Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

[704887365]

Why was the mole of oxygen molecules excited when he left the singles bar? He got Avogadro's number

[704887365]

Silver walks up to gold in a bar and says, "Au, get outta here!"

[704887365]

What would you call a clown in jail? Silicon

[704887365]

I'd tell you a chemistry joke, but all the good ones argon

[704887365]

Does anyone know any jokes about sodium? Na. Yeah, I know that was sodium funny

[704887365]

Why do chemistry students do well when working with ammonia?
A: Because it's pretty basic stuff.

[704887365]

What do you do with a sick chemist?
If you can't helium and you can't curium, then you may as well barium.

[704887365]

Two atoms are walking down the street
One of them shouts, "Hey! I think I lost an electron!"
The other inquires, "Are you sure?"
"Yes, I'm positive!"

[704887365]

Learning about electrons is exciting. They bring chemistry to a whole new level

[704887365]

Dubstep titration: drop the bass

[Abdullah2I]

H2O is water and H2O2 is hydrogen peroxide. What is H2O4?
Drinking.

[Abdullah2I]

Q: What do you call a tooth in a glass of water?
A: One molar solution.

[Abdullah2I]

A neutron walks into a bar. He asks the bartender, "How much for a beer?"
The bartender offers him a warm smile and says, "For you, no charge".

[Seth So]

Why did the noble gas cry?

Because all his friends Argon. gg amirite

[Seth So]

What do dipoles say when passing?

"Do you got a moment?"

[Seth So]

What do you call a tooth in a glass of water?

"One molar solution"

[904940852]

what is the atomic symbol of confusion?

Um

[Jesus Rodriguez 1J]

-What do you call a tooth in a glass of water? A one molar solution.

[Jesus Rodriguez 1J]

Little Johnny had a drink
But now he'll drink no more
For what he thought was H2O was H2SO4

[Juanalv326]

Dubstep Titration: Drop the Base

[Juanalv326]

Lost an Electron,
You really have to keep an ion them

[Juanalv326]

Why did the white bear dissolve in water?

Because it was polar

[Zane Mills 1E]

What is a cation afraid of ? A dogion.

[Zane Mills 1E]

How do you make a 32 Molar Soln? Put your grandma's dentures in water.

[Isa Samad 1L]

Q: What did the bartender say when oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium, and phosphorous walked into his bar?
A: OH SNaP!

[Liam Maxwell 2E]

Q: What do you call Iron blowing in the wind? A: Febreeze.

[Liam Maxwell 2E]

Q: Why do chemists call helium, curium, and barium the healing elements? A: Because if you can't helium or curium, you barium!

[Liam Maxwell 2E]

Q: Why do chemists like nitrates so much? A: They're cheaper than day rates.

[Krupa Prajapati]

Helium walks into a bar. The bartender says "We do not serve noble gases here." He does not react.

[Krupa Prajapati]

Avogadro says, "Hey ladies, take my number: 6.02 X 10^23"

[Krupa Prajapati]

Are you made of copper? Cause I Cu in a relationship with me.

[Kyle Alves 3K]

In a sports relay race, a chemical kinetics specialist runs slowly, and his group loses the race.

When the chemical kinetics specialist is asked why he ran slowly, his reply was “I always wanted to be the significant rate determining step”.

[Kyle Alves 3K]

Did you know that you can lower your body temperature to -273 °C and be perfectly 0K?

[Kyle Alves 3K]

yo momma so ugly not even fluorine would bond w her.

[Kyle Alves 3K]

I must be an exothermic reaction because I'm running out of energy.

[Kyle Alves 3K]

Little Willie was a chemist. Little Willie is no more. What he thought was H2O was H2SO4.

[Kyle Alves 3K]

Why did the white bear dissolve in water? Because it was a polar bear.

[Kyle Alves 3K]

You don’t want to mess with Helium, take away his electrons and he’ll threaten to cause cancer, and he isn’t bluffing.

[Kyle Alves 3K]

Hey Chemistry Cat! Tell us a potassium joke! Chemistry Cat: “K”

[Kyle Alves 3K]

why do chemists call helium, curium, and barium the healing elements? Because if you can’t helium or curium, you barium!

[Kyle Alves 3K]

Heisenberg is rushing home in his car. He gets pulled over and the officer approaches his car. “Sir,” he says, “do you know how fast you were going?” Heisenberg replies “No, I do not, but I know exactly where I am.”

[Kyle Alves 3K]

Hey are you nervous for your basketball game Diamond? -No, I do good under pressure, and when the situation gets hot, it doesn’t phase me.

[Kyle Alves 3K]

Why do chemists enjoy working with ammonia? Because it's pretty basic stuff.

[Kyle Alves 3K]

How did the chemist survive the famine?

He subsisted on titrations.

[Kyle Alves 3K]

Does anyone know any jokes about sodium? Na. Yeah, I know that was sodium funny!

[Renee Delamater 2H]

Why can't you trust atoms? They make everything up!!!!!!!

[Thompson W 2C]

You must be a compound of Beryllium and Barium,
because you’re a total BaBe

[Thompson W 2C]

My teacher threw Sodium Chloride at me.
That’s a salt!

[Thompson W 2C]

Q: What is the show cesium and iodine love watching together?
A: CSI

[Kyung_Jin_Kim_1H]

Why do chemists always choose to turn into cats when given the ability to become an animal?

