Post All Chemistry Jokes Here

[juchung7]

Q: What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?
A: A ferrous wheel:
Fe - Fe
/ \
Fe Fe
\ /
Fe - Fe

[Akash_Kapoor_1L]

http://www.chemistryjokes.com/images/th ... fusion.jpg

Me during that entire final

[Kristin Ishaya 1A]

Water: Hey oil! Wanna hang out?

Oil: Sorry. I can't mix with you guys.

Water: Hydrophobe!

[Kristin Ishaya 1A]

If you're serious about chemistry, the only frat you should be thinking about joining is Sig Fig. ;)

[Kristin Ishaya 1A]

I hate bad chemistry jokes. Hearing one really Hz my ears.

[Kristin Ishaya 1A]

Chemistry? More like cheMYSTERY because I have no idea what's going on...

[Kristin Ishaya 1A]

What did the scientist say when he/she found two isotopes of helium? HeHe.

[Kristin Ishaya 1A]

He/she threw sodium chloride at me! That's a salt!

[Kristin Ishaya 1A]

A sign outside the chemistry hotel reads "Great Day Rates, Even Better NO3's!"

[Joshua Yang 1H]

Pre-2012 chemistry joke bruuh :/


Explanation: Uuh (ununhexium) was officially named as Lv (livermorium) in 2012. So sadly we can't make this joke anymore bruuh
https://www.nature.com/articles/nchem.2593

[Steve H]

What is an isotope?

[Nienjou Claire 1E]

Q: what kind of dogs do scientists have?
A: laboratory retrievers

[Shimran Kumar 1C]

I try to tell chemistry jokes, but there's no reaction :'(

[nicknavejas1B]

If the Silver Surfer and Iron Man team up, they’d be alloys.

[nikitasridhar_1b]

what kind of dog do chemists have? laboratory retrievers

[Nancy Nguyen 1K]

I don't trust atoms... I heard they make up everything

[Nandhini_2K]

Chemistry jokes are sodium funny

[Jack Dias]

Two men walk into a chemistry-themed bar. The first man asks for a glass of H2O. The second man says, "I'll have a glass of H20, too". The second man has to go to the hospital.







(H202 aka dihydrogen dioxide aka not actually water the bartender got bamboozled)

[Jamie Reniva 1J]

Q: What is the chem formula for "coffee"?
A: CoFe2

[melodyso1K]

Argon and Neon walk into a bar during the French Revolution. The bartender said "We don't serve noble gasses here"

[Sollie1G]

If Avogadro calls, tell him to leave his number

[AlyssaRivera]

Two chemists go into a bar. The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O." The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" — and he died.

[Ashwin Deena 1L]

I asked the guy sitting next to me if he had any Sodium Hypobromite. He said NaBrO

[Nandhini_2K]

Why are chemists great for solving problems? They have all the solutions.

[Nienjou Claire 1E]

I don't trust atoms...
I heard they make up everything.

[Cindy Nguyen 1L]

What kind of dogs do chemists have?

Laboratory Retrievers

[Ashwin Deena 1L]

I make bad chemistry jokes because all the good ones Argon.

[Cindy Nguyen 1L]

What do you call an acid with an attitude?

A-mean-oh acid.

[Cindy Nguyen 1L]

If you're not part of the solution, you're part of the precipitate.

[Ani Boyadjian 1A]

Q: What do you call a tooth in a glass of water?
A: One molar solution.

[Cindy Nguyen 1L]

People always say all the good chemistry jokes Argon, but NO3-, they're not.

[Sophie W]

What's a chemist's dream car?
A Mercedes Benz-ene!

[Jocelyn1B]

I wanted to make a clever chemistry joke, but the best ones Argon!

[Nancy Nguyen 1K]

How often do I tell chemistry jokes?

Periodically

[Nancy Nguyen 1K]

Chemistry jokes are sodium funny!

I slapped my neon that one!!!

[Nancy Nguyen 1K]

A cation is an ion with a paw-sitive charge

[Caroline Crotty 1D]

What element is a girl's future best friend?
Carbon

[Hope_Pham_1G]

You must be a compound of beryllium and barium...because you’re a total BaBe

[Hope_Pham_1G]

I heard oxygen and magnesium were going out and I was like OMg!

[Ani Boyadjian 1A]

How often do I tell Chemistry jokes?
Periodically!

[Ani Boyadjian 1A]

Did you hear about the man who got cooled to absolute zero?
He's 0K now.

[Sollie1G]

Why did the white bear dissolve in water?

Because it was polar

[Mohamad Farhat 1L]

they say 70% of you is h2o, well the other 30% of me wants2die.

[Ashwin Deena 1L]

What do you call a tooth in a glass of water? A 1 molar solution.

[Nabeeha Khan 1D]

Q: What kind of dog does a chemist have?
A: A laboratory retriever

[Ashwin Deena 1L]

What did one ion say to the other? I've got my ion you.

[Nabeeha Khan 1D]

Q: What did one charged atom say to the other?

