12, 2018 7:38 pm

Q: What is the name of 007's Eskimo cousin?
A: Polar Bond.

Juanalv326 · Postby **Juanalv326** » Mon Mar 12, 2018 9:20 pm

What show do cesium and iodine love to watch together?

CsI

Juanalv326 · Postby **Juanalv326** » Mon Mar 12, 2018 9:21 pm

I'd tell you a chemistry joke, but all the good ones argon.

Meghna2A · Postby **Meghna2A** » Mon Mar 12, 2018 10:22 pm

I am out of Chemistry jokes, I should zinc of a new one.

Carl Kim 1K · Postby **Carl Kim 1K** » Mon Mar 12, 2018 10:23 pm

We have great chemistry, lets do some biology

Meghna2A · Postby **Meghna2A** » Mon Mar 12, 2018 10:25 pm

I've many chemistry jokes, I am just afraid they wouldn't get a very good reaction.

Meghna2A · Postby **Meghna2A** » Mon Mar 12, 2018 10:26 pm

What do you call an acid with an attitude?
An A-mean-oh Acid

Meghna2A · Postby **Meghna2A** » Mon Mar 12, 2018 10:27 pm

Why did the white bear dissolve in water?
Because it was Polar

Meghna2A · Postby **Meghna2A** » Mon Mar 12, 2018 10:28 pm

You talk funny when you inhale helium.. He He He

Meghna2A · Postby **Meghna2A** » Mon Mar 12, 2018 10:30 pm

Call the police cause NaCl/NaOH.

(The base is under a salt)

Meghna2A · Postby **Meghna2A** » Mon Mar 12, 2018 10:31 pm

Mole Problem?
Just call 602-1023

Meghna2A · Postby **Meghna2A** » Mon Mar 12, 2018 10:32 pm

Opening your book for the first time for a test be like:
Oxygen
Hydrogen
Carbon
Radium
Phosphorus

Meghna2A · Postby **Meghna2A** » Mon Mar 12, 2018 10:34 pm

What's the difference between Chemistry and Cooking?
In chemistry you should never lick the spoon.

Carl Kim 1K · Postby **Carl Kim 1K** » Mon Mar 12, 2018 10:44 pm

You be Flourine and I'll be Francium and maybe later I can give you an electron

Carl Kim 1K · Postby **Carl Kim 1K** » Mon Mar 12, 2018 10:53 pm

Want to be my substrate/enzyme?

Carl Kim 1K · Postby **Carl Kim 1K** » Mon Mar 12, 2018 10:54 pm

I'd be the photon to your electron and take you to an excited state.

Michelle Lu 1F · Postby **Michelle Lu 1F** » Tue Mar 13, 2018 4:29 pm

Why do chemists like nitrates so much? Because they are cheaper than day rates.

Michelle Lu 1F · Postby **Michelle Lu 1F** » Tue Mar 13, 2018 4:29 pm

Why do white bears like the water so much? Because they're polar.

Michelle Lu 1F · Postby **Michelle Lu 1F** » Tue Mar 13, 2018 4:32 pm

Michelle Lu 1F · Postby **Michelle Lu 1F** » Tue Mar 13, 2018 4:35 pm

Michelle Lu 1F · Postby **Michelle Lu 1F** » Tue Mar 13, 2018 4:36 pm

Girl you must be made of Florine, Iodine, and Neon, because you are FINe

Michelle Lu 1F · Postby **Michelle Lu 1F** » Tue Mar 13, 2018 4:39 pm

I wish I was adenine so I could get paired with U.

ssthirkannad · Postby **ssthirkannad** » Wed Mar 14, 2018 12:11 am

What is the name of the molecule bunny-O-bunny?
An ether bunny

ssthirkannad · Postby **ssthirkannad** » Wed Mar 14, 2018 12:12 am

What is the chemical formula for seawater?
CH2O

ssthirkannad · Postby **ssthirkannad** » Wed Mar 14, 2018 12:13 am

If a mole of moles were digging a mole of holes, what would you see?
A mole of molasses

Ryan Sydney Beyer 2B · Postby **Ryan Sydney Beyer 2B** » Wed Mar 14, 2018 8:03 am

If a King farts is it a Noble gas?