So they can say with finality: I mCAT
(I'm awful at these but they're so fun to make)

[Kyung_Jin_Kim_1H]

A chemistry student walks into a bar (err that serves non alcoholic drinks of course) and sees an attractive server. The student goes up to the server in an attempt to get the mixer to leave their shift. The student says:,

If 'U minus work', we could make some heat.

(ayyyy get it cause deltaU=q+w)
(please don't hate me making these terrible jokes give me life)

[Katie Blann 1E]

Chemistry jokes are sodium funny!
I slapped my neon on that one!

[Bansi Amin 1D]

I hope this posts properly lol

[Kyung_Jin_Kim_1H]

As a specialist in alchemy, Dumbledore decided to name his resistance movement against Voldemort inspired by his chemistry roots. As a result...

The Order of the Phoenix Reaction, featuring characters like Sirius Black the intermediate who comes up but shortly dies, Ron Weasley the rate determining step.

[Kyung_Jin_Kim_1H]

I told my friends my chemistry jokes. There was no reaction other than the room growing cold.

Guess it wasn't spontaneous enough. Or maybe there was an exothermic one...

[Masih Tazhibi 2I]

This quarter is moving so fast! I really need to get it in........Kinetic control

[Masih Tazhibi 2I]

What's an Organic Chemist's greatest fear?

A BACKSIDE ATTACK!

[Michelle Lu 1F]

What is the chemical formula for a banana? BaNa2

[Michelle Lu 1F]

I'd tell you a chemistry joke, but all the good ones argon.

[Michelle Lu 1F]

Did you know you can cool yourself to -273.15 ºC and be 0K?

[Michelle Lu 1F]

Why does a hamburger have lower energy than a steak?
Because it's in the ground state.

[Michelle Lu 1F]

What did the scientist say when he discovered two isotopes of Helium?
HeHe.

[Michelle Lu 1F]

I told my friends a chemistry joke today.
There was no reaction.

[Thompson W 2C]

Q: What do you call a clown who's in jail?
A: A silicon.

[Thompson W 2C]

Q: Why do chemists enjoy working with ammonia?
A: Because it's pretty basic stuff.

[Thompson W 2C]

Q: What element is derived from a Norse [censored]?
A: Thorium.

[Thompson W 2C]

Q: What kind of dogs do chemists have?
A: Laboratory Retrievers.

[Thompson W 2C]

Q: What do you call a wheel made of iron?
A: A ferrous wheel.

[Alexander Peter 1F]

What do you call a tooth in water?

A molar solution.

[Danah Albaaj 1I]

This is what I picture the dilute saying whenever a precipitate forms in a concentration cell.

[Emily Warda 2L]

What did one titration tell the other? Let’s meet at the endpoint.

[Justin Lai 1C]

What is the chemical formula for "coffee"?
CoFe2

[Justin Lai 1C]

Making bad chemistry jokes because all the good ones Argon

[Garret G 2F]

[Justin Lai 1C]

What do you do with a dead chemist?
Barium

[Garret G 2F]

When I ask Lavelle if we have to derive equations

[Thompson W 2C]

Q: What do you do with a sick chemist?
A: If you can't helium, and you can't curium, then you might as well barium.

[miznaakbar]

Hey, do you have 11 protons?

Because you're sodium fine

[Thompson W 2C]

Did you know that you can cool yourself to -273.15˚C and still be 0K?

[rkusampudi]

Don't trust atoms, they make up everything.

[rkusampudi]

Did you know that you can cool yourself to -273.15˚C and still be 0k?

[rkusampudi]

Making bad chemistry jokes because all the good ones Argon

[rkusampudi]

A photon checks into a hotel and is asked if he needs any help with his luggage. He says, "No, I'm traveling light."

[rkusampudi]

The name's Bond. Ionic Bond. Taken, not shared.

[Nishma Chakraborty 1J]

What's the chemical formula for a banana?

BaNa2

[Nishma Chakraborty 1J]

What's a way to tell a chemist and a coal miner apart?

ask them to pronounce "unionized"

[Niyanta Joshi 1F]

If a king farts, is it a noble gas?

[Niyanta Joshi 1F]

I don't like atoms, I heard they make up everything...

[Niyanta Joshi 1F]

what kind of fish has only 2 sodium atoms?
2 Na

[Ricardo Ruiz Flores 1D]

When they ask me if I recognized the two problems on the exam that were from the homework:

[Kyra Dingle 1B]

What is the chemical formula for the molecules in candy?

Carbon-Holmium-Cobalt-Lanthanum-Tellurium

or CHoCoLaTe

[Ricardo Ruiz Flores 1D]

When they ask me if I was mentally stable during the final:

[Ricardo Ruiz Flores 1D]

Me: "The Hess's Law problem on the final should be easy, right?"
Lavelle:

[Ricardo Ruiz Flores 1D]

Everyone's favorite functional group:

[Ricardo Ruiz Flores 1D]

Silver walks up to gold in a bar and says, "Au, get outta here!"

[Ricardo Ruiz Flores 1D]

I thought if we missed doing 3 posts per week, we lost those points weekly, rather than the fact that we just needed to do thirty post total; so apparently, my life is a joke.

[Ricardo Ruiz Flores 1D]

You can't spell joke without Potassium!

[Jason Muljadi 2C]

[Jason Muljadi 2C]

[Jason Muljadi 2C]