Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Why was the mole of oxygen molecules excited when he left the singles bar? He got Avogadro's number
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Does anyone know any jokes about sodium? Na. Yeah, I know that was sodium funny
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Why do chemistry students do well when working with ammonia?
A: Because it's pretty basic stuff.
A: Because it's pretty basic stuff.
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
What do you do with a sick chemist?
If you can't helium and you can't curium, then you may as well barium.
If you can't helium and you can't curium, then you may as well barium.
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Two atoms are walking down the street
One of them shouts, "Hey! I think I lost an electron!"
The other inquires, "Are you sure?"
"Yes, I'm positive!"
One of them shouts, "Hey! I think I lost an electron!"
The other inquires, "Are you sure?"
"Yes, I'm positive!"
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Learning about electrons is exciting. They bring chemistry to a whole new level
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
H2O is water and H2O2 is hydrogen peroxide. What is H2O4?
Drinking.
Drinking.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Q: What do you call a tooth in a glass of water?
A: One molar solution.
A: One molar solution.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
A neutron walks into a bar. He asks the bartender, "How much for a beer?"
The bartender offers him a warm smile and says, "For you, no charge".
The bartender offers him a warm smile and says, "For you, no charge".
Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Why did the noble gas cry?
Because all his friends Argon. gg amirite
Because all his friends Argon. gg amirite
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
-What do you call a tooth in a glass of water? A one molar solution.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Little Johnny had a drink
But now he'll drink no more
For what he thought was H2O was H2SO4
But now he'll drink no more
For what he thought was H2O was H2SO4
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
How do you make a 32 Molar Soln? Put your grandma's dentures in water.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Q: What did the bartender say when oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium, and phosphorous walked into his bar?
A: OH SNaP!
A: OH SNaP!
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Q: Why do chemists call helium, curium, and barium the healing elements? A: Because if you can't helium or curium, you barium!
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Q: Why do chemists like nitrates so much? A: They're cheaper than day rates.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Helium walks into a bar. The bartender says "We do not serve noble gases here." He does not react.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
In a sports relay race, a chemical kinetics specialist runs slowly, and his group loses the race.
When the chemical kinetics specialist is asked why he ran slowly, his reply was “I always wanted to be the significant rate determining step”.
When the chemical kinetics specialist is asked why he ran slowly, his reply was “I always wanted to be the significant rate determining step”.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Did you know that you can lower your body temperature to -273 °C and be perfectly 0K?
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
I must be an exothermic reaction because I'm running out of energy.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Little Willie was a chemist. Little Willie is no more. What he thought was H2O was H2SO4.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Why did the white bear dissolve in water? Because it was a polar bear.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
You don’t want to mess with Helium, take away his electrons and he’ll threaten to cause cancer, and he isn’t bluffing.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
why do chemists call helium, curium, and barium the healing elements? Because if you can’t helium or curium, you barium!
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Heisenberg is rushing home in his car. He gets pulled over and the officer approaches his car. “Sir,” he says, “do you know how fast you were going?” Heisenberg replies “No, I do not, but I know exactly where I am.”
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Hey are you nervous for your basketball game Diamond? -No, I do good under pressure, and when the situation gets hot, it doesn’t phase me.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Why do chemists enjoy working with ammonia? Because it's pretty basic stuff.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
How did the chemist survive the famine?
He subsisted on titrations.
He subsisted on titrations.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Does anyone know any jokes about sodium? Na. Yeah, I know that was sodium funny!
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
You must be a compound of Beryllium and Barium,
because you’re a total BaBe
because you’re a total BaBe
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Q: What is the show cesium and iodine love watching together?
A: CSI
A: CSI
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Why do chemists always choose to turn into cats when given the ability to become an animal?
So they can say with finality: I mCAT
(I'm awful at these but they're so fun to make)
So they can say with finality: I mCAT
(I'm awful at these but they're so fun to make)
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
A chemistry student walks into a bar (err that serves non alcoholic drinks of course) and sees an attractive server. The student goes up to the server in an attempt to get the mixer to leave their shift. The student says:,
If 'U minus work', we could make some heat.
(ayyyy get it cause deltaU=q+w)
(please don't hate me making these terrible jokes give me life)
If 'U minus work', we could make some heat.
(ayyyy get it cause deltaU=q+w)
(please don't hate me making these terrible jokes give me life)
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
As a specialist in alchemy, Dumbledore decided to name his resistance movement against Voldemort inspired by his chemistry roots. As a result...
The Order of the Phoenix Reaction, featuring characters like Sirius Black the intermediate who comes up but shortly dies, Ron Weasley the rate determining step.
The Order of the Phoenix Reaction, featuring characters like Sirius Black the intermediate who comes up but shortly dies, Ron Weasley the rate determining step.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
I told my friends my chemistry jokes. There was no reaction other than the room growing cold.
Guess it wasn't spontaneous enough. Or maybe there was an exothermic one...
Guess it wasn't spontaneous enough. Or maybe there was an exothermic one...
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
This quarter is moving so fast! I really need to get it in........Kinetic control
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Why does a hamburger have lower energy than a steak?
Because it's in the ground state.
Because it's in the ground state.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
What did the scientist say when he discovered two isotopes of Helium?
HeHe.
HeHe.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Q: Why do chemists enjoy working with ammonia?
A: Because it's pretty basic stuff.
A: Because it's pretty basic stuff.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
This is what I picture the dilute saying whenever a precipitate forms in a concentration cell.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
What did one titration tell the other? Let’s meet at the endpoint.
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Q: What do you do with a sick chemist?
A: If you can't helium, and you can't curium, then you might as well barium.
A: If you can't helium, and you can't curium, then you might as well barium.
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Re: Post All Chemistry JokesDid you know that you can cool yourself to -273.15˚C and still be 0k? Here
Did you know that you can cool yourself to -273.15˚C and still be 0K?
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Did you know that you can cool yourself to -273.15˚C and still be 0k?
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
A photon checks into a hotel and is asked if he needs any help with his luggage. He says, "No, I'm traveling light."
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
What's a way to tell a chemist and a coal miner apart?
ask them to pronounce "unionized"
ask them to pronounce "unionized"
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
When they ask me if I recognized the two problems on the exam that were from the homework:
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
What is the chemical formula for the molecules in candy?
Carbon-Holmium-Cobalt-Lanthanum-Tellurium
or CHoCoLaTe
Carbon-Holmium-Cobalt-Lanthanum-Tellurium
or CHoCoLaTe
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
When they ask me if I was mentally stable during the final:
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Me: "The Hess's Law problem on the final should be easy, right?"
Lavelle:
Lavelle:
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
Everyone's favorite functional group:
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Re: Post All Chemistry Jokes Here
I thought if we missed doing 3 posts per week, we lost those points weekly, rather than the fact that we just needed to do thirty post total; so apparently, my life is a joke.
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