A: I've got my ion you.

[Ashwin Deena 1L]

Why do chemists like nitrates? Because they're cheaper than day rates.

[Nabeeha Khan 1D]

A photon checks into a hotel and is asked if he needs any help with his luggage. He says, "No, I'm traveling light."

[arina_m 1A]

What did C14 do for Valentine's Day?

He went carbon dating :)

[Aryana Nazem 1A]

A neutron walks into a bar. He asks the bartender, "How much for a beer?" The bartender offers him a warm smile and says, "For you, no charge."

[Aryana Nazem 1A]

I asked the guy sitting next to me if he had any Sodium Hypobromite…
He said NaBrO

[MeghetyManoyan1A]

Why does a hamburger have less energy than steak?

Because it's in the ground state!

[Brayan Claros]

Anyone know any jokes about sodium?
Na

[MeghetyManoyan1A]

What's wrong with a joke involving Cobalt, Radon, and Ytterium?
it's CoRnY

[melodyso1K]

How often do I tell chemistry jokes? Periodically.

[Jocelyn1B]

I have many chemistry jokes.
I'm just afraid they won't get a good reaction!

[Nancy Nguyen 1K]

[Nancy Nguyen 1K]

[Nancy Nguyen 1K]

[Jasmine Emtage-1J]

What do chemists use to make guacamole? Avogadros

[octaviahuang1f]

playground duty :)

[Nandhini_2K]

What was Avogadro’s favorite board game?
Moleoply

[Sollie1G]

I tell bad chemistry jokes because all the good ones Argon :(

[Caitlyn Ponce 1L]

Are you made up of copper and tellurium? Cause you're really CuTe wow

[Angelica Garcia 1-H]

hahahahah

[Jocelyn1B]

I don't trust atoms.
I hear they make up everything.

[MeghetyManoyan1A]

What kind of fish is made out of 2 sodium atoms?
2Na

[ElizabethP1L]

What kind of fish is made up of two sodium atoms?

Answer: 2 NA

[Ani Boyadjian 1A]

Learning about electrons is exciting. They bring chemistry to a whole new level.

[Nabeeha Khan 1D]

Q: What do you do with a sick chemist?
A. First you try to helium, then you try to curium, but if this fails then you have to barium.

[Nabeeha Khan 1D]

Q: How many guacs are in a bowl of guacamole?
A: Avocados number.

[Nabeeha Khan 1D]

Have you heard the one about a chemist who was reading a book about helium?
He just couldn't put it down.

[arina_m 1A]

I tried to make a good chemistry joke...

But there was no reaction :(

[arina_m 1A]

What do you do with a dead chemist?

Barium.

What do you do with a wounded chemist?

Helium.

A sick chemist?

Curium.

[Ani Boyadjian 1A]

Chemists never die, they just stop reacting.

[Ani Boyadjian 1A]

Q: Why are chemists great for solving problems?
A: They always have a solution.

[Mohamad 1J]

Did you know that you can cool yourself to -273.15˚C and still be 0k?

[Mohamad 1J]

Q: Anyone know any jokes about sodium?
A: Na

[Mohamad 1J]

Q: What do you call a tooth in a glass of water?
A: One molar solution.

[Cindy Nguyen 1L]

How do you find a mole?

Eenie meenie minie mole.

-an original

[Nancy Nguyen 1K]

[Nancy Nguyen 1K]

[Nancy Nguyen 1K]

[MeghetyManoyan1A]

What do you call a clown who's in jail?

A silicon.

[Ashwin Deena 1L]

You can freeze yourself at -273 degrees celsius and still be 0k.

[Ashwin Deena 1L]

My favorite jokes are about Cobalt, Radon, and Yttrium because I love CoRnY chemistry jokes

[Ashwin Deena 1L]

What do you call iron blowing in the wind? Febreeze.

[Ani Boyadjian 1A]

Q: What is a Ochem students favorite kind of plant? A: A chemistree

[Ani Boyadjian 1A]

Q: According to a chemist, why is the world so diverse? A: Because it's made up of alkynes of people.

[Caroline Crotty 1D]

I try to make chemistry jokes, but generally there is no reaction.

[Caroline Crotty 1D]

I tell bad chemistry jokes because all the good ones "argon".

[Caroline Crotty 1D]

Atom: Oh my gosh I've lost a neutron!

Another atom: Don't worry, you can get a new one "free of charge".

[arina_m 1A]

Chemistry Pickup Line:

Are you full of Beryllium, Gold and Titanium?

Because you're BeAuTi-ful

[Nancy Nguyen 1K]

[Nancy Nguyen 1K]

This hurt

[Nancy Nguyen 1K]

[Sollie1G]

A photon checks into a hotel and they ask if he has any luggage.

"No, I'm traveling light."

[Nandhini_2K]

Making chemistry puns instead of doing actual work, more like...

[Ani Boyadjian 1A]

Q: What animal is made up of calcium, nickel and neon?
A: A CaNiNe