Clement Ng · Postby **Clement Ng** » Wed Mar 14, 2018 2:04 pm

Practice Exam Problem:

How many views does Chemistry Community have? (10 pts)

a) 100,000

b) 1,000,000

c) 5,000,000

d) none of the above

Veronica Rasmusen 2B · Postby **Veronica Rasmusen 2B** » Wed Mar 14, 2018 7:57 pm

What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?
A ferrous wheel

Veronica Rasmusen 2B · Postby **Veronica Rasmusen 2B** » Wed Mar 14, 2018 7:58 pm

What is the name of the molecule CH2O?
Seawater

Shreya Ramineni 2L · Postby **Shreya Ramineni 2L** » Wed Mar 14, 2018 11:23 pm

Q: What do you call a tooth in a glass of water?
A: A one molar solution.

cbercik · Postby **cbercik** » Wed Mar 14, 2018 11:30 pm

How many atoms are in guacamole?
Avocado's number

cbercik · Postby **cbercik** » Wed Mar 14, 2018 11:31 pm

Always have a positive attitude so you don't have an electron cloud hanging over your head

cbercik · Postby **cbercik** » Wed Mar 14, 2018 11:32 pm

What do dipoles say as they pass each other?
"Do you have a moment?"

Arjun Sharma 1D · Postby **Arjun Sharma 1D** » Thu Mar 15, 2018 1:18 am

Why did the chemist run slow in the relay race?

He wanted to be the rate determining step

Arjun Sharma 1D · Postby **Arjun Sharma 1D** » Thu Mar 15, 2018 1:20 am

It's no fun cracking jokes in front of people who aren't spontaneous. Don't get much of a reaction.

Chem_Mod · Postby **Chem_Mod** » Thu Mar 15, 2018 3:44 am

Lots of good jokes here.
:-)

Juanalv326 · Postby **Juanalv326** » Thu Mar 15, 2018 6:44 pm

I don't trust atoms....
They make up everything

Juanalv326 · Postby **Juanalv326** » Thu Mar 15, 2018 6:45 pm

What kind of dogs do chemists have?

Laboratory Dogs

Juanalv326 · Postby **Juanalv326** » Thu Mar 15, 2018 7:15 pm

What do you call an Acid with attitude?

A mean-oh Acid

Warda Sahib 2J · Postby **Warda Sahib 2J** » Thu Mar 15, 2018 7:35 pm

Have you heard about Agent 007 going to Antarctica? It was a polar Bond.

Warda Sahib 2J · Postby **Warda Sahib 2J** » Thu Mar 15, 2018 7:36 pm

Electron configuration? How BOHRing.

Warda Sahib 2J · Postby **Warda Sahib 2J** » Thu Mar 15, 2018 7:36 pm

How often does a chemist like to hear jokes? Periodically.

Warda Sahib 2J · Postby **Warda Sahib 2J** » Thu Mar 15, 2018 7:38 pm

Have you heard the one about a chemist who was reading a book about helium?
He just couldn't put it down.

Warda Sahib 2J · Postby **Warda Sahib 2J** » Thu Mar 15, 2018 7:41 pm

A photon checks into a hotel and is asked if he needs any help with his luggage. He says, "No, I'm traveling light."

Bill Phawn 2C · Postby **Bill Phawn 2C** » Thu Mar 15, 2018 10:36 pm

Miguel Velasco 2J · Postby **Miguel Velasco 2J** » Fri Mar 16, 2018 1:34 am

Two chemists go into a bar. The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O." The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" — and he died.

Miguel Velasco 2J · Postby **Miguel Velasco 2J** » Fri Mar 16, 2018 1:35 am

A photon checks into a hotel and is asked if he needs any help with his luggage. He says, "No, I'm traveling light."

Miguel Velasco 2J · Postby **Miguel Velasco 2J** » Fri Mar 16, 2018 1:38 am

Miguel Velasco 2J · Postby **Miguel Velasco 2J** » Fri Mar 16, 2018 1:41 am

Did you know you could cool yourself to -273 degrees celsius and still be 0k?

Miguel Velasco 2J · Postby **Miguel Velasco 2J** » Fri Mar 16, 2018 1:43 am

Q. Is silicon spelled the same in Spanish?
A. Si!

Miguel Velasco 2J · Postby **Miguel Velasco 2J** » Fri Mar 16, 2018 1:44 am

Pooja Nair 1C · Postby **Pooja Nair 1C** » Fri Mar 16, 2018 2:54 am

What is the show cesium and iodine love watching together? CSI

Pooja Nair 1C · Postby **Pooja Nair 1C** » Fri Mar 16, 2018 2:56 am

What kind of fish is made out of 2 sodium atoms? 2 Na

Richard Braun 1I · Postby **Richard Braun 1I** » Fri Mar 16, 2018 3:22 am

Don't trust atoms, they make up everything.

Richard Braun 1I · Postby **Richard Braun 1I** » Fri Mar 16, 2018 3:23 am

Did you know that you can cool yourself to -273.15˚C and still be 0k?

Richard Braun 1I · Postby **Richard Braun 1I** » Fri Mar 16, 2018 3:23 am

H2O is water and H2O2 is hydrogen peroxide. What is H2O4?

904940852 · Postby **904940852** » Fri Mar 16, 2018 4:10 am

I slapped my neon that one

904940852 · Postby **904940852** » Fri Mar 16, 2018 7:42 am

Why do chemists like nitrates so much?
They're cheaper than day rates.

Shanmitha Arun 1L · Postby **Shanmitha Arun 1L** » Fri Mar 16, 2018 10:28 am

Did you know that you can cool yourself to -273.15˚C and still be 0k?

Andrew Nguyen 2I · Postby **Andrew Nguyen 2I** » Fri Mar 16, 2018 1:36 pm

what was the name of the first electricity detective?

Sherlock Ohms

looooolllll

Pooja Nair 1C · Postby **Pooja Nair 1C** » Fri Mar 16, 2018 4:40 pm

What do you call iron particles blowing away in the wind?
Febreeze

mitalisharma2B · Postby **mitalisharma2B** » Fri Mar 16, 2018 6:55 pm

Old chemists never die, they just stop reacting

mitalisharma2B · Postby **mitalisharma2B** » Fri Mar 16, 2018 6:56 pm

What do you call a tooth in a glass of water? A one molar solution.

704887365 · Postby **704887365** » Fri Mar 16, 2018 7:20 pm

Why should you never trust atoms?
Bc they make up everything

704887365 · Postby **704887365** » Fri Mar 16, 2018 7:23 pm

H2O is water and H2O2 is hydrogen peroxide. What is H2O4?
Drinking.

704887365 · Postby **704887365** » Fri Mar 16, 2018 7:24 pm

Have you heard the one about a chemist who was reading a book about helium?
He just couldn't put it down

704887365 · Postby **704887365** » Fri Mar 16, 2018 7:24 pm

Why do chemists like nitrates so much?
They're cheaper than day rates.

704887365 · Postby **704887365** » Fri Mar 16, 2018 7:24 pm

I asked the guy sitting next to me if he had any Sodium Hypobromite…
He said NaBrO

704887365 · Postby **704887365** » Fri Mar 16, 2018 7:25 pm

What is the chemical formula for "banana"?
A: BaNa2

704887365 · Postby **704887365** » Fri Mar 16, 2018 7:26 pm

Old chemists never die, they just stop reacting

704887365 · Postby **704887365** » Fri Mar 16, 2018 7:27 pm

What is the chemical formula of coffee? CoFe2

704887365 · Postby **704887365** » Fri Mar 16, 2018 7:27 pm

What did one charged atom say to the other? I've got my ion you

704887365 · Postby **704887365** » Fri Mar 16, 2018 7:27 pm

What is the name of agent 007's Eskimo cousin? Polar Bond.

704887365 · Postby **704887365** » Fri Mar 16, 2018 7:28 pm

What element derives from a Norse [censored]? Thorium

704887365 · Postby **704887365** » Fri Mar 16, 2018 7:28 pm

A neutron walks into a shop and says,"I"d like a coke."
The shopkeeper serves up the coke.
"How much will that be?" asks the neutron.
The shopkeeper replies, "For you? No charge."

Who